Bianca S. Valerio

Okay, don't panic...
This might just help another in a similar situation so I'll translate all that you sent IN A NUTSHELL.
"...I have so many problems re my parents. I caught my mom having an affair. Then dad keeps venting to us how mad he is at her. Doesn't that have psychological effects on a child?
Then I feel my parents favour my siblings more which may cause Middle Child Syndrome.
Not to mention I'm not close to my dad. He's just always upset with me. I've shared with him how I feel but it only ended up getting worse.
Due to all this pent up anger, I fear I might end up killing myself (which I hope won't be the case) because every time I get mad, I feel like I just want to die.
So I'd like to address this problem as early as now. I'm 19. If you advise me to tell a friend, I worry they'll only spread it around. I care so much for my family, even if they're kinda shitty. HELP!!"

---

MY OPINION...
FACT: Nearly everyone in this world has some kind of drama, dysfunction or deep secrets within their family. Some worse than others. You're not alone. We get calls like this often on the podcast.
1. Best NOT to tell your friends. Things like these are very sensitive and not everyone, especially teenagers will carry this secret responsibly. Close relatives are your best option.

---

2. Middle, youngest or eldest - every child has their own issues re their parents. Do not feel that just because you're the middle child, then most likely you have MCS.
Understand that even parents are ALSO human. They also have their own needs. So there will be times that even if they WISH to be the best parents, it doesn't always translate, just like in your case.

---

3. Re your dad: No parent wants to be a failure. Try to put yourself in his shoes. First, his wife, the mother of his children is having an affair. Then his daughter shares how she's not happy with their father-child relationship. Wouldn't you think that would make him feel he's failed, BOTH, as a husband & father?
When anyone criticises us, don't we initially get defensive? We put our guard up right away? This is a normal, human defense-mechanism, which I believe your dad has been doing because he feels he has just lost so much control in his life. It is very difficult for any dad to acknowledge any kind of failure or shortcoming, especially coming from a 19yr old. So he isn't actually mad at you, but at himself.

---

4. Textbooks says it has psychological effects on a child. Sure but that is entirely up to you. You get to decide by your attitude towards the situation if you want it to FUCK or TOUGHEN you up. You have the choice of being the victim or the victor in this mess.

---

5. Many times, it's even the children themselves who act like the parents. So take charge by making sure you & your siblings support one another during this difficult time. Ask help from close relatives for a family intervention. It is a process but don't give up. Trials are meant to mould you strong and not tear you down.

View more

With all due respect, then you shouldn't send your daughter to ANY school.
If there's one thing I learned from studying BOTH at an exclusive private girls' and co-ed school, no matter how much you try to protect your child from the harsh realities of the world, you simply cannot shield them from the inevitable.

---

Just because no one talks about the bad things happening around them doesn't mean it isn't actually happening.
The vices and the people around her are not your concern because they are not in your control. But what you can control is what you teach your child when it comes to making the right decisions, discerning the intentions of people, learning how to deal with different types of personalities, situations and pressures, etc.
You need to allow your daughter to make her own mistakes, no matter how much it pains us. These are the building blocks of character and self-worth.

---

Another thing you can control? In this case, if you have proof then it must be reported to the school's administration.

---

And for the record, I am a proud graduate of De La Salle University Manila.

View more

Hahaha! I get a LOT of questions daily but this definitely caught my attention!
Well, given that you mentioned you already have a luxurious lifestyle then at least you can be glad you got one.
It's a very relative question since we all have our own definitions of what we would consider luxurious or improved.
Let's assume, financially and materially, you already have the makings and resources to sustain a luxurious life. So that leaves it to immaterial things that encapsulate it.
PERSONALLY, these four things define the epitome of a luxurious lifestyle:
1. Independence: when you don't need to depend on anyone else but yourself to afford whatever luxuries you desire. This is freedom.
2. Time: When you are not held to any required schedule and can jet off ANYTIME you wish. Again, freedom.
3. Gratefulness: When you find joy even in the simplest of things, you feel such gratitude that everything else good that comes to you are like cherries on a pie. This leads to...
4. Contentment: When you're so content living the so-called luxurious life that you don't have need to compare, compete or seek validation from others. That calm elegance resonates through you and is felt by the people around you.

---

Oftentimes finances are not the problem but our own inner demons.
So for me, the ultimate luxury is freedom from within. When paired with all the luxuries the world has to offer, you are in a state of bliss <3

View more

Hey love, greeting from Manila!
Sephora's like Disneyland for any beauty junkie, don't you think?? Admittedly, it's not also the cheapest. So it's best to own a mix of high-end and drugstore brands in your kit. Ultimately, it's finding out what products work the best with you and NOT what brand they are. Sorry, your question's too long so I'll answer the first!
Here are my Top 5 from SEPHORA:
1. Sephora Collection:
Their box sets are not exactly the most pigmented and are prettier to look at than to use, to be honest. But their lipsticks for me are great buys! Wide range of shades and finishes. I'm also a fan of their primers. They can rival those of Smashbox and Make-Up Forever for a lower price.
2. T3:
Considered the BMWs or Benz' of blow dryers and ya, they aren't cheap but I discovered this when I was in make-up and hair school at Make-Up Designory, LA in 2009. It really is the best. It dries hair so fast and for someone like me who has really thick hair, it helps me get ready in half the time. Plus it makes my hair look shinier.
3. Urban Decay:
Sad they had it in Manila years ago but didn't really take off. I am a fan of their Primer Potion. I've used it to keep my eye shadow stay put and vibrant for years now. Rain or shine, it's a great product to use.
4. Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics:
Their famous Lip Tars are amazeballs. So much so they're difficult to remove, LOL! I use them alone or I mix them for lips, eyes and cheeks. Plus their products are 100% Vegan & Cruelty-Free!
5. Bare Minerals:
I've always been a fan of the whole mineral make-up movement and when this brand was launched in 2007, I just had to try it out and even purchased it via TV order when I was in the US. It's great for light, everyday wear when you just don't want to wear make-up but need a little umph. I still wear it though with sunblock as cream sunblocks are still the most effective vs powders to shield the sun's harmful rays.

---

5 DRUGSTORE Brands:
1. Maybelline: Their mascaras are THE BEST.
2. Tresemme:
I buy the Fresh Start Strengthening Dry Shampoo in bulk cuz it's so cheap yet effective, compared to other brands! If there's one thing I REALLY give extra care to, I think even more than my skin, it's actually my hair because I color it often. So I really make sure I buy products that help keep it healthy and vibrant in color. Dry shampoo helps control an oily scalp, keeping hair volumized and bouncy.
3. L'Oreal Hair Care:
Unfortunately Manila doesn't carry hair care brands that are sulfate-free. L'Oreal has EverPure Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner that I use, which I interchange with Pureology Shampoo and Conditioner. Sulfate is what causes shampoos to create suds which definitely cleans but also fades color much faster.
4. Physicians Formula:
They have great concealers for cheap.
5. Pond's: Mom has been using the Cold Cream since I was a little girl. We buy the big tubs in the US. It is the BEST make-up remover plus moisturizer than anything out there.

View more

It's admirable that you wish to help this woman. However, it is also your obligation as a father and husband to put your family first. Honor Thy Wife and children as they say...
All I can foresee is you becoming an enabler. Rather than helping her, you are only crippling her because she will be solely dependent on you.
I wouldn't be surprised if she even saw you as a "rebound" for "saving" her. Don't be stupid. Anyone vulnerable will look to anyone who shows any form of care.
This is definitely going to cause problems in your marriage. So as much as you want to be a good samaritan, you must also prioritize your family who ALSO need you.
If you must help, then help her find shelter like a convent so they can help care for her and her son. Give her some money to get her started but leave it at that.
She is NOT your responsibility but your family is.

View more

There is no set time, per se, because each person is different.
It depends why you're asking:
1. Is it to be sure you're emotionally ready OR
2. You just want to make sure it's the "socially accepted" time so as not to look like a douche bag or a candidate for rebounding.

---

Only you can really tell if you are in fact, ready. This is when you've fully accepted, adjusted, enjoyed and celebrated your single status; and now you're ready to share a new chapter in your life with someone new without any hang-ups from your previous relationship.

---

But if you're merely asking because people talk, then it would depend on how long your previous relationship was. Obviously, the shorter the relationship was, like months, then dating again in just a few months (in my opinion) is right about fine.
If you dated for much longer, I suggest you give it at least a year. Give yourself some time to breathe in between relationships and for people to identify you again as YOU and not THEM/US (you and your ex).

View more

Look, as they say, Sex complicates everything, especially with FUBU's.
Someone is ALWAYS bound to get hurt because they've crossed the line of casual sex to falling for their partner (even unintentionally).
No matter how much you BOTH agree to stick to the plan, someone's bound to get fucked - in all senses of the word.
Your Options:
1. Tell him flat out this is just sex and as much as it's sweet that he's showing signs of affection and what not, you'd like to keep things purely platonic - no strings attached.
IF THAT DOESN'T WORK....

---

2. Sorry to say this but, "Put him in his place," by casually mentioning that you're seriously interested in someone else and would even consider dating this imaginary person (yes, you will have to lie). This way, you are indadvertedly telling him, "you're just sex and nothing more." Is it mean? Yes. But hey, FUBU's are no fun when feelings get involved so these are the consequences of your choices to have one.
#JustSaying
#ThingsILearnedFromDJMoTwister

---

If you are indeed a "friend," you'll stop sleeping with him to spare his heart and not have him eventually hating you for not feeling the same way.
But if you still want to keep him around then just prepare yourself as it can get ugly if he fully realizes he's not okay with you not wanting taking it to the next level - as in, relationship.

View more

TRANSLATION: If a straight man goes for a transgender, does it make him gay?
This is just my personal opinion...
Many of us, both, men and women have acknowledged how beautiful many transgenders are. In fact, a lot of us don't even have a clue that they are in fact, transgenders as in some cases, they are even way more hot than actual straight women!!!
(Though transgenders can either be male or female, I am assuming you are referring to the latter).

---

In your case, if you happen to be attracted to this person - assuming she is a biological woman, then no, you are not gay.
BUT, in the case that you already found that this person is a transgender and STILL continued to pursue him/her, then I would believe this does make you gay.
Simply because you are already aware that this person is biologically born a man and still decide to continue pursuing him.
We actually get calls like these on @GTWMPodcast where the caller is left confused, afraid and even ashamed.

---

Here are my thoughts, the heart wants what the heart wants that the mind will never understand.
If this person makes you happy and lets you feel things that other people never have (straight or gay), then follow that bliss.
Go below the radar first if you're afraid to let people find out. This will also help you sort out your own feelings without unnecessary noise and judgements from people who don't understand or WANT to understand, simply because it is not the accepted norm.

View more

Exactly, what do YOU want to do?
Everyone has their own sexual quirks/fetishes, some weirder or more prevalent than others (for whatever reasons).
Personally, I think there are WAY weirder and grosser fetishes than a guy cumming on your pretty feet. Sure better than him cheating on you or let's say, cumming or peeing on your face (to say the least)!

---

Part of having a partner is sexual compatibility. If anything, this is so important in any intimate relationship.
Sexual intimacy and chemistry is all about fun, exploration VIA a GIVE and TAKE process: Satisfying each other in a way that no one else can because there is an emotional connection as well.
Hey, name me ONE person who GENUINELY loves GIVING oral sex??? NO ONE. It's no Disneyland but they do it because they know it satisfies their partner and because they love their partner.

---

If you are sexually satisfied, he's made you cum and all that, then let him have his fun too!
He is still entitled to indulge in his fetishes for as long as he only does them to you but if it still bothers you, it just means you aren't sexually compatible.
This will ultimately cause problems like him POSSIBLY cheating. If he can't get his fill from you, he can easily find someone who will. Harsh but true so my dear, it's really all up to you if you're okay with it or not.

View more

There is a fine line between loving and ENABLING someone.
In this case, if he is already pawning your stuff, the woman he supposedly loves and respects to support a habit then where is the love and respect there? If anything, he is just using you and is taking advantage of you 'loving' him.
Although your intentions are to love him, instead, you are actually enabling him to worsen his drug addiction.
I understand. We all want to believe our undying love is what it'll take to change someone (whatever it is they need to change about themselves)... That having to leave them is like giving up on them.
But if there's one thing I've learned the hard way, no amount of our good intentions can change or save someone. It is not our duty to change people. The most we can do is support and guide them but the changing is ALL on them. They need to want it for themselves. Other than God, they are their own saviors, not you, not me.
You need to give him an ultimatum that unless he gets help that you are leaving him.
Love sometimes means we end up doing things we don't want to do to our loved ones, for their own good. Be strong.

View more

It's very refreshing to hear a man actually vent how his GF isn't making time for him. Takes a lot to admit that.
Okay, 4 things:
1. Priorities:
It seems work is the top priority of your GF, which is commendable but are you okay with that?

---

2. Balance:
Relationships, career and time for one's self is a balancing act. At this age, no offense but it's not the easiest thing to do. Your early 20s is a time when you're building something for yourself in terms of career.
So a lot of work demands need to be met and if one is really ambitious and driven, things like relationships will more than likely take a backseat.

---

3. Understanding as you are, what are you willing to put up with?
Everyone has a breaking point. If you are just going to end up resenting her for making you feel neglected (which you have every right to feel, no matter if her reasons for unintentionally doing so is legit like work), then you shouldn't be together.

---

4. What's her story? Have you spoken to her about how you feel?
Even if you choose to be understanding and all, no matter how busy she is, she needs to put in the work too, as with ALL relationships. It's not about not having time, it's about MAKING time.
Efforts needn't be great, they can be small but consistent to make one's partner feel valued and validated.

---

You both need to talk and work towards a common goal, whether it be working it out slowly without sacrificing each others needs and personal endeavors OR deciding to break-up amicably before it gets messy.

View more

Oh my god, I would f*cking livid if that were me! I'm so, so sorry you have to go through this.

---

Admittedly, I don't know if you watch @GTWMPodcast, but I rarely ever pull the "revenge" card as this is more of @DJMoTwister's specialty (if I may call it that).
I've always believed in the whole cycle of Karma. Yes, for some it's ridiculous or non-gratifying but I've always believed that even if I could be the most amazing mastermind of revenge plots, God or the Universe has an even better way to dealing those who've hurt us. And we earn good karma for not wishing evil upon others. It's NOT easy but it's simply a personal choice.

---

BUT THAT IS ME.

---

I suggest you call the show and I am sure that Mo will have an awesome plot to get back at him.

---

But if I really had to give an answer, I would probably gather proof of his affair and confront them both that you would release these photos to her school principal/dean and threaten expulsion, etc.
Then of course there's the obvious: LEAVE HIM and make sure to NOT let him leave with any of him shit. He owes you for paying for all the bills while he was jobless so you have every fucking right.

View more