@DoctorAlanChristmas

King Christmas

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What's the absolute best vacation you can imagine?

Cape May, NJ and Portland, OR are the most wonderful places in this godforsaken country so one of those.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

I believe only in the power if Jesus H. Christ, Our Lord and Savior, praise be.

If you had the power to create one law, what would it be?

I'd make it illegal for a Republican to run for president.

Would you rather be able to speak any language fluently or have the ability to talk to animals?

Lemme at them animal talkin powers

What cheesey song do you have memorized?

I used to know the whole Brenda and Eddie bit from Scenes From An Italian Restaurant. I know all the words to Come On Eileen if by "cheesey" you meant "brilliant artistic tour de force."

What band is your favorite at the moment?

It's still Elvis Costello & the Attractions, but Talking Heads, Graham Parker & The Rumour, and Oingo Boingo are up there as well.

What's the craziest thing you've done for someone you love?

Sung Barry Manilow. Should've seenthat as a warning sign that that would be a bad relationship.

What would you do if an elephant were charging at you?

Read "Shooting An Elephant" by George Orwell to either A) scare it off or B) contemplate the folly of White Imperialism and have a friendly discussion with me on the topic after which we will part as equals.

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