Cat

Hi, dear, sorry for my very late reply. I haven't had any questions on here before so I didn't I had a message. I actually understand exactly how you feel. I have a very difficult time trusting people as well and letting people into my inner self. I really respect you that you want to and are willing to change and wanting to open up to and get closer to your friends, that's awesome!

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Honestly, because I personally struggle with this, too, it's difficult for me to give you sure advice, but I hope that we can both work through this together, alright? :-) Though I have a hard time trusting people, I still have a few very close friends who have been around in my life for a long time, and oftentimes, length in friendship is the foundation of trust. Look, you said you love your friends, and if you love them, then your love has trust within it already. If you love them, then I am sure they love you right back, and I am sure that they would not want to ever use something you told them against them. It's difficult to know for sure, but trust is risk. Perhaps you've had a bad experience in the past (I have), and that's what makes it harder for you, but don't feel the need to express all of your inner thoughts all at the same time.

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Try to tell them something little, one at a time, and in time, you will be able to build the trust you want to have in your friends over time. It sounds a little strange to say, but honestly in my opinion, a lot of the time trust can be tested and assured, and going little by little, then you will realize that perhaps they are people you can trust with larger things, such as deeper and more personal inner thoughts, as you've expressed.

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I hope that you're able to open your heart a little more, and I wish you the best of luck. I'll be right next to you trying to do the same. Good luck and have a good rest of your week. Xx

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hello, dear! I’d suggest trying to pinpoint exactly what’s bothering you about her — hang out with her and see what things bother you, and then from there you can see what you want to do about it.

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If it’s something big, then I suggest you talk to her about it and see if there’s any resolution you two can come up with, but if it’s something small, then maybe you can try and brush it off a little easier.

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If things are really bad though, and you end up really disliking her, there’s nothing wrong with giving yourself and her a little bit of distance, okay! Don’t start a fight, or something, but you’re entitled to your own happiness and you should be able to do whatever you have to do to get it, and that includes distance, if necessary!

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Wishing you lots of luck with you and your friend and hope you’re happy in the end, whatever your decision/conclusion may be! X

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I’m going to give you some tough love here.

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The universe does not hate you. The universe is yours, and only you are in control of your own happiness and well-being. Who says whatever you’re doing isn’t good enough? If it’s other people, then who cares what they think? If it’s yourself, well then let me tell you something, okay: whatever you’re doing is enough as long as you say so, as long as you believe so. Sure, you may try and try at things and they might not be what the expect, but you tried. That’s something to be proud of, and that’s something that you should be smiling about. It’s definitely hard to get up sometimes, though, and I get that. But don’t let it get you down all the time, okay?

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and don’t you ever wish you could just vanish! You have people who love you and people who care about you, and I am sure they are more than willing to give you chance after chance to try again at whatever you’re working on, and I think that you owe it to yourself to do that, too —

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Look, sweetheart, I don’t want to come off as rude at all, because I can see you’re in a tough spot right now, but I went through the same things when I was younger, too, and I wish someone kicked my ass to get up, and so that’s what I’m going to do for you. I’m here for you, and I care about you, but you cannot have this mentality if you want to be better and get better, okay! :-) You have to be determined and dedicated to working on yourself, and that means that you have to get up and keep trying every single time you fail.

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Don’t waste your time feeling sorry for yourself when you could be using that time to get up and try again. Life is a progress, and there will always be things we need to work on in life (for example, I’m trying to work on my sleeping schedule and I fail basically every night), but even though it’s hard, that’s the best part about it.

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You got this, alright? You have to set your sights on what you want to do, and get up and do it. There is only so much I can say and only so much I can suggest for you to do, but at the end of the day it’s up to you, okay?

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*PATS U ON THE BUTT* You go and get them, okay, and then come back and tell me how much you kicked ass and not how much you want to vanish. Happy thoughts, happy vibes, and happy results. You got this! Good luck. X

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