Ask @AchronTimeless:

Do you trust your government?

It's January 2017. A man who lost the election by nearly 3 million votes is currently our president. Trust is impossible at this point.

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What do you value the most in your life?

I used to value living in a free democracy, but that's obviously gone now. We The People did not elect this clown. We in fact overwhelmingly voted for his opponent, yet here we are.
We stand at the precipice, gazing into the abyss. Let's hope the water feels nice.

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If you run away from your problems, does it count as exercise?

Yes, but only an exercise in futility

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Continue with a rhyme: "From my window I can see…"

From my window I can see a world that would have less of me,
A world obsessed between my legs and with those whom I lay in beds,
The cruelest joke where to be free it matters most just where I pee,
And for that world my one regret that cleansing flame won't happen yet.

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What's the worst advice you've ever taken?

"Don't worry, it'll be ok. Things have to get better right?"
Nope, they always got worse except for brief moments of respite just long enough to cruelly offer hope.

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What associations do you have with the word "circus"?

As a child it was all about the animals. The two were intrinsically linked for me. As an adult I really couldn't care less about seeing animals at a circus, and if they come to mind at all it's in the context of whether they're being properly taken care of after the scandals of the past. Now it's about the performance of the people involved in the show more than anything else to me.

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How many pillows do you sleep with?

Usually just 2, one to lay my head on and one that takes various roles through the night either blocking light or supporting other parts of my body that might be uncomfortable at that moment. Though if I had my way, I'd turn my bed into something in-between a pillow fort and a nest.

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Are there any brands or companies that you boycott? Why do you refuse to do business with them?

Chick-Fil-A and Hobby Lobby. They both have claimed that their corporations in and of themselves have religious beliefs, Hobby Lobby unfortunately getting an insane SCOTUS ruling that agreed with them on this matter. They use these "beliefs" to deny women health care, to make life hell for LGBT employees while just baaarely skating past any legal protections they may have, and in the case of Chick-Fil-A openly donating profits from the company towards campaigns aimed at preventing gay people the right to marriage which they were guaranteed to have under the 14th Amendment. It's not just that they're discriminatory companies, it's that they conflate the religion of their owner with the company itself somehow becoming sentient and having its own beliefs. It muddies the legal waters, which was the intent, and makes it difficult to protect people's rights in this country. I refuse to give them a single cent that they would use to continue those behaviors.

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Who is the most flawless women alive?

The grammar on this question is making me twitch. Who *are* the most flawless women alive? Who is the most flawless *woman* alive? It's like you couldn't make up your mind and tried to ask both at the same time. Aside from that, everyone has flaws. This whole thing was just a train wreck.

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Do you find yourself thinking more about your past, present or future?

Lately, my future. Mostly with dread. With the current political climate I'm quite reasonably worried about the future. When the incoming VP is practically overjoyed at declaring they'll start intentionally dismantling protections on my rights that are relatively recent developments, I think it's only natural to be focused on that terrible future barreling towards me.

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Is global warming real? What do you think will happen?

Of course it's real, and there are mountains of data to back that up. The real debate is about how bad its going to be. Rising sea levels are the least of our worries. Once permafrost melts and trapped methane is released we'll be begging for the days when CO2 was our biggest fear. There are even fears that the grand "Ocean Conveyor Belt" thermal system which drives a lot of our weather patterns could completely stop working the way it does now. What happens then? No one knows, it's never happened before in human history. We might have broken the planet that badly, and the worst part is even if we stopped now the effects of what we've already done won't finish playing out for another hundred years or more.

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Do you trust your friends?

Mostly, though I have a history of close friends suddenly turning on me without warning or provocation.

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How long do you need to sleep to be in good shape?

Depends on the day. Some days a mere 4 hours will do the trick. Other days 12 hours doesn't feel like enough.

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What can you think about for hours?

Fish, apparently. Though that has a lot to do with an AI swarming algorithm I'm working with.

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Do you prefer vintage or new?

Depends on what it is. A vintage cell phone? No way in hell. A vintage drill press that's actually made out of solid metal instead of mostly plastic? Properly maintained it'll outlive me. So my measure is one of quality and usefulness. If the new thing is better, I'll prefer it. If the old thing is better, I'll prefer it instead.

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How are unicorns made?

A mommy unicorn and a daddy unicorn love each other very much, then they go to the store and buy some glue and an icecream cone for when their baby is born.

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What's the most awkward thing you can say in an elevator?

That's very nice skin you're wearing. Is it yours?

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Whose brain would you want to live in for a day?

Why would I want to be someone's fractured secondary personality? I'll stay in this brain where I'm the only one, thanks.

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What do you think about vegetarians?

I honestly don't think about them. The same way I don't think about the gayness of gay friends. It's just who they are. Now, the moment a vegetarian forces me to think about them, announcing within 5 minutes of meeting them that they're vegetarian or vegan or whatever the version is where they can still eat fish and start belittling everyone else for their own diet, then I strongly dislike them. Not because they're vegetarian, but because they're terrible as a person.

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What makes you feel like a boss?

I guess having employees?

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What’s one mistake you keep repeating?

Not walking away when I know it's over. I have too much faith in people and I put everything I have into them. You can't cut pieces off of yourself to fill in the holes in others.

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Can you sum up your day so far in just one word?

Cold

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Do you remember life without technology? What was it like?

From the moment our first ancestors picked up a stick and used it as a crude tool, technology has existed. There is no one alive that remembers a time without technology. The steam engine, the radio, the airplane. These all changed the world long before even the telephone or the first room sized computers. So, basically what technology are you referring to? In the last 5 years there are new things that just simply didn't exist before.
So let's pick a simple thing, the modern cell phone. Before the smartphone, you'd have to carry a PDA such as a Palm Pilot as well as a basic cell phone. If you wanted music, then you'd carry around a separate MP3 player. A bit before that it would've been a Diskman and a cell phone, but you likely wouldn't have had the PDA. Not very long before that you would've just had the Diskman because cell phones were ridiculously expensive and even more ridiculously huge, often carried in a bag that contained the phone and the large battery for it. So even if you ask if I remember life before cell phones, I'd ask in return "which ones?"

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Do you prefer Instagram or Facebook?

They're both sites where you pretend your life is better than it really is by selectively sharing only the best highlights. Then others feel depressed that everyone's life is so much better than theirs and they feel the need to fake their own lives online to fit in. It's just misery all around. At least facebook works as a platform for communication with various groups better than a picture sharing site can.

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Give us your best ALPACA pun

Hungry? Alpaca lunch for you.

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About Achron Timeless:

I am a hyper intelligent female lab mouse that pretends to be a human on the internet.