Aww ask.fm has a new evil king!
F.Y.I I wanted @naeyte
to take that name for all you faggots that like to bitch, I actually asked him to cause everyone associates it with extremely dark humour from someone with intelligence who really doesn't give a fuck what anyone thinks! This website is so fucking boring that you all need a shining beacon of darkness to depress you and Nate is most definitely the leader in that department.
You're my favourite ask.fm account man and even though I don't use this site anymore I still log on to see what you have said cause you always make my day, we have exactly the same humour and I'm so glad that you've become so popular so fast... because you deserve it and it restores my faith in our generations ability to lighten the fuck up sometimes and stop cutting because someone called it fat!
You are the new king man! Here to rule the next generation of attention seeking half-wits that pop up on ask looking for sympathy to validate their existence, always remind them how worthless they are pmsl.
Seriously love you man, can remember the first time I saw your ask and legit sat for 45 minutes with tears rolling down my face at the shit you were saying. You're ruthless, smart, conniving, creative and you lead Instead of follow, as far as I'm concerned you are the best person on this site by a mile!
Ask would be dead without you!
This will be my last ever post on this account!
All hail the new King!
You're so rude and a constant liar! You need to stop!
How dare you tell the truth about me, that's so hurtful.
You're so hot! I guess most people on here think you're a prick, but you're not, you're hilarious hahaa :D x
GUESS WHO GOT HIS OLD ACCOUNT BACK??
IS BACK BABY!
I fucking love you omfg<3333 MARRY ME?
selfie? cause youre perfect<3
Followed you bby x
I might change my name to 'The Peasant'
pmsl you got suspended HAHAHAHAHAHAH so happy rn, all the likes/gifts are gone now :/ good luck with the new account fgt
This is the problem with you faggots. You think that likes define popularity... They don't!
Loads of people on ask use like and question bots to get automatic likes that make them look popular when in reality no one gives a fuck.
All you have to do is upload a downsyndrome sister, an lol your dad died and a picture of your tattoo from when your brother beat cancer and you will have 100k likes within a day.
That's not popularity, that's conning people into giving you likes when they don't even follow or care about you.
The most important thing is loyal followers and I have that, I don't give 2 fucks about likes or gifts because those people will stay with me no matter what and they will all follow me onto this account because I'm funny, a massive attention seeker and I don't bore you all with Beggy answers.... That's priceless, people like nawar (or whatever the fuck his name is) will never have that. That kid has 200k likes and yet not an ounce of respect.
The fact that you even sent me this just proves you're one of those losers that sits and watches their likes counter. People will follow me on this account because I am the exact opposite of that.
It's a fucking website... 500k likes and 100 gifts weren't gonna get me anywhere in life so LOL @ YOU faggot!
you are a liar about everything first you said you were 14.
I am 14, transsexual and bipolar. I self harm for attention and I'm bisexual although I've never ever kissed a girl and never want to cuz eww.
This is my new account!
So far I follow...
Clayton (no point putting his new account down cause it will be suspended anyway)
I can't remember everyone's user names so like this and I'll go through the list and follow you.
What crimes deserve the death penalty?
how do you kiss?
I look into her eyes for a few seconds, the eye contact is super important because she can spot the desire in my stare, i then move closer while keeping direct contact with her eyes, put my hands around her waist and press my lips against hers very gently with my mouth open only slightly.
i use the very tip of my tongue to keep my lips moist as i kiss her top lip and then her bottom lip, gently using a sucking motion to pull her lip into my mouth ever so slightly. As her lip gets pulled into the centre of my mouth i caress it with the very tip of my tongue to arouse the nerve endings in her mouth.
As her lips begin to tingle and she feels the warmth from the inside of my mouth...
I stick my entire tongue in and kiss her like a washing machine, all slabbery and gross, practically washing her teeth with my tongue while she gags on the total invasion of her mouth.
Then I wonder why girls never call me back
20 ways to get a girl to like you
1. Pretend you're just out of a bad break up and your heart needs mended *sympathy vote*
2. Pretend that you have other girls chasing you but you only have eyes for her *lies*
3. Pretend you know the difference between an ugg boot and them other furry things they wear as slippers
4. Pretend you enjoy shopping
5. Pretend you enjoy talking about feelings
6. Pretend you enjoy talking about feelings whilst in a shopping centre
7. Ask her every day if she got her hair done, that way when she does get it done it will look like u noticed
8. When she asks for your opinion make sure it is always exactly the same as hers.
9. When she asks 'does my bum look big in this?', always tell her no even if it is fucking massive
10. When looking at another girls breasts pretend you were looking at her jacket cause u like fashion
11. Tell her you actually enjoyed the notebook
12. Pretend you don't like porn because it objectifies women
13. Tell her you find babies really cute even tho they all look exactly the same to you
14. Pretend that it doesn't bother you when her boobs leave stretch marks in your favourite tshirt
15. Act like you enjoy that bullshit teenybopper music she is into
16. Never let her know that you fancy her sister, and her mum a little too
17. Don't get angry when she says she isn't hungry and then tears into your dinner like a pig
18. Tell her your female friends are all lesbian
19. Stay out of her way once a month, those few days when she is a spotty and angry bitch
20. If you can't be a good boyfriend, at least be a fucking good liar
What do girls think when they're on their period?
I want to kill you
I want to kill you
I want to kill you
I want to kill you
I want to kill you with food
I want to throw food at you until you die
I would like to see you in pain!
Don't breathe it's annoying me
It's not my hormones it's your existence that bothers me
DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!
I hate boys they get it so easy
OMG I'm so fucking fat
I'll kill you first.... then eat
What am I pissed off at you for? I need to think of something I can be angry about
I know.... 2 YEARS AGO YOU WERE 5 MINUTES LATE PICKING ME UP
No I'm not being unreasonable
I want food
Bed and food
A bed made of food
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH I FUCKING HATE YOU
I'm not grumpy, if you would only breath less i would be fine
You're an idiot
I'm fat :(((((((((((((((
I hate you I hate you
Fat fat food fat fucking hate fattening food
Why do we get these things anyway????
Fuck you for being born
Oh I need to change my tampon
DON'T YOU BE NICE TO ME.... I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND IT WON'T WORK
I want cake
WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? GET BACK HERE!!
This is all your fault
awkward boner story
Myself and 6 friends went to Dublin for the weekend and when we were leaving to come home one of the cars broke down and had to be towed back to Belfast. So being crazy and also too poor to buy train tickets we all piled into the one working car which meant that 2 people had to sit on someone’s lap.
My friend Jack and his cousin Jessica drew the short straw and I ended up with Jessica (who I hardly even knew) sitting on my lap for the rest of the ride home.
Driving along the motorway wasn't a problem because the road is so smooth but as soon as we left the motorway for the bumpy country roads in Belfast that’s when the trouble started.
Idk what happened but driving at 60mph over bumpy roads just made this girl bounce up and down a bit more than she should and I could feel myself getting an erection. I asked my friend Steven to pull over so I could take a piss but he said no because we were only 20 minutes from home and it was getting late.
I could literally feel the blood drain from me because I couldn’t even put my hands down to manoeuvre the massive boner I was getting so I came up with a plan. I told Jessica that the lighter in my pocket was hurting my leg because she was sitting on it and asked her if she could move a bit so I could get it. She pulled herself up and I stuck my hand down my trousers and pushed my erect penis between my legs and then closed them tightly.
However, that only did the trick for a few minutes as the bouncing continued and eventually Mr Erection could no longer be contained. I literally felt my life flash before my eyes as the boner broke free from my legs, rose straight up and poked her hard in the ass.
She turned around to me and said 'did you not take that lighter out of your pocket because I can feel it digging into me now too?'
I tried to tell her that I hadn't taken it out and that it was indeed the lighter she felt but my bright red face gave me away, she knew straight away what was digging into her cause I saw the look of pure horror on her face.
She turned around and faced the front and it was the most embarrassing experience ever because we had to sit there like that for another 20 minutes with my boner poking against her, neither of us wanting to cause a scene in front of our friends because we were both so mortified.
Needless to say Jessica never came on another trip with us and any time I see her I literally cross the street to avoid bumping into her. Although in fairness I don’t think she is keen on seeing me again anyway…… ever since I accidentally dry humped her in a car full of people.
20 things you don't like about Great Britain
1. Girls with orange make up
2. Jeremy Kyle
3. Girls with orange make up on Jeremy Kyle
4. Girls having kids at 14
5. Chavs with bad teeth
6. Girls having kids at 14 to chavs with bad teeth
7. Girls at 14 on Jeremy Kyle having paternity tests to see which chav with bad teeth is the father
8. British weather
9. Walking asbos
10. Walking asbos shoplifting in British weather
11. Walking asbos on Jeremy Kyle because they were caught shoplifting in British weather
12. Having to stay indoors and watch walking asbos on Jeremy Kyle because of the fucking British weather
13. Benefit scroungers with 10 kids
14. Benefit scroungers with 10 kids who all have asbos
15. Benefit scroungers with 10 kids who have asbos, orange make up and chav boyfriends with bad teeth
16. Benefit scroungers with 10 kids, asbos, orange make up and chav boyfriends on Jeremy Kyle
17. The Go Compare man
18. The Go Compare man advert when Jeremy Kyle is taking an ad break
19. The Go Compare man advert being less annoying than the chavs with orange make up on Jeremy Kyle
20. Chavs with orange make up sitting at home with their toothless boyfriends collecting benefits and watching paternity tests on Jeremy Kyle because they would rather be benefit scroungers with 10 kids than go out and get a job
what do girls think about?
Oh he's cute I wonder if he has a girlfriend
Actually he is too well dressed so probs gay
Her make up is so orange
She's a slut
He still hasn't called me
Why hasn't he called?
He doesn't show me enough attention
Maybe he is seeing someone else?
Ooh 20% off all shoes
I'm so hungry
Would love a McDonald's
No think of the calories
Have a piece of lettuce instead
He still hasn't called
Ill just look in this shop even tho I was in it yesterday
Oh my phones ringing
Ill just let it ring and make him think I don't care
That's a pretty dress I wonder where she got it
How long do I let it ring for
urgh I'm so hungry, fuck lettuce I'm off to McDonald's
OMG it's stopped ringing
If he cared enough he would have let it ring longer
OMG what am I gonna? He doesn't like me
SALE!!!!! OMG I wonder if the coat I want is in it
Nice skirt love but not with those tree trunks
Will I call him??
OMG look how orange you are, someone sort her makeup out
Ill just call him now
But then he will think I'm needy
I wonder if I have lost any weight
I know... ill go to McDonald's now and then starve myself tomorrow
Please call me back
Give me a sob story
Well when I was born I was bullied by the other babies, every time I cried they mimicked me and started to cry too.
When I was 3 my great aunts step sisters driving instructor died and I started to self harm
I cut myself with a wooden spoon; I tried a knife but it hurt too much so I just stuck to the spoon
When I was 5 my mum and her lesbian life partner both passed away from catching the cold
When I was 7 I got raped by a bunch of dwarves and became pregnant with my first child shiquanda
when I was 9 my dad fell down one stair and died.
When I was 10 the dwarves came back and gang raped me at the needle exchange and I got HIV.
When I was 11 my mum died two more times plus my nan shit herself in Primark
When I was 12 I got an f in my exam and was so upset that I killed myself
When I was 13 someone called me a slut so I had sex with them to prove I wasn't and got pregnant again
When I was 14 my dads ghost came back and molested me and I had a miscarriage
When I was 15 I used the wooden spoon and cut both my arms off, then overdosed on vitamin e tablets
when I was 16 I had to leave school cause shiquanda was pregnant and I was gonna be a granny
when I was 17 someone called be a benefit scrounging slut so I cut my head off and died
When I was 18 I found one direction and they turned my life around, I am no longer as slutty (only on weekends) and shiquanda is pregnant with her second child.
I have had a really hard life so please feel sorry for me and like this question to make me feel better. I promise ill kill myself again If you don't press that like button and then shiquanda and her two kids Justin and Selena will have no one to look after them.
Do you want that on your conscience?
I'm not a like whore, this is all true.