Hey Abhiii! I love your answers! I want some advice from you. I feel like my relationship is losing the charm and lacking the interest which was there initially. So do you think at this point, it would be better to end the relationship?
We, simply do not lose interest. Interest is not like a slab of butter that turns all funny with age or a mothball that slowly evaporates.
We lose interest when we choose to lose interest. Problem is, we make that choice without even knowing we're making a choice.
You lose interest in your partner when you make choices that turn away i.e when you do or perform things that do not include your partner and it doesn't even occur to you that this activity required you to include your partner. As a result of this, a feeling of "taking for granted" develops in the partner and with time, this becomes contagious and comes back at you.
You keep the spark alive when you make choices to engage with your partner, when you continue to make investments in seeing your partner and helping your partner to feel loved and understood.
Imagine planting a beautiful flower garden, and when you finally have it the way you perfectly like it, you go spend time enjoying it, but over time you notice it doesn't seem as great as it once did. Some of the flowers are dying, and there are weeds taking over. You then start losing interest and stop going to the garden.
The garden could have still been enjoyed and kept vibrant forever. Sure, flowers would die and weeds would grow, but you were supposed to continually work on your garden, making it fruitful and healthy.
Good relationships take a lot of work. The work is worth it. The members are able to enjoy each other’s company and are able to grow together. But anything good takes work. This is no secret esoteric knowledge, no deep mystery for the ages.
We lose interest when we choose to lose interest. Problem is, we make that choice without even knowing we're making a choice.
You lose interest in your partner when you make choices that turn away i.e when you do or perform things that do not include your partner and it doesn't even occur to you that this activity required you to include your partner. As a result of this, a feeling of "taking for granted" develops in the partner and with time, this becomes contagious and comes back at you.
You keep the spark alive when you make choices to engage with your partner, when you continue to make investments in seeing your partner and helping your partner to feel loved and understood.
Imagine planting a beautiful flower garden, and when you finally have it the way you perfectly like it, you go spend time enjoying it, but over time you notice it doesn't seem as great as it once did. Some of the flowers are dying, and there are weeds taking over. You then start losing interest and stop going to the garden.
The garden could have still been enjoyed and kept vibrant forever. Sure, flowers would die and weeds would grow, but you were supposed to continually work on your garden, making it fruitful and healthy.
Good relationships take a lot of work. The work is worth it. The members are able to enjoy each other’s company and are able to grow together. But anything good takes work. This is no secret esoteric knowledge, no deep mystery for the ages.
