There's not always a sure way to tell early on, but generally the way they talk about things like "men and women can't be friends", "they have a partner they shouldn't be dressing for attention like that, who are they trying to impress?", "if they do *random thing that's not cheating* they're definitely cheating!"- those kinda things can give you an indication, but really you just have to watch out for the early incidents. It starts slowly usually, they just don't trust that 1 friend because of xyz and it may seem very reasonable, but there will always be a next time, a next friend, a next outfit, a selfie they don't want you to post, a job they don't like you doing because you happen to work with someone they find a threat etc. You can't always know beforehand, you just have to be aware of it when it starts and cut it off right then

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