Life is a distance to cover, I will be the speed and you'll be the time. Let's have this beautiful journey and introduce a new vector to the world. What do you say honey?
I told a fat lady if she was pregnant and before she could answer me i said "omg wait dont tell me..you're 9 months?aweee hope you have a safe labor" LOOOL damn i got slapped into next week. she was just fat.
What do you usually forget?
I always leave the stove on and almost burnt down my house like 12 times but thats ok cuz we live close by the fire department now.
Have you ever got into trouble with the police?
I got pulled over for speeding and the police officer came to my front window and was like "Ma'm do you know why I pulled you over" I replied back with "hmm you're a fat ass and you smelled my Krispy crime donuts all the way from highway 80?"
I would still agree to my first compliment.
Your nose is beautiful -,-