Ask @IAmAChildofDivorce:

My parents divorced when i was a baby and i am 14 now my real dad and step mom are trying to guilt me into hating my real mom and step dad and i am being told that i am not needed at my real dads. What do I do? I mean Real dad is lying about step dad and i look to step dad for advice on guy stuff. I

I am glad that you've had your step dad in your life and that you've been able to go to him for advice on guy stuff. That is a real gift and he should be commended for it. Likewise, your dad and step mom should not be trying to make you feel guilty. You are free to love and seek advice from both of your parents, and your step-parents if you so choose. Have you talked to your dad about this and how it making you feel? In what ways do they try to guilt you?

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my mom just found out that my dad is cheating on her. again. and its like 100000 times he did it. and now,i feel like maybe it is the right thing for them to get divorced. idk, my mom have been so lost for the pas few years.she didnt even go to church anymore.idk how to response to this situation

I am so sorry to hear about the decisions your dad has made. I know it must be tough on you and your mom. It's up to your mom and dad to decide what they are going to do, but I want to let you know that we are here to help you however we can as you deal with the repercussions of whatever they decide.

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Hi, I am not sure if I posted something, because my message disappeared suddenly, but I still wanted to put my e-mail adress in here so you could contact me. I am very relieved to have written everything down. I was the Dutch girl, just so you know which message I sent. Thanks for listening, Marisk

Marsick, I didn't get your original message. If you'd like to e-mail me, you can at wayne@iamachildofdivorce.com.

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My mom and dad are not talking when they do they fight. I cry every time they fight alot. I will never beable tobe a normal teenage gal age14 if they get a divorse! my mom is supposed to go on a business trip with him to Florida but she said she doesn't want to go and I heard them talk about divorce

That's a tough situation to be in. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it. Let your parents know how you feel and how it makes you feel when they are fighting. Hopefully they can get some help and work things out without getting a divorce. But, please know that, no matter what happens with your parents, you can still have a normal life. It might look like the life you have right now, but you will adjust eventually (even though it might not seem like it at first). Let me know how things go.

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my parrents are not talking but when they do they fight. Every time they fight I hystaricaly cry.

I am sorry to hear what you're going through. It is tough to listen to your parents fighting, and I know it must b hurting you. I would suggest that you talk to them (either together or separately) to let them know that you've heard them fighting and how it makes you feel. You can't make them not fight, but you can ask them not to do it while you're around. I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes!

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if I run away from home will my parents come find me

I don't know you or your parents, but running away is never the answer. If you are feeling things that make you want to run away, talk to your parents about them. They may not know, or understand, what you are going through. If they won't listen, find a trusted adult you can share with.

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am the only daughter of mi father and i just found out that he is dating mi best friend what do i do i can' sleep or eat

I'm so sorry to hear about this. How old is your best friend? I know this has to be disturbing to you, and rightfully so. Have you talked to your father about what he is doing and how it makes you feel? What does he say? Have you talked to your friend about it?

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do children going through divorce see a change in their academic life also?

Yes, very often they do. A divorce represents a major trauma and change in a child's life, and they often find it difficult if not impossible to concentrate and to keep up in school. They end up falling behind, and some never catch up. That doesn't mean that there isn't any hope, but it will likely be harder for a child going through their parents' divorce.

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i feel really guilty about my parents divorce what should i do? it's making me depressed

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. The fact is, I have NEVER met a child who actually caused their parents divorce. Despite that, many feel like it is their fault. Divorce is an adult decision. Kids don't cause, and there is nothing kids can do to stop it. I would encourage you to read the following information and do the attached worksheet. http://iamachildofdivorce.com/was-my-parents-divorce-my-fault/
I hope this helps! Keep in touch.

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What if im depresed and dont want to tell me parents?

I'm sorry that you are depressed. Is there something specific that has you feeling that way? Why don't you want to tell your parents? I would make sure that you find an adult that you trust that you can talk to. We all get sad sometimes, and sometimes it takes a while to get past it, but if you are truly depressed, you need someone to talk to!!!

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my dad wants my blessing to date a woman with two daughters. Im an only child and am not ready for my dad to add another girl to his life, let alone 3. what do i do? I told him im not ready, but hes persistent.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It's nice that your Dad asked you, but it's hard that he doesn't understand how hard this really is for you. How long has it been since the divorce? I would encourage you to read the following articles What Do I Do When My Parents Start Dating Other People? (http://iamachildofdivorce.com/what-do-i-do-when-my-parents-start-dating-other-people/) and How Can I Keep My Parents From Dating After a Divorce? (http://iamachildofdivorce.com/how-can-i-keep-my-parents-from-dating-after-a-divorce/). Let me know how it goes!

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whats a good way to try to get my parents back together (please don't say there is not much I can do like you told those other people, I think I may actually have a chance as they are not divorced and are only doing a trial separation, they may get back together) I'm in gr7 and have 1 sib gr6+2 gr1

That's a tough situation you're in. Unfortunately, you can't really "get them back together," but there are some things you can do which might make the situation better. #1: Let them know that you love them both and your hope is that they would get back together and work on their marriage; #2: Remember, as much as you want them back together, it's not your job to make it happen; #3: Spend time with your siblings. No matter which way this goes, you are going to need one another. #4: Give them time to spend together to work things out, and don't try to "force the issue." There will be ups and downs. #5: Look for family time that you can all spend together. Having fun together is a fun way to remember how much you like each other. I hope it works out for your family. I look forward to hearing from you again.

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I accidentally saw my parents emails and they are doing a trial separation I didn't suspect this at all and I have 3 other siblings (ages 7 (twins) and 11, I'm 12) it is really hard because I have to pretend like I don't know, they are planning to tell us Saturday. How do I get them back together?

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do to get them back together if they have already made their minds up. When they tell you, ask them any questions you might have. You might find the following article helpful: http://iamachildofdivorce.com/what-can-i-do-to-get-my-parents-back-together/

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my dad is trying to divorce my mom im 24 and live with him he knows im nit for the divrce and wants me out the house and tried to lock me out of the house but my name is on the lease since my mom put me on it so is he legally able to put me out or can i call the cops to l me in

I'm sorry to hear about your circumstances and how your parents' divorce is impacting your life. Many people think at your age that kids aren't affected by their parents' divorce, but you are proof that that is not true. As for your situation, I can't really tell you what the law is. For that you would have to talk to the landlord or an attorney. You can try calling the cops and see what they say too. Unfortunately, you have even bigger issues than that. Your dad doesn't want you in the house, and even if you can find someone to force him to let you back in, it isn't likely to be a pleasant living environment. If possible, you might want to look into finding your own place to live, or living with your mom if that's a possibility - not because that's what your Dad wants, but because it might be what is best for you. Let us know how it goes!

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