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Hypothetically speaking: if your S.O. lacks passion/drive in figuring out their career, do you remain patient with them, or do you walk away? Do you think people are born with that spark/will to do something? Or... Does it just show up one day? 🤔

Coolio247’s Profile PhotoJustine Coolioness
Well, considering that passion/drive for a career has been something I’ve struggled with with both of my exes now (in polar opposite ways), I think it really depends on the person and what exactly it is they’re missing. My first ex, for example, was totally fine working a minimum wage job and not really doing or trying anything to improve his career despite not being happy with the job he had. That wasn’t ok with me long term because it’s just not feasible to live working part time at a minimum wage job and I want someone who is self sufficient and at least ambitious enough to try working their way up in a company if nothing else, even if the company/job itself isn’t what they want/enjoy.
My most recent ex was the total opposite. He started working where I am now as a foot in for his desired career and then about a year into the job was already looking at other jobs in bigger cities because this one doesn’t pay enough and doesn’t offer enough room for advancement. But he’s *too* ambitious in that now that he’s got 1 year of experience in the field he’s going for all these big time jobs at big name companies and wanting a livable wage for an entry level position in a huge city and basically is kind of like an arrogant ambitious instead of a smart ambitious. And we had talked about “settling” vs “settling down” where I had said I don’t want to spend the rest of my life moving from state to state or city to city in search of better pay every few years, especially if we’re both in a place with pay that provides a comfortable life and he had basically said he can’t promise that he won’t want to keep searching for better options elsewhere. That’s the kind of ambition that (imo) is best suited for someone who doesn’t actually want a long term SO or wants one who is malleable and doesn’t have their own dreams and ambitions.
I think some are born with it and for others it just shows up one day. And for others yet, maybe they don’t have it because of certain extenuating circumstances. As someone who struggles with depression I know how hard it can be to find motivation or interest/passion for things and I think maybe that’s why I’m more understanding of those who maybe don’t have a passion but at least are willing to work toward something. I wouldn’t say I’m passionate about my job, but I do enjoy it and on the good days I also find it gratifying and fulfilling, so I think for me that’s a happy enough medium lol.
So tldr: passion and drive and ambition are all great but as with everything else, to a certain degree. And lack of those can also be worked with to a certain degree, depending on how the person lacking them handles it moving forward.

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If you see a black cat, do you regard it as good luck or bad luck? Why? 😺 👍 😇

redoasis2017’s Profile Photo★ ☮ ♫ tēຖค¢i໐นŞ t໐๓๓คฯ™ ▩ ♚ ☻
I think my mind always hops to the superstition that they’re bad luck just because I’ve heard it so often, but black cats have always been my favorite cats (if I had to pick a cat I like) so personally I’m more so indifferent than anything else. I’m not personally a superstitious person so the immediate thought is mostly a reflex and less an actual thought I personally hold.

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🌈 june is pride month !! if you're comfortable answering, are you LGBTQ+ or know anyone who is? how do you support yourself/them?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
I am not personally but I know a few people who are. One of my best friends in high school ended up marrying another woman, one of my coworkers is trans, one of my cousins is lesbian. I know many others who are LGBTQ+ and while I may not do anything that immediately hops out as supportive (like attending parades/rallies etc), I think accepting and respecting them for who they are as they are and being happy they’ve found their happiness is supportive in its own right.
Liked by: RidgeBack Rogue

🌿 mental health check-in: how have you been feeling today?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
Honestly I have no idea Leigh. It’s been a really rough few weeks and I think I’m finally starting to feel ok again but if I get too much time on my hands I just start to get down again. Not even down like emotional/upset but just kind of numb feeling. I feel at peace with what’s happened but at the same time life feels like it’s kind of screeched to a standstill for me and kind of just totally crumbled around me, yet everyone around me is still going about their lives like normal and I feel frozen in place watching everyone else live their lives.
My relationship ended kind of out of the blue about 3 weeks ago, but I’m still living with my ex and everything still feels “normal” except we’re not “together” anymore. He’s planning to move away from here as soon as he finds another job so I need to basically start everything over again myself. New housing, new dating profiles, new friends because he was my only person up here after I moved, etc. and my primary issue with that is I had been planning my entire existence around moving with him in the semi near future. I don’t want to be single for another several years waiting for someone else again but also I don’t want to find someone else here and then be in a position where either they make me want to stay somewhere I don’t want to be or I make them move when they want to stay. It’s an annoying situation to be put into and that’s partially why I’m feeling all the feels I’ve got. That and it’s looking like even if I did want to date someone locally right now, the dating pool here is literally the worst I’ve ever seen in my entire existence. I’ve swiped left on like 97% of profiles I’ve seen and I’d like to think I’m not THAT picky, especially considering right now I’m really just looking for connections more than anything physical/dating.
I started going to therapy just to have someone to talk to about issues I have been struggling with and how to handle life changes because this is the first time I’ve ever truly felt alone both socially and support wise. I mean I have my family but because my ex and I are still living together they now have nowhere to stay when they visit since my ex is living in the spare bedroom. And honestly I don’t want to be that person who still leans really heavily on her parents at this age. I’ve really leaned heavily into the therapy and working on mental health stuff these past few weeks. I’ve been trying to go out and hang out even just with coworkers. I even downloaded bumble for friends and met someone new on there. It’s been a journey and I’m already sick and tired of it and it hasn’t even been a month yet. And I really appreciate the therapist I’ve been seeing but I’m not sure that her setup is really working for me when I can only get maybe 30 minutes a week with her, if even that.
So long story short, I have been feeling better than the last few weeks but I’ve also been feeling a little lost, frustrated, tired, and also just kind of all around defeated.

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Do you prefer hiking or jogging? Why? 🎒 🥾 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♀️ 👍 😇

redoasis2017’s Profile Photo★ ☮ ♫ tēຖค¢i໐นŞ t໐๓๓คฯ™ ▩ ♚ ☻
I’m not a physically active person in the least but I guess hiking. I’ve done more of that recently and also I cannot jog to save my life. I lose my breath just doing basic every day things sometimes, picking up the pace is not up my alley at this time lol.

Do you go to a public place so often, where they know you by your name or face? Lol 🤪 is it a blessing or a curse, to be known by strangers? 😝

Coolio247’s Profile PhotoJustine Coolioness
I have gone places tons of times before and they never remember me but they do remember my mom. She is apparently quite memorable lol. She thinks it’s a curse, idk how I feel about it. At the start of covid though I did go to Dunkin’ so many times that going through the drive thru they knew my order and would ask me to verify when I’d order it slightly modified from my regular… that took a whole new meaning to going somewhere too many times when they knew me by my order in the drive thru order box machine thing but not my face at any other business 🤣
Liked by: Justine Coolioness

Happy Mother's Day!! 🤗✨💐🌄 How will you be spending the day? Do you have a good relationship with your mom, or have someone in your life that you would consider a mother figure?

Coolio247’s Profile PhotoJustine Coolioness
I think the bf and I tried going out to eat on Mother’s Day and made it to 2 or 3 different places just to end up going home and eating there instead because the lines were all crazy. My mom lives several hours away and came up this weekend to visit instead so I got her a gift and then proceeded to give it to her several weeks late when I was able to see her. I did mail a card and my dad got her flowers in my name though.

Serious question... 😱 (Ruh ROH)... *Puts lamp over your head*... Do you think someone has blocked you on here, before?!? *GASP!!* If so... Why do you think so??? What's their deal? Lol. You're super cool in my eyes, though 😎✨🖖🆒

Coolio247’s Profile PhotoJustine Coolioness
Lol! I’m sure someone somewhere has at some time. Probably because I said something that offended them or didn’t back down in some kind of “debate” with them.

🌈 what websites do you frequent if you're shopping online? what was the last online purchase you made?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
Amazon, Sips by, occasionally Old Navy, Shein sometimes. Last purchase online was from Amazon and it was a magnetic pen holder for the side of my fridge.

💫 if you have tattoos, how many do you have? if you don't have tattoos, would you ever consider getting one (and what would you get)?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
I don’t have any and realistically I don’t think I’d ever get any. I’m too indecisive and easily bored of things and I’d be afraid of growing tired of my tattoo after spending far too much time thinking about and perfecting the ideal tattoo.
Liked by: Lex Talionis

🌿 do you believe in the concept of "right person, wrong time"? why/why not?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
No, I don’t. In the moment it may seem like it but I feel like everyone who has been in my life has been in my life at the right time and provided me with something that I needed at that time.
Liked by: Lex Talionis

do you sometimes enjoy drama on askfm?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
It has been SO long since I’ve seen and/or been involved in any on here that I honestly couldn’t tell you anymore. But I def used to find it entertaining to read a few years ago lmao

Hello! I am back, more or less. Just wanted to reach out and wish you all a wonderful winter/holiday season and see how you're doing. If you would, please tell me a bit about how you've been doing? Much love ~Erin Wolf

ErinWolf4919’s Profile PhotoErin Wolf
Hey Erin! Glad to see ya back. Hope you’ve been well!! Not sure where I was when I last saw you on here but recent updates (since covid started):
- new degree - 2020
- new relationship - 2020
- new job - 2021
- new state - 2021
- new move again (bf moved to new state with me, I had to move again to accommodate his dog) - 2021
- death in the family - 2022
- potential impending new move/new job again in the semi near future - 2022
Life has provided a lot of “news” for me in the last 2 or so years. I’ve been depressed af for the last 6 or so months. Work is tiring the shit out of me and idk how much longer I can take this much work for this little pay but I genuinely adore my coworkers and frankly the job too so I’m actually extremely torn. Love the bf more than anything though and he is NOT happy here. So we’ll see what happens with the job stuff and the new location stuff. Keep me in your thoughts and send good vibes my way, life might get rough again for a while lol

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Which are you: an extravert, introvert, or ambivert? Are you more likely to gravitate to people like you or opposite to you as friends/partners?

misphire’s Profile PhotoSteph
Idk wtf I am. It feels like it changes by the day and I always feel opposite of what I thought I was based on the previous day lol. I feel like I tend to gravitate toward partners that are more introverted than I am which is unfortunate because I want to expand my social circle and be more outgoing and extroverted but my relationships always seem to hinder that. Either that or they make me be more outgoing because my partner isn’t and I have to double time to make up for it 🤣
Liked by: Lex Talionis

What is a food you like, but you rarely eat (excluding overindulgent temptations/junk food)? Why don’t you eat it more often?

Neo_gs’s Profile PhotoSafe Around People And Pets
Ravioli. I LOVE ravioli but I like the good, smaller little square ones that are really stuffed. Not the huge flat ones where you pay like $25 for 4 ravioli at a restaurant. But most grocery stores don’t sell that size so it’s hard to find and I moved away from the one bakery I knew of who made them to take home and cook yourself. Also I grew up having ravioli primarily only for special occasions so it’s never really been a commonplace meal for me anyway.

💫 what do you have planned for the upcoming week?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
My parents are coming to visit this weekend so I was thinking it could be fun to visit the little farmers market and maybe attend a bluegrass and bbq festival with them. In preparation of that, cleaning and getting the house ready for new guests since my bf’s mom just left yesterday. Also maybe having another low key relaxed day at work if possible. I spent most of today chatting with one of the newer hires in another department and it was so nice to just talk to someone other than my bf and not have to worry about work for a little while. Gotta say it was nice to not feel totally slammed for a couple hours lol

🌺 do you have any plans for the month of june?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
I have a contract day coming up in 2 weeks which means I get 8 hours of my life back from work if that counts as plans. Idk what I’m doing that day yet but maybe something fun?? Otherwise it’s just work work work as usual. We’re down to 2 people in my department so it’s been fun trying to keep up with the swarms of students upset that we aren’t getting to them fast enough while we work our asses off double time to accommodate as many as we possibly humanly physically can within an 8 hour time frame I’m just looking forward to a day off frankly lol.

☀️ do you like sunbathing? do you tend to tan or burn?

poetalunam’s Profile Photoleigh;
I love sunbathing, primarily because I like being tan. But it takes me FOREVER and a day to get anywhere near a tan and I do burn.

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