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Feral Attraction
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I'm currently 15 and have been dating a guy (we both like each other very much) for a month now. I'm technically not allowed to date until I'm 16 (6 months). My parents won't let me go to his house (mine are ok with him coming here), but his mom is not. What should I do? Should I talk to his mom?

It might be a good idea for you and your parents and him and his parents to all go out for dinner together in order to develop comfort and some kind of rapport. It's much easier to say no to someone you don't know than it is to say no to someone in person. When you and your parents make it clear that you're not a threat, there is a good chance his parents will become more okay with him spending time at your place.

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If you have a boyfriend who doesn't speak his mind how do try and get him to talk to you without being overbearing

Model the behavior you'd like to see from him, and when he does open up to you, make sure you're accepting and non-judgemental of what he says, even if you aren't happy about it.

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I have been in a LDR ( i'm currently living next 4 yrs in japan) with a guy online and am in love w/everything about him. Everything is going smooth however I find myself not as attracted to his actual real life body as much as his sona and personality. How should I respond to this? Is this bad?

Physical attraction is only a small part of attraction; if you like everything about the person otherwise, there is no reason that lack of physical attraction need to stop you.

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I've started seeing this girl, but she'll very into traditional communication and we only text maybe 1-2 times a day. We talk on the phone for an hour every few days, but sometimes I'll not get any sort of contact with her for over 24 hours. Would it be rude to ask if we can communicate more often?

No, that is perfectly reasonable. You are unlikely to get what you haven't asked for — go ahead and advocate for your needs!

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Any advice for people that would generally consider themselves arelational, but want to start to get into relationships? I personally have never been in a relationship because I rarely feel emotional attraction to anyone. I love the idea of actually potentially being with someone but I dont connect.

You can't force it; you can put yourself out there, but pursue a relationship only when and if you feel that kind of connection with another person.

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My boyfriend barley talks to me and is being so rude to me, he talks to other girls and completely ignores me. I just don't know what to do anymore when I try to talk to him about the problem he ignores me

Break up with him; that will probably get his attention.

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What's the best thing to do when your crush knows you like him a lot and ask to borrow your notes and wants to know how much you like them? My friend talks to him about how I like him and he never said if he likes me back or not, I don't want to rush anything but I don't wanna loose a chance

This is one of those situations that demands honesty and vulnerability. "Hey, I know this might be awkward, and I'd like to think we could remain friends no matter what, but I just wanted to let you know that I like you quite a bit, and if you felt the same way, perhaps we could go out sometime. If not, that's totally fine; I really enjoy our friendship for what it is, and I'd not let my feelings interfere with that." Then, see what your friend says. There's a chance your friend won't be able to look at you the same way, but there is also a chance that this could be the start of something amazing!

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Can having a pack be a couple's thing? Like joining a pack as a couple or forming one as a couple with other single people or even other couples? Have you had experiences or know people who've had?

Yes! That's quite common. Single furs and couples tend to be the units by which furs join and exit packs.

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What are the most important advantages of Internet?


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Accused of being transphobic because I don't want to date someone who is transitioning to female. I'm gay, how else can I explain that I'm a man who likes men? How can I avoid the "come out after dating starts" type?

You don't control what you are and are not attracted to, end of story.

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Bit of an odd question, but here goes. Even though I don't think I mind the idea of a relationship, when approached with the opportunity for one, I essentially seem to panic and run away, even from people I like. Any tips on how to get over that?


Check out our podcast episode on CBT, which really helps with anxiety. Here are the show notes.

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Where is a better place to ask you all questions? Like. Real questions. Longer ones than 300 characters.

The many ways in which you can contact us are listed at

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Any advice for long distance relationships? Especially ones that will stay long distance for a while. I am in one at the moment, and we won't be able to see each other for at least a few years. It's really hard to stay strong when you miss the other so much...

We have a podcast episode devoted to this topic, available here:
We also have an advice column that addresses issues concerning polyamory and long-distance:

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Could the three of you do me a huge favor and hang yourselves together?

Let's not and say we did?

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Heya! My S.O. has a fetish for killing people and has assaulted a few individuals in the last few months for sexual gratification. I'm not okay with it, obviously! I think she needs help. What should I do?

Call the police.

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My husband is a tantruming child and will fight about literally anything over Twitter. Like on a daily basis. What's a good way to tell him he takes himself way too seriously?

Generally, it's important to distinguish real friends and connections, whose opinions should matter to you, and followers, whose opinions are not important in your life. Try to help your husband see the difference and choose his battles more carefully.

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Whats your most annoying habit?

Reading the comments.

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You guys ever wonder if you're just promoting your subjective views of relationships as ideas worth replicating onto impressionable people who might suffer when they fail?

No; our advice is synthesized from a number of respected authorities and resources on the subject of relationship ethics and ethical non-monogamy. It is not mere opinion. If you have specific criticisms, we'd love to address them! However, you'd need to follow up with us in a non-anonymous way if you wanted to have a proper conversation.

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My mate (and alpha) of two years has a co worker that has been flirting with him. She recently admitted she's a cat fur, same as his ex before me. He tells me about it, and insists he isn't interested in her, but I can't help but worry. What should I do?

You need to assume good faith and trust your partner; he will always be able to cheat on you. Unless you have evidence that he is doing so, it is counterproductive to constantly worry.

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What is your main rule?

When in doubt, talk it out! Communication is the key to happiness in any type of relationship.

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Is it better to be loved or feared?

Loved :3

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Invent a new word and its definition?

Trump (v) - To force the ejaculate of a male partner into that partner's anus by means of the tongue

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If someone liked you, how would you like them to tell you?

It is always a good idea to be direct, but give the person an "out" to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness.

Say something like, "I wanted to let you know that I like you a lot, but if you don't feel the same way, not a problem at all — I really value your friendship."

That way, if the person you're crushing on doesn't feel the same way, he or she won't feel particularly bad in telling you so, and you can continue being friendly without anyone's feelings getting hurt more than necessary.

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I am considering becoming mates with someone who is already mates with someone else, but it would be a long-distance relationship. How likely is it that a long-distance polyamorous relationship would work out?

We answered your question on the Feral Attraction advice column! Please see Cheers, Viro

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About Feral Attraction:

Ask.FM for the Feral Attraction podcast and advice column, hosted by Viro and Metriko. Ask your furry relationship advice questions here, and see them answered on the Feral Attraction podcast or blog! Anonymous questions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit questions for content.

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