Ask @IanHolwood:

How do you deal with ?

Google is my go to for technical questions.
but for ask.fm:
I put myself in the askers position, and try to be understand what information they are going for. Sometimes people ask questions with wide nets, so I research a little and try to figure out what the most likely direction their question is coming from. I always answer positively too. You never know what state someone is in, or if this is their do or don’t answer.

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Thank you for your answer. It was much nicer than the one I got from @StuntTiger and much more helpful. Thanks for being a decent human.

Anytime!

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+1 answer in: “My best friend has been sick for a while, she is now terminal and don't have much longer to live. I don't know how to act or what to say when she talks about dying and it's becoming so hard not to just break down in tears when I am with her. Tell me what to do, I can't even think anymore.”

What is the thing you think people should do more often?

Mediate.
Also answer questions with fully thought out and considerate answers. Why would you answer someone’s question in this app with ‘idk’? Seems silly to me that someone would spend time on an app like this, then not just think for a minute or do a little research to better themself. This app has such potential for personal development. Instead people just act fat and lazy. I find it gross.

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My best friend has been sick for a while, she is now terminal and don't have much longer to live. I don't know how to act or what to say when she talks about dying and it's becoming so hard not to just break down in tears when I am with her. Tell me what to do, I can't even think anymore.

You should be open and honest with yourself and her about your feelings. Being sad is Normal. Let them know you are going to miss them. Pretend to have a funeral with them and then see how you feel after it’s all said and done. Then talk with them about it. The emotions get worse when you hold them inside. She might let loose too. It might make the bond stronger, which will make you stronger even after she’s gone.

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+1 answer Read more

How to know that she wants you ?

This is a cultural dependent question and cannot effectively be answered by anonymous people online. What is your age? What sex are you? Too many variables for a good and effective answer. Here are some super general thoughts though:
She answers your texts.
She laughs at your jokes.
She doesn’t call the police on you.
She hasn’t shocked you with a stun gun.
There is legion of her evil ex’s out to kill you.
You are particularly pointed out and made fun of, and after that humiliation she comforts you.
You are comfortably chained up in her basement without a glimmer of hope to escape.
She whispers your name with her dying breath.

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Is it easy to give someone a second chance?🙊

Yeah. You just do it. It’s about balance and personal negotiation. What are you gaining from the relationship. Is that gain worth it if they do whatever they did again? Measure it out! How much did it hurt you on a scale of 1 to 10. How much would it hurt if they did it again? How happy were you BEFORE they did that (1-10), how happy could you be AFTER they betrayed your trust (or whatever it was). Do the math. No emotions except for the ones you are measuring. What does the logic of your heart say?
Keep in mind there will always be another. Maybe not this second, but maybe you don’t even know what 10 is because you haven’t met someone that can put you there yet. Do the math. Figure out what makes you happy.

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How to tell someone you like them?

Directly. Something along the lines of, “Hey I think you’re cute, would you like to catch a movie this weekend?” Make sure you have a movie picked though, that way you don’t fall apart trying to think of one. Plan your conversation a little bit, have smooth lines ready Incase they turn you down. Practice in the mirror a few times, speak out loud so you know the words will come out. It’s ok to be nervous. Use that energy to make it happen!

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What do you think, where isn't spot for humor?

It’s all about the audience. Any place is a good place for humor. Sitting at a funeral remembering the good times with a dead loved one, perfectly Ok if the audience is correct. Feel it out though. Or be an ass and just don’t let society hold you back. Someone will laugh, even if it’s just you sometimes.

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What should I do? My mom wants to move to New York, but I don’t. I’m turning 20 this month and have the full opportunity to stay in Florida. I REALLY don’t want to move up north. Should I live in a hotel for the time being? I have an entire life here. And I don’t want that to change at all.

You can always come back. 13 years ago I left KansasCity to join the navy. I was stationed in Connecticut, Guam, Hawaii, Flordia, and Maryland. Getting away from home and having that chance to start something new really let’s you meet yourself. I recommend going. Run into the fear and see where it takes you. Nothing is forever and moving back to Florida in your own dollar will be easier than ever trying to leave it on your own. Try new things. Might be cool.

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