demetria lucas @abelleinbk
demetria lucas @abelleinbk
Brooklyn
Life Coach and Author of A Belle In Brooklyn, the award-winning site and the book. abelleinbrooklyn.com
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Ask about dating/ relationships ONLY. Coaching? coachedbybelle @gmail.com
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Lol. Since I know what you sound like, I'm reading all the answers in your voice
Ha!!!
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I've been down a long time and was losing my motivation, I wanted to give up on my goals. Reading through your blog has reignited my passion and determination to make my dreams come true, with hard work and persistence. You are awesome, thank you for being you :) I wish you continued success.
:-)
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Belle, a few weeks ago, I shared my fantasy with my bf that I'd like to have a threesome with another guy. He said this makes him feel inadequate as a lover. What do I do to ease his bruised male ego? I wish now I hadn't told him at all.
Reassure him that he does it for you. And tell him it's a long standing fantasy that pre-dates him. It's not about him. Just a fantasy.
Thoughts on long engagements (more than a year/1.5 yrs) ? Is that a sign something might b wrong or one party isn't ready?
Yep.
Add to that, the relationship may not be ready. Take a long engagement to make the right decision at the right time over a divorce.
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I notice that the phrase you suggest to a lot of people for breaking things off is "This isn't working for me anymore." I'm concerned about that sounding cold or the conversation not ending there. Is there a way to soften that up or ease the blow?
Being direct isn't cold.
I can't advise you how to beat around the bush and muddle communication.
If the person has a question after your statement, answer. Don't list more than two reasons it's ending. No need to kick folks while they're down.
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May I ask your dress size and where do you get all those pretty dresses?
You may ask, but I won't tell you my dress size. All my dresses are on my IG: ‎@pretty_by_belle
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Do you ever straighten your hair, not that you should (your hair is fab) just wondering.
Nah.
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Hi, I have been seeing this guy for about 5 months and it seems like were in the same place as we were in the beginning and I'm starting to feel like I'm wasting my time. He and I have spoken about this and he says that he has issues communicating. I don't know what to do about this please help.
Great, he has issues. It's nice that he acknowledged that. MORE IMPORTANTLY, what is he doing about them? Nothing? He can go, especially as you're regressing NOT progressing.
What's his plan to work on his communication skills? Ask him.
Agree with the previous post that I cannot see your FB comments on RHOA. I'm a follower of your page and not a friend. Does that make a difference?
Ohhhhh. That may be it. Grrr. I'm at follower limit and FB readers asked me not to open page.
I'll post something tomorrow.
I've decided that I want to be celibate until I'm married for religious and personal reasons. I don't wanna give the cookie away to men who don't deserve it. How do I explain this well to a man I'm dating and when?
Just explain the first time the sex convo comes up.
Didn't see any commentary about RHOA on ur FB...I tried looking : /
It's def there + 80 or 90 comments. /demetrialucas
lol Belle, please help me understand. How do you "accidentally" rub the magic stick? I feel like if I did that it would be so obvious from the jump. (Note: lol, I read and re-read ABIB and I'm still trying to fig out how u did it)
The point IS TO BE OBVIOUS.
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Guy i just started dating just joined FB today and has asked me to friend him. But I dont wanna friend any guy i date. how do i tell him that without hurting his feelings?
Be honest and tell him why. You're not obligated to "friend" people.
How do you tell an ex bf/friend, that's a serial dater, that the root of his relationship problems lies with never being single/regrouping in-between relationships? It's like he ALWAYS has a pair and a spare. He's been that way since hs (he's 25 now). He asks me for relationship advice but I always
Next time he asks for advice, tell him your thoughts.
What are your thoughts on Porsha fighting Kenya? Kenya constantly coming for Phaedra about Apollo? Do you think the fight would've gone down if Porsha was still married?
Go read my FB page. I comment on everything there and use it more than Twitter
I've just become acquainted with your blog, I love it! I wish my life was as eventful. The past few nights (insomnia lol) I've been reading through your blog and last night I read "She Fell" that mess was hilarious, I laughed so hard lol. Did that ever spark any bi-curiosity in you?
Huh?? No. Women are soft and curvy. I like hard edges and straight lines.
I thought that ish was straight up weird.
Is it hard for you to live tweet reality shows since you've been there and know how much editing goes into each scene? I miss your take on rhoa.
Yup.
I recently lost a lot of weight, 75lbs. Guys approach me all the time now, it's awkward, sometimes all the attention I get from men now is overwhelming. How am I supposed to act, what am I supposed to say and do?
It's like you're going through puberty all over again, right?
Entertain the ones who are attractive and nice WITH PERSONALITY (hard to come by.) Tell everyone else you have a bf so they leave you alone.
Go slow with everyone.
You're supposed to act like yourself.
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So my ex recently texted me to see how I was doing (he says he wants to remain friends blah blah blah) but he has a history of texting me when his new relationship isn't going as planned(which I've called him out on as well) idk if I should respond and be friendly or just let it ride. Thoughts?
Let it ride. If he wanted you to be his emotional crutch, he should have stayed in a relationship with you. Stop giving valuable resources (support) away for nothing in return.
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Update: I told the guy I'm interested in him. He said he's out the game and working on himself but now he barely make eye contact and keeps interaction to a minimum. I'm not interested anymore since he's doing him but should I address him acting weird? Or just leave him to get over himself?
Move on.
He's completely uninterested
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i read ABIB several times. Can't remember the fool proof seduction method...Could you just point out the chapter please?
Rub the magic stick 3x. Once is accident, twice is coincidence, third time is "let's get this poppin."
Either he'll take over or you straddle him.
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Friendship fell apart when I moved. Friend doesn't understand why I was so upset that she didn't try to keep in touch & called me needy. She's getting married in the fall. I think she thinks I'm jealous. Am not; never was. Happy for her. Should I still send wedding present altho we no longer speak?
If you don't speak, you don't need to send a present. If you're trying to mend the friendship, send a gift.
The "you're jealous of my relationship" people kill me. It happens, of course. But they usually accuse the wrong people of it. Anyway...
You still care, so talk to your friend. Explain why you were HURT that she didn my jeep in touch and remind her that you are happy for her and that you miss the friendship. Maybe she'll hear you if you out it that way.
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Is it worth the investment to attend graduate school for journalism (or any media related field)?
Depends on what you're trying to get out of it. It has it's pros (connections) and cons (cost.)
Do you believe in Karma? That everyone get what he or she deserves when they do someone wrong?
More or less.
Ok..stop telling my life on your blog! So one of my BFF's bf hasphysically abused her so bad that she's lost a child. He's also dragged her on the side of a road where moving cars were passing. She speaks of marriage often .. still participate?
Ask her to speak freely and express your concern. Hopefully, she takes your advice. If ahe wants to stay, her choice. It's her life. She can screw it up she likes. Tell her you're there for her. She needs a support system if/when she decides to do better for herself.
If she gets married, you still go.
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