Hi! I hav this bff & she has a crush on the same guy i've a crush on. She knows it dat the guy is my crush. Idk y but dis is not making me happy since a long time now & honestly, I wouldn't like if he prefers her over myself. How do i make her back off politely, widout being mean?
Big deal, y’all like the same person. It’s not like you’ve laid claim to them like a 49er during the California Gold Rush. If you dislike someone simply for fancying the same person you fancy, that is actually mean. It's also possessive and controlling.
You sound young. When you're young, crushes are powerful and confusing things. You fantasize about your crush, you desperately want your crush, you desire reciprocation but you're scared you won't get it, and you're frightened that if someone else likes your crush they might take your crush away from you.
But here's the thing: your friend can't take your crush away from you, because your crush is not yours. Your crush doesn't belong to you. You have a crush on someone. So? You don't own your crush. Other people will also like your crush, and guess what? Your crush will like other people.
If you want to be with your crush, ask them out. If you can't or won't ask them out, then someone else will, and your chance will be gone. And there's no point being jealous of the person who asks your crush out, because they haven't done anything wrong. Ask your crush out or accept that someone else will. Those are your only choices.
I hope you realize that you are not being rational here, and that you need to sort out your emotions before you end up damaging your friendship with your best friend.
You sound young. When you're young, crushes are powerful and confusing things. You fantasize about your crush, you desperately want your crush, you desire reciprocation but you're scared you won't get it, and you're frightened that if someone else likes your crush they might take your crush away from you.
But here's the thing: your friend can't take your crush away from you, because your crush is not yours. Your crush doesn't belong to you. You have a crush on someone. So? You don't own your crush. Other people will also like your crush, and guess what? Your crush will like other people.
If you want to be with your crush, ask them out. If you can't or won't ask them out, then someone else will, and your chance will be gone. And there's no point being jealous of the person who asks your crush out, because they haven't done anything wrong. Ask your crush out or accept that someone else will. Those are your only choices.
I hope you realize that you are not being rational here, and that you need to sort out your emotions before you end up damaging your friendship with your best friend.
