I am moving on with time, I am trying to learn how to forget what's done and go forward by avoiding past mistakes. We humans are weak, even if we don't agree but it's the truth, we have so many weaknesses. When I joined social media and started to learn more about immoral modernity, I couldn't resist asking each person, who was into it, to stop doing what they were doing. I tried to win with arguments and logics. I failed most of the times, many of them blocked me, but I didn't stop till I found that my methods are not working. It was a natural act, it became, and it still has become my nature to do my best to help someone improve even if they hate me for that. I felt bad then, like too much bad, that's why I wanted to satisfy my inner self by helping them, I had to calm my conscious down.

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Everyday, I try to adapt more ways of the world, I'm trying to be strong, I'm trying to be ignorant and heartless. It really makes me feel bad for days when I learn that some injustice occurred with someone, it makes me weak and feel low, with such feelings I'm unable to perform my duties. That's why I'm trying to evolve like everyone else, of course they would've been much like me once, but they evolved, maybe they had to, but I'm stuck. I'm not sure if it's an improvement or deterioration, but it's required to survive into this pathetic world. I write when I'm confused, upset, mad, sad, emotional, thoughtful, spiritual or angry. Sometimes I'm inspiring, and sometimes I'm not. I have improved a lot, learned how to ignore small wrongdoings and sins of our society, understood to not always try to change the world as people seem all fit to it.

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You may find some sarcasm in my talking, but this post is not just for public, this is for me, I have questions in my mind which are already answered but haven't been acceptable by my heart till now. I intend to help myself with it.

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These days all I'm seeing is destructive news on every news channel, every site and online media agency. I'm just a simple human who wants to help people to live this life and the hereafter, but it feels sad to say that it's impossible on most of the stages as I'm not having much authority or adequate platform to carry out my deterministic tasks. The whole world is on the level where everybody knows everything but there are no actions being taken over them, everyone is still, only powerful ones are in the play, rest can't do any constructive activity. When I hear about a terrible incident, I feel sad how heartless a human can be, how cruelly he can think of someone else. My whole thoughts are tangled sometimes with gloom.

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This won't calm my conscious and qualm but still it is to say that I do my best, whatever I can do with my all reaches and current resources, to help and protect people, to help them in any advantageous way possible, I try applying any possible mean. I wish I could do something for Syria, for Pakistan, for humans of every region and land, but sadly it's true that one man can't do all the good and to all the people, because no matter how powerful or determinant a man is, he'll always be a human, he won't live forever for reaching every goal. What is above your reach, you should accept it, Allah has created limits, there are reasons behind His actions which we don't know and most of the times can't understand too, but there are, and for betterment. So find relief in faith.

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Of course it's difficult to optimistically say that I'll stay happy or be having a good time after knowing about... (Read the left part of this post by https://www.facebook.com/ahmednorthowed/posts/1586910004762267 because word-limit reached)

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I think that I'll also have to learn how to lie, how to cheat and be dishonest, how to be tricky with people, how to ignore someone, how to make commitments and not fulfill them, how to be sweet from outside and opposite from the inside, how to play family politics, how to stay silent on injustice, how to be sweet with people when I need their help, how to exclude people from my life who I don't need anymore, how to be selfish, how to take advantage of others' situation, how to use one's depression into my own advantage, etc. I'll probably have to learn many things to survive in this cheap world!

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I've seen and met people with such skills, a normal person wouldn't be able to judge them without getting deceived thrice in a row, people have evolved so much with time. Of course I'm not admiring such people, I'm talking about the reality, the way people live, the way they prefer to be called clever due to these tactics, they think deception is an art and skill. They're wrong, this is a temporary world, everyone will be accountable for what they do on the day of resurrection (Akhirah), better to prepare now!

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Warning for parents:

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It's almost very easy to carry out immoral acts online, everything is just a click away. Parents don't even bother to keep a check on their children, they're not aware of the kind of activities that are being carried out online, they don't know what their sons are doing, they don't know what their daughters have been doing, everyone is free. I don't think that any parent will be reading this, this was actually their responsibility to guide and keep a watch on their children as they must be immature and could fall for things which would be harmful for them, Islam says that it's parents' duty to educate their children, this kinda education is far different than what we get from institutes.

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Such people who perform immoral acts online, may God never allow them to marry a decent person, a person who stayed pure for a pure spouse, the one who has violated in a row doesn't deserve a pure soul. These words may be harsh but it should happen as Quran said that good men are for good women and good women are for good men, in the same way, bad men are for bad women and bad women are for bad men. When someone performs a vulgar act, that cost them their dignity, then there's no way they could have a dignified life ahead.

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I wish I could tell what kind of things the youth is doing online, they're not children anymore, internet educated them in a bad way, they know things which they shouldn't have known. If you want an instance then go to any social media platform where youth is available, see it with your own eyes, there's no culture or constraint for them left. I feel sad for them, but I feel anger for those parents who didn't prove themselves worthy to be a parent, your duty wasn't just to bring them into this world, it was also on you to teach them how to live! Alas!

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I'm not against the working and earning of women, I'm not against their right to go outside alone. The real thing is that a man is afraid to tell or show, it's something not everyone can understand, that we fear. I don't fear women or that if they get to be independent then they will become superior than me, I don't care about that. I fear society, I fear that they will lose the culture completely when they'll start thinking like no one has a right to tell them what to do, the same thing happened in the west, and now we all can see what's the respect of a woman in there. And this is not all, I think women deserve respect, actually every good soul does, I think that it's not their duty to earn for the family, it's onto men actually, that's why I would never want my spouse to work for me, I would want to work myself and provide her everything at her disposal. Most of the people reading this won't be able to understand my point, but actually many men think alike me, that's why they oppose women from earning, it's probably not in a man's nature to express his feelings, specially those related to fear, but they show care even when no one understands it.

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The most important cause of why I don't want women to work or earn and why I fear society is because it's full of filth and dirt, I would never want her to be hurt by someone, I know men, I know many wrong things happen outside, no father takes a risk for his child no matter how skillful or strong the child is, it doesn't mean that he doesn't trust his child, it means that a father doesn't trust the circumstances, the world. Women are precious, they need to be dealt in care and with love, there are bad factors in this deluded world, that's the reason why I would never want a woman to work. (Read the left part of this post via https://www.facebook.com/ahmednorthowed/posts/1576330729153528 because word limit reached).

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West, you have won. On one side, there are Muslims, or some people who call themselves Muslim, fighting against their own religion and culture, hating each other with great strength. And on the other side, there are Non-Muslim countries, even some Muslim countries, killing innocent Muslim civilians all over the globe. No one is raising a voice, no one said anything. But when some blast occurs in USA, France, UK etc, then the world gathers together to console them, even the Muslim-hood. I must say, they have won, their strategy was amazing, our existence is endangered. They're wiping us out one by one, but we are busy in joining rallies as feminists, we are busy to fight for something that some people call as our rights, I'm not sure if someone could get rights while facing injustice. They're stalling us into these matters and we are acting as their little cute puppets, doing as we're told. I hope this post will be one of those messages you ignore. 😒

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Support to my last post (as in picture):

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Many people thought that I'm degrading women's right with those words, but actually I'm an analyst, I often think about life, it's natural, so I thought about the fact that women have someone to earn for them always if they seek help from God and be patient in life. My whole post was based on this point. But right after posting it I started to get numerous comments by people, even from some close family members, that this is wrong and totally hatred for a woman. I was shocked at first, I tried to explain myself, I even re-read the whole post several times for finding any wrongness. But I think there's nothing wrong with it.

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I feel that women nowadays feel shame in thanking men for their hardwork or efforts, men used to do the same, but now women are equal to men on this. So when I wrote in my post to thank the men, they felt anger. When I wrote that post, it didn't mean that I don't see or feel the sacrifices of a woman, it means that I just highlighted one aspect. I could also say that men should thank women for their daily chores, but I intended to talk about just women at that moment. It's a common sense. If I tell you my name then does it mean that I'll have to tell you my address and phone number as well? If I write something about a woman's sacrifice then there are no arguments and total applause, but when I write even a small touching story related to men then there are hate comments ready at my disposal. I thought that maybe it is me who does something wrong, but I think that it's just jealousy by feminists, they have no logics actually.

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(Read the left of the post via this link https://www.facebook.com/ahmednorthowed/photos/a.685368291583114.1073741828.603741996412411/1573708426082425/?type=3 because word limit reached).

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I often think to write something extraordinary, something informative, some research or creativity of life in precise book format. I'm actually a great imaginative story writer, I have been making amazing stories in my mind since my childhood. I have even written a number of content out of it, I derive stuff through imaginations. I intend to write some books to benefit people, I may lack of professional vocabulary and writing senses at the moment, but I have a desire to do it. I thought that I hate books but actually I've always been a great admirer of books and their perpetual knowledge in life. But deep down inside me, a part of me wants to live simple and enjoy than to prepare for earning or collecting more.

Recently I read a great poem by a very popular poet, when an artist reads something he can tell if it's emotion-based or experience one, he can sense and feel the power of it, and honestly I felt it, I am not a popular writer, I'm not so perfect in expressing thoughts or feelings, but I have great thirst for spirituality, this passion of mine is one of the resources of seeking spirituality in my life. That poem expressed the reason why some people prefer to live simple, why they like being alone and weird, they actually don't care if they're alive or dead, they try to be satisfied with what they have, at least they try, they seek forgiveness and help from their God.

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Maybe that's why a part of me wants to (read the left segment of this post by this link https://www.facebook.com/ahmednorthowed/posts/1570338229752778 because word-limit reached).

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Don't give your children too much, don't provide them everything they ask for, they need to learn the formulas of life, they need to understand that you can't get whatever you want in your life, they need to be dealt in strict ways and matters, they need to understand that life is hard. These are some things that parents hesitate to teach their children, they think that it's the time of joy and no strictness, but actually this is the right time to teach them, otherwise when they grow up in soft and comfortable environments thinking that life is going to be full of happiness and pleasures, they fall on the very first steps, it takes a lot of them to learn the reality, but manys don't make up like others, manys don't rise or adopt like others, not everyone is that much powerful.

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So, you may give your children the good time of their life, but remember that without hardness they won't be learning the real way to live and move forward; that's survival. Also, if you give your children a lot, then remember to tell them that they don't deserve any of it, invoke humility and a sense of gratitude in them, tell them to be thankful to their God for such blessings, for anything can be taken away in any glimpse of moment. Save them from being ruined, save them from getting destroyed.

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I want to smile, be happy, enjoy, have friends, do adventure, have some desires, fall in love, laugh, feel good, travel the world, socialize, not have any tensions, be free, be strong, be cool, be positive, be satisfied. I want to be and have many things, I want to live this life nor just be dragged by it, I want to have inspiration and constant spirituality in my life. I'm not sure if I deserve any of this, but it's my need to live.

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By the way, this photo was taken in 2017 while I was trying to sleep, I haven't taken much selfies for the last few months, maybe because I mostly stay alone and not go much outside, I stay at home and don't visit places like others do. Eventually, my accounts are full of bitter and strict content writing than some amazement or spirituality of life, I just display bitter truth, even I'm disturbed by it. I stalk people's accounts, their instagram profiles, they always show such spirituality which I don't get to have, they have something which I seek to get, they have happiness and inspirations, they have love and circles, they may not have everything that they want, but they have many things which I would beg to have. I don't know why have I such sad, disappointed and bitter personality. I envy others when they're happy.

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https://www.instagram.com/p/BgwHa-IHswJ/

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Something is disturbing my peace 😨

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There are some things which are inappropriate to ask, specially in public, but still they pop up in my mind often, sometimes I even confront people with those questions, but it definitely sounds weird and cheap. As an adult, I have a question in my mind, that whether one should stay pure for the right one, or should one try different types to select the best.

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I find it inappropriate and totally immoral, this kind of life pattern about chosing life partners has spreaded all across the world, people even justify this by saying such irrational and immoral things. It's very hard for me, it actually makes me question myself. Why should that be allowed? How can that be allowed? It's not just prohibited by religion, it's also character-less.

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I did some study on this, they call it their culture, it's like normal for them, it doesn't bother them, it doesn't bother them if their spouse stayed pure or not. I'm saying things in a closed and adequate manner, it's not right to highlight such matters with complete audacity. Still, are they off from all moral restraints? Their culture is being driven everywhere, even Muslim countries, in the name of modernity or freedom or liberalism. I don't know if I am the only one who feels odd about it, maybe everyone has moved forward and accepted this already with their hearts, they may like it.

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Honestly, I am so desperate to have a spiritual, loyal and graceful wife. Someone full of courage and self-esteem, which I completely lack of. But I think it may get impossible in this life, I'd rather stay single and unmarried than to ruin myself with immorality, can't happen on my conscious. (Read the left part of this article by this link https://www.facebook.com/ahmednorthowed/posts/1560462967406971 because word limit reached).

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I wanted good people to join and help me on my mission. There are people who strive for peace, justice and basic islamic culture throughout the world. I wanted them to join me, I wanted all the people of the same interest to gather up and build strength because it's very difficult to deal with everything alone and without support, manys are better than one. I tried to do that, I even know some great people who share a common ground with me, but I became helpless in front of my situation and achieved nothing. Still there's a part of me that tells me to stay calm, while the other one always cries for the innocents and the bad things that are happening around. It becomes sometimes very difficult to control my emotions from coming out, it's not easy for me to show tolerance towards ignorance. When I see people in the society doing immoral things, I feel helpless in the case, there's nothing I can do to right the wrong. Achieving that stage is impossible for a person like me who's afraid to lose balance between the world and the real reason of life, the world is actually a delusion filled with desires that you can't fulfill and disappointments that you will always get. I still remember the person who I were once, I still remember the reflection of that faith and optimism in life, I actually miss that person, but the truth is, he shouldn't ever appear back, the world is not a place for people like him.

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