I see a man and I feel nothing, but when I read his poignant writing, I couldn’t be even more in love. It was as if we connected in a spiritual level, (maybe) above admiration for a talented author. Have you felt this way before?
hmm, luckily... all the female artists I like, usually with lyrics and music I really appreciate, are quite attractive physically as well :P hahahahahahaha so perhaps I haven't felt that feel.
but then I could relate this to something personal lol. I guess this made me think of someone, someone that, perhaps because of a "time and place" thing.. because of certain moments and a timeframe of seeing each other a lot... made me feel a side of her that I have never seen before until that point.. and I guess that, combined with what I perceive of her before.... made me fell quite deeply in love lol
i think it's wrong to say that up until that point I felt "nothing" for her.. she's always a character I "noticed" and perhaps admired in a peculiar way... but yea the word LOVE was definitely a new vocabulary in that point in time. it was beautiful... at least to me -_- hahaha! if there's no more chance of ever developing it to something completely real I hope the "love" will keep spinnin in some way or another. she's always a good company for me :) #WoySoriBangetForThisSubAskFmPostKaloBacaFeelLikeWritingThisHaha!
orang yang dikangenin waktu SMP dan SMA dan masa sekarang?
ada sih yang langsung kepikiran. klasik. tapi it's about time to let whatever be with that one :) many other realities to dwell on. of course if I'm given a fair amount of time to hang and talk about stuff i'll make the most out of it. will try to not have any weird expectations, just pure love for a friend.
yang lg kepikiran dan lebih mau gw kangenin sekarang adalah beberapa orang2 atau "karakter2" yg gw temukan pas tinggal di UK :) banyak pengalaman2/perasaan2 menarik di sana dengan orang2 yang I wish had the time to know more of. So here's one to meeting people I "need" to meet again in the future! and klo suatu saat gw bikin buku or something pasti banyak kok karakter2 tersebut yang bakal menjadi inspirasi.
seberapa penting hobby pasangan bagi lo ?
Jujur "lumayan" ada pengaruh sih. Hobby n interests orang yg biasanya bikin gw tertarik dan pengen lebih tau tentang orang itu.. nggak harus sama persis hobinya yg penting ada suatu "wavelenght" yg ke-connect sih. Mnurut gw gtu2 lbih penting karna klo physical attraction it happens all the time kan? (Not saying physical attraction gk penting.. we're all naturally bound to that lah)
Tapi ya pokoknya hobi/style gtu2 yg bisa bikin gw "kepincut"... tapi beyond that.. kyknya sih "koneksi emosional" yg lbi berpengaruh lg. More to do with how the two perceive and feel things. It's like i found myself feeling something reaaaaly deep to a few people yg padahal hobby etc-nya gk bgitu mirip or g mirip sama sekali haha. I think ill take someone who shows her true colours over someone who pretends to like something to attract, anytime
Trus beyond that lagi in this "pasangan" thing ada "koneksi spiritual" juga i figured. Klo yg ini gw gk bisa jelasin dan nggak ngerti sama sekali hahaha.
Sori jawabannya ke stretch-out. Who am i to write a lot about this when currently i'm kinda out of luck in the subject -_- huahua
Do you play any online games?
hihihihi yg mana aja bole
mz andra :')
ha.. halo mz... ini bossku yg mana ya? :^)
have you ever love someone so much it hurts? Well I have and it hurts so much that I can't breathe. What should I do? :(
yes. haha yea I couldn't live properly either but I really don't want to blame that love for any bad/weird decisions (because in the end we can't blame anything anyway)... especially the fact that it's one filled more with delusions and longing more than actual closeness.
I don't know what's best for you but I did paint, I did write, I did danced, I did acted out, I did sang..and how I did sang... I sang about her, I sang about masks, I sang about walls, I sang about the circle and most recently I sang about "time" itself.. I sang about everything really haha. it's all there. and it's all beautiful. and I guess I still live and function til this day because of the capability to express that heavy love in those ways.
"if it's not for you than this love is for everyone" is a recent key sentence that's been looping in my head lately. and I really hope this love could reach out to the souls that need to feel it. of course mainly art will always still be about saving oneself.. but yea with all due respect to my viciously "indie" idealism LOL I can't deny the fact that I have this kind of thought too.... can't deny the fact that I stared at a Blur -Tender live in glastonbury video, with all those crowds singing along their hearts out.. and thought: "hey this green field of life and love that's bubbling and expanding inside me is THAT heavy and vast.. when can it be "released"???" hahahahahah
I will always have open arms for that special "place" if its ever opened its doors for me again and answers the unanswered questions that made me soooo confused and lost.. but I've been trying my best to detach that place from other potential loves.. that probably needs me more anyway. and of course all my 3 eyes are starting to look out for new love that could really be
I can only say live on and appreciate the other magic that's in your way! I'm trying my best too!!
kamu 28 April ? sama dongg :3
yay sama! (walaupun gk tau ini syp haha)
kita juga samaan ama Harper Lee, Saddam (lol..), Kim Gordon & Jorge Garcia (pictured)
I'm sure you've heard of this saying that we are created in the image of our maker. So there's no way of telling if we were only our maker's sims, that our consciousness is real, right? I doubt this a lot. If we can play god, then why can't "others"?
w..we are jejune stars ;)
[this is a Bright Eyes-influenced automatic answer for cosmic questions that I'm not sure how to answer lololol]
would you rather be fuckzoned or friendzoned? lulz
f...f..friendzoned i think. lulz. i dunno.. fuckzoning seems like the darker beast definitely
despite how nihilistic the world can make me feel I think at the end of the day I'm more "human".. and a feelsy one at that, so yea
was lurking on your ask below, "do you think that the solution to mankinds suffering is love?"
I think that the solution and ROOT of mankind's suffering is love. There is no greater suffering than the one love caused hahahaha what do you think?
hahaha the reason i wrote "it's a tough subject for me to really answer right now" and "yin yang all that" for that question was because my situation at the time definitely put me in the same mindset for love as yours right now lol..
but I really.. still can't discuss this fully right now hahahah... I feel like you can neither say it's the root or solution.. this.. word "love" is too big to be seen in that way. it's nothing and everything
yep we've talked in person and did something together before haha :)
hmm.. someone pops on my mind :p but of course I can't be too sure
insom o o o
o o o sama gk tidur jg sih tadi
nah its ok. glad i made your morning :) idk i always had this crush even more so when talking to you, but you seemed closed to the idea so i never initiated anything :')
I'm curious, have you ever talked to me in person? or just online? haha
hmm a few girls who were kinda close to me, and I still care about til now to some extent, actually approached me or initiated something first, so I do appreciate that kind of openness/confidence :)
oooo papaaaa oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo memang you papa ternyata capable of liking cewe ooooooooooooo siapa sih cwenya oooo liat doong ooooooo
ôöòóōõoooooooooo bobo gih nak omg uda mo jam 4 kok begdang
kak andra aku ngefans sejak di global :') ada pikiran utk dating sm salah satu fans2 kakak?
i guess it's possible. I mean whatever it is about me yg bikin "ngefans" kan artinya there might be some kind of common ground.. or mindset/compatibility or i dunno.. haha.
hey thx for speaking out walaupun anonymous. feeling dark, insecure and (in da love department) lonely a lot lately. this made my morning :)
OOOOOO kira kira papa mau mama baru anak siapa?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I seriously don't know kid, pray for dad HAHAHAHA
cuz it's like calon2 mama (I'm SORRY to refer to yall that way.. MUST keep father-daughter roleplay with Natasha Estelle hahahah) yg paling nempel di kepala ituu...
1. [not currently connected].. can't say more than that... in fear of wrong perception of the whole thing between us. basically i don't understand. yang pasti banyak unanswered questions and a chance for us to just meet and sit and talk about it is probs everything to me. will try to not have any big expectations other than hoping it's cool between us. lol.
2. [just friends].. and despite of what I have truthfully expressed in my art or whatever.. I begin to think that it might really be for the best to try to keep it that way. I am terribly afraid that if I keep pushing for more it could ruin our friendship. I really wanna keep it :)
3. [currently not in contact out of a time and place thing].. but yeah if there's a chance to hang I really wanna know if there could be something more we can grow ;)
so gtu nak gk ada yg pasti sih.. so it could be a wise choice to open my eyes and open a new page in the search of "mama baru anak" lol
(taik ah tash kok gw jawab pertanyaan lo jadi serius bgt HAHAHAHAHAHHA)
lah anak memilih untuk jomblo kok :")
iya gapapa ooo anak sori papa marah2 klo anak sih papa ijinin kok single, udah gede boleh menjalani hidup sesuka hati.
tapi klo papa lumayan lagi #feelsy soal ini OOOO enak kan klo anak ada mamanya HAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAH
papah lagi demen sama cewe ga pah? apa papah agak demen sama cowo juga? kenapa papa memilih untuk jomblo?
- urrrgh tau ah
- papa straight. serius
- papa nggak "memilih" untuk jomblo. anak jahat bgt ngomong gitu ama papanya :'(
boleh minta follback?
Udah pernah pacaran brp kali?
kalo diitung this brief "relationship" i had pas SMA mungkin pernah 1 kali ya? tapi dari sudut pandang lain bisa 0 juga sih lol. tau ah
rly tho im the type of #feels guy yg bner2 cherish "intimate moments" with the people I love or "sayang".. and i feel like there are quite a few girls who are important to me and inspire me that i've shared those kind of moments with. i am forever thankful for their time. so even tho in a traditional sense kurang berpengalaman "pacaran" maybe.. i dunno.. nevermind susah jelasinnya haha
ps. i luv ya'll. ya'll shine in your own ways :p
post-ps. FOR TEH LULZ ~CURRENT ATTRACTION STATUS CHART~ (as of 1st of february 2014):
SUKA: BANYAK. gw udh gila... :+)
SAYANG: 1? but.... hrmpph -_- .. and well maybe more sih if counting some others floating in my mind
CINTA: 0. sempet ada yg legendaris. but life goes on.
What if the universe just "naturally" expands? Does that seems like an easy way to answer it? Or the small details can lead to a more "big picture" stuffs?
w..we are jejune stars :)
What does "genuine" art means to you and what's the process behind your every art creations?
genuine art for me could be either of these two:
1. something that comes straight from your heart, I guess it's something that you need to let out/shout out to save yourself.
2. something from the world that is channeled through you. Suddenly there's an urge.. It could feel as if you're possessed and you are creating something bigger than yourself. the "art" is using you to "be". Sometimes you would discover what the art really means AFTER the art is done
the process is different for each work, but usually for all of them I do like to imagine that the piece, whether it be a piece of writing or a melody or a painting or whatever.. to have a "destined shape" already.. so I don't feel like giving birth to something new but I'm making something that's SUPPOSED to be there and it's my job to get that work of art to its rightful shape.. so again it's a bit of "channeling" going on. I remember that one time in high school my bandmates had a bit of a laugh because I said something in the lines of "hmmm MAYBE (jangan-jangan) the lyrics/melody is like this".. but yea that's just how it works haha.
Kangen Gendra ga? sedeket apa hubungan kalian berdua. Gendra jago bikin lagu ya! Pernah mimpiin dia ga?
dulu pas kecil deket banget! it's usually us 4: gendra, gw, his brother aga and my brother fadi, (in order from youngest to oldest, bedanya setahun-setahun). inget bgt kemana2 bareng gtu and we shared a lotta fun times together. the most memorable moments are the ones involving nintendo/xbox games and that little four-way lego table i had at home. each of us used to make our own "base"/"society" using all the lego pieces yg dikumpulin ditengah2 mejanya, trus ya i think we just played around and do battles and shit haha. fadi's base always seemed scientific, kyk futuristic gtu and bosnya pake karakter yg alien. aga's base klo gk salah intinya "keren" gtu lego pplnya banyak yg pake topi n kacamata item hahahahahahaha. my base themenya pasti pake pieces lego yg "adventure" gtu..kek egypt2 gtu and bosnya pake lego mumi pharaoh (lel dari dulu sok mistik) and klo base gendra seinget gw gk ada karakteristik specialnya, pokoknya random and santai/simple aj gtu gk dipikirin lolololol. not sure why im explaining the lego thing in detail but i guess lumayan illustrate our connection and his character a bit right? haha
anyway.. i guess i can't lie that towards his death gw udh gk sedeket itu lg ama gendra. kerasa bgt kyknya lumayan ada distance between us 4... udh ada own friends and own worlds etc. in family gatherings gendra seemed quite and deep in thought.. but in my knowledge sih he was more open and rly close to his friends so i didn't worry much. i mean til now i have no idea tepatnya siapa the girl/girls that he sang about in his songs loll. honestly i would like to know and maybe chat with em about gendra HAHA. but yea at those last months of his life i really cant know for sure what he's going thru other than from his wise/psychedelic tweets (twitter.com/gendra_) and what is said in his songs.
yea i guess even though gk deket..we bonded thru art and music those days. i was studying in brighton and i noticed thru the internet that he was really busy with da great Noises by GAP project (noisesbygap.bandcamp.com) :) and i fully spported that! yup you're right, he's a great songwriter!! sampe sekarang masih suka amazed that gendra came up with those songs. i listened to everything he put out and was inspired to make the artworks..and well yea.. i guess that was the main bridge i had with him. he was really putting his soul out there thru his art and even tho we were not that close anymore.. i felt a deep kinship with him... u kno me with my Green of Life, i felt that passion. im well aware how much it meant for him, so... "Noises by gap", "what it meant to him" and "how i felt that it needed to be heard" were the first things i told my mom upon hearing about gendra's death... and after my mom told his mom about it.. im really glad that she took the right steps to release his album for a bigger audience! :)
soal mimpi... pernah a few times.. tapi susah jelasinnya karna mimpi2 gw lumayan surreal and abstrak biasanya haha.. um pokoknya yg pa