Bianca S. Valerio

You have got all your anecdotes all wrong, love...
Your past does NOT define you. If it did, then that means, the present and the future have no merit or use whatsoever to a person's evolution, both, inside and out. There would be no such thing as second chances, as you say. There would never be any individual growth or beauty of possibilities.
Second, NO: once a cheater doesn't mean you're always a cheater. Being a cheater is the same as being a republican, a hippie, a douche bag: It is a CHOICE.
And so is Trust: If you CHOOSE to be with your boyfriend who was once a cheater, then in order be happy and move forward, you need to CHOOSE to trust him despite his past.
If he is a changed man, you being paranoid is also preventing him from moving on from his troubled past. If he is not, they maybe your hunch was the intuition you needed. But these things take PROOF and time.

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It is a two-way street, if he is making an effort to show he is loyal, do your share to show you are trying to trust him. You cannot punish someone for sins they've committed towards other people. That is not your place to do so. If not, you're better off without him. All the paranoia is only going to eat up at your relationship and make it toxic.

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In order to learn how to discipline our emotions, we need to understand ourselves - why we react the way we do, why we are the way we are. Think of ourselves as a computer and in order for it to function right, we need to know how it works so we can troubleshoot it SPECIFICALLY.

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You say you are an introvert. Therefore, you are aware that too much outside stimulus affects you easily. That is great that you are aware of this. This is called self-awareness.
While extroverts get their energy from their surroundings and from other people, introverts are the opposite: you recharge from within, without the need for anything or anyone else. Some think this is so emo but think of it as a good thing.
You cannot control all the drama around you but the one thing you can control is your attitude towards it. Being an introvert, it is ALREADY in your nature to harness the strength and patience from within. So use it power. This means, no matter what shit is thrown at you, if you got your shit together from the inside, you are unshakeable.

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To stay sane, positive and even gain new perspective in almost any situation, you just need to try to find some alone time. Be it in a bathroom cubicle, a chapel, inside your car, fire exit or any place you can find some peace and quiet even just for 5-10minutes. It really is about inhaling the new energy from that momentary isolation then exhaling all the negative energy.
Actually, this is a form of meditation but I don't want to say that because others don't really understand or believe in its effectivity. So best to call it alone time - Me Time. Trust me: IT ALWAYS WORKS.

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Love, there is a difference being being alone and lonely.
ALONE: Your happiness is dependent on yourself, therefore within your control.
When you are content with your own company, everyone else is just complementary to you. They are an added bonus but not essential to your happiness.

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LONELY: Your happiness depends on outside factors which isn't in your control.
Thus, the total opposite. It's the yearning for someone or something to keep your company, to make you feel validated and complete. Understand that you can be in a relationship but still feel very lonely. There is no guarantee of happiness.

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EVERYONE goes through these phases in life. But your objective is to learn how to be happy by yourself. You need to embrace being alone because it is actually one of the most liberating feelings in the world.
For as long as you are happy with yourself, nothing and no one can make you feel lonely or pressured.

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As much as Mo & I disagree on some things, I acknowledge and respect that it is a good perspective for the varied types of viewers / listeners of the show.
For sure, he may not have the most endearing tone (and I can't stand it most times, trust me, LOL) but Mo (if you can believe) truly means well. He represents the harsh, in-your-face-type of reality that many people actually need in order to "wake up." We all need that kind of reality-check at times, don't you think? That is @djmotwister's strength - TOUGH LOVE because he tells it the way it is. Damn, it hurts but as they say, "the truth hurts."
I, on the other hand, have my own way of reaching out to people, which is pretty much the opposite. Others favor it over Mo's and vice-versa. So indeed, "different strokes for different folks."
Nonetheless, thank you so much for supporting @GTWMPodcast and for appreciating my type of contribution to the show :-)

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That is such a vague question and second, so what? I don't even know how old you are so your question is already starting off on the wrong foot.
There could be a myriad of reasons as to why you don't have a girlfriend: you're too young, you're picky, you're conservative, you're a douche bag, you're possibly gay & not aware of it, you're parents are so strict or you wanna wait til you supposedly meet, "The One," and the list goes on.
Some girls might even like a guy who's like that because they "saved" themselves for that one special girl while some girls prefer guys who have had more experience.
Nevertheless, don't feel insecure if you haven't had a girlfriend for whatever reason. If you are happy with this personal choice then who cares what others think of it! It's your life, not theirs.
If you aren't happy with your current status then ask yourself why it just doesn't seem to be working out for you. Ask trusted friends on their thoughts about it as sometimes, we need outside perspectives to get the bigger picture.
Just remember, Single is a wonderful state of mind and being! Never be ashamed of it! It takes more courage to be single and alone (not lonely).

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I'm sorry. I didn't realize the man who raped you was your own father. I am sorry that your mother didn't believe you.
First: sometimes, people live in denial. They do this to absolve themselves from responsibility, the truth or because the pain is so great that they cannot bear it. Then there are people who live in denial because they carry so much guilt.
Second, I would LIKE to believe, there is a small part of your mom that actually believes your father is guilty because I still firmly believe in mother's intuition. The fact that she has been married to him all this time, she must have SOME inkling that he has such tendencies. But because she has also been married to him for so long, is loyal to him and is most likely repulsed by the fact that he can commit such a crime, especially to her own flesh and blood, she can indadvertedly turn a blind eye to the whole situation.
She may also "not believe" you because, rather than carrying the guilt that she could not protect her own child, she would rather place blame on other people (like you or someone else), than herself. This is part of human nature. When we are caught up in a dreadful situation, instinctively, we blame everyone else but ourselves.
Third: You are AMAZING. The fact that you are deciding to keep this child despite the circumstances makes you a phenomenal human being. Many people could never fathom mothering a child from rape or worse, the father is the victim's own father. That is (pardon my language); F*CKED UP.
Fourth: you must be thinking, why are my parents like this? Do they not love me? Why is this happening to me? These questions are difficult to answer if the answers must come from outside sources and not yourself. These things are beyond your control.
What can you control? Your attitude. Easier said than done but, try adjusting your mindset. We are raised to believe our parents are the ones who know better and are "stronger" than their children. In this case, obviously this is not true. Instead, try to FIRMLY say to yourself and believe: You are stronger than your parents. Why? Because you are strong enough to take on a responsibility of not being victimized by rape, mothering a child at a young age and adopting an attitude of positivity in seeing that, as I mentioned, "a child is always a blessing."
One day, you will be strong enough to forgive them & ultimately, my dear, you will need to learn how to forgive yourself. This was NOT your fault. You didn't ask for this nor deserve any of this.
Unfortunately, trials come into people's lives that are so grave that it takes time & perseverance to understand their deeper meaning; their relevance in our lives.
Promise now to yourself that you will be the parent your parents failed to be, to you. This is now your purpose...
You are starting a new chapter in your life. It is scary. I am sure. But your strength alone is so admirable so I am positive you will make it through if you seek the right sources for support. God bless.

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Good question. To some this sounds a bit cliche' or corny but a lot of us, whether we realize it or not, we try to live by old age wise words as a reflection of our personal morale and/or current disposition.
However, I also find that mottos change through the course of one's life. They reflect the experiences we've gone through.
The very first that really struck accord with me was back in university when a classmate shared it in class,
"God never gives us trials He knows we cannot handle."

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There are several but here are the ones that I value the most:

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"Be careful for what you wish for because you just might get it."

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"People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did.
But people will never forget how you made them feel." ~ Maya Angelou

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The photo I posted is the one I treasure the most by Mother Teresa.
It is hard to always observe but at least I try to be this way in all areas of my life. It's a work in progress.

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Thank you so much! Spiderman's uncle said: With great power comes great responsibility. I take my post on the show very seriously.
Yes it may be a guilty pleasure for many since a lot of the questions are funny and truly entertaining. However, I also know it is an outlet for many anonymous individuals who NEED some refuge, solace, a listening ear - something - because they feel all alone. So I take pride in doing what I can to offer any words of encouragement and my full attention as I want all callers to feel validated that they too are important.
Right now, I am speaking for myself but I can safely say that Mo, though his "style" of addressing some issues are rather harsh, doesn't mean that he doesn't care just as much. We offer the Yin and Yang of consolation and support and it is up to the caller to sift through it and take the best from it.
Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words. It makes me happy to know I am doing something productive and effective in this job that I truly love... <3

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