I completely understand where you're coming from with this. Becoming a parent really changed you and your stance on life, however eating disorders don't just disappear when you become a parent. As ever it's still important that you move at a safe pace not committing to something you're really unwilling to see through. I think it's important to get help when you're ready (and to work on being ready rather than just letting yourself decline) because I think that feeling pressured into something is generally never a good thing and makes any possible relapses so much worse because anger and resentment at other people comes out.
Continue to be an amazing mother to your son and work towards your goal of health.
Your eating disorder doesn't define you, letting go of it doesn't mean you will lose who you are.
Getting a therapist is a really good start even if they aren't eating disorder focused.
Keep going on the path of getting help ?
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