Ask @Dartegnian:

Where are you from? What languages do you speak? (For me:🇩🇪Deutsch, English and very very little nihongo)

I'm from the Philippines! I fluently speak both English and Filipino, and I can read/write Korean. I can both read and write Korean, but can't comprehend it (I just know their writing system, but have little comprehension of text).
Deutsch? That's great! Where are you from and why are do you speak Deutsch?

View more

Have you ever cheated on your beloved?

I would never cheat on my beloved. For the sake of despair...? Haha, that's completely wrong! What I did...was for the sake of my beloved. If only they were still alive... They'd be so happy. ...I know. My beloved...was the only one... That's right, the only one who... ...never hated me. They forgave my existence. They forgave me and accepted me. They gave me value. They loved me. I loved them with all my heart and they returned it in full. This is...my reciprocation.
(If you don't get the Danganronpa reference, here's my answer: nope, never, probably never will. I still don't have a GF, and never had one.)

View more

is it hard for you to apologize?

Yes, but only to people I'm not close to/can't be vulnerable with. I keep my guard up, lie, and stay away from people who I feel like I can't trust. And lying, to me, invokes vulnerability—a prerequisite to a genuine apology. I obviously can't be vulnerable while staying away and keeping my guard up.
So I lie. I lie through my teeth and fake an apology. I know it's wrong and I don't care. I do it because I have to. I can't afford to be vulnerable to people I have deemed untrustworthy. I can't give them a genuine apology and I can only lie through my facade. I mostly just run away and keep my distance when it comes to those people, which is why approaching them and giving them a genuine apology is so hard. This all results in my apologies to those people become hollow, have no grounding, essentially faker than a pair of Nike shoes at a thrift store.
But it's different for someone I'm really close to. I'd usually go out of my way to say sorry or apologize to them. I'd call them, leave them notes, make an explosive apology, or I'd hug them/hold them if I have to, just anything to show affection.
It's hard and mentally taxing, honestly. Having to spin a web of lies and to deceive others. But I have to do it.

View more

Next