How many exes u got ?
I have kissed 4 women.
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Who is your best friend for the moment and why?
Why would I have a best friend if I don't have any friends?
Nobody cares about me in real life.
Nobody cares about me in real life.
Who is the most closest friend that knows everything about u?
I can't say... I'd end up in jail.
I don't really have any friends in real life.
I don't really have any friends in real life.
Related users
Do you prefer fish or meat?
A variety of both. Too much of anything gets tiresome.
I think there could be more seafood dishes that I think highly of rather than beef/pork/chicken/lamb/etc. based recipes.
Hopefully I'll get to my weight goal soon and then my diet will open up. My sleep quality is much better on the ketogenic diet. I've noticed if I eat something carb heavy like pizza for dinner, my sleep is poor the following night. My stress during the day goes up after eating carbs too. I think after I hit my weight goal I'll eat carbs in moderation knowing that my stress goes up if I eat too much.
I think there could be more seafood dishes that I think highly of rather than beef/pork/chicken/lamb/etc. based recipes.
Hopefully I'll get to my weight goal soon and then my diet will open up. My sleep quality is much better on the ketogenic diet. I've noticed if I eat something carb heavy like pizza for dinner, my sleep is poor the following night. My stress during the day goes up after eating carbs too. I think after I hit my weight goal I'll eat carbs in moderation knowing that my stress goes up if I eat too much.
What do you consider to be a healthy relationship?
Something where I can tell anyone else what my life is like and not expect to lose a friend or a job in exchange.
That's not a trust issue with acquaintances, or the need for support. My relationship with my 'significant other' is so bad that people loose confidence in me. It's a pretty much universal reaction to anyone I open my mouth to about what my life is like. I live a life of isolation because I get tired of everyone rejecting me when I open up about anything.
I have never had any of my needs met... Any of them.
It's cool to have details in my life noticed, but that's the only thing that keeps me here right now. I don't have anything else to go on.
It's been like this for over a decade now. It's completely wrecked my life.
I don't know any way this relationship could be more unhealthy.
It's so unhealthy that I feel like the 'significant other' has an expectation that I cheat, but since I haven't cheated she feels I haven't been broken yet and am therefore deserving of more torment and trials within my life.
If she constantly inundates me with gay comments on my feed from her. If she's lesbian or bisexual she wasn't worth any of this ever... she's incompatible with me in the first place. I keep trying to wait for a real life review to see what's going on in person/real life, and I'm judged for my inaction over a twitter handle for permanent life decisions, and my life is made much worse/I'm put through much more. I've always wanted to make real life decisions on real life inputs. I'm tormented by a group of people on the internet even more because of this philosophy.
My relationship isn't just unhealthy, it's hell, or very close to it. Pretty much everything is more healthy than this.
That's not a trust issue with acquaintances, or the need for support. My relationship with my 'significant other' is so bad that people loose confidence in me. It's a pretty much universal reaction to anyone I open my mouth to about what my life is like. I live a life of isolation because I get tired of everyone rejecting me when I open up about anything.
I have never had any of my needs met... Any of them.
It's cool to have details in my life noticed, but that's the only thing that keeps me here right now. I don't have anything else to go on.
It's been like this for over a decade now. It's completely wrecked my life.
I don't know any way this relationship could be more unhealthy.
It's so unhealthy that I feel like the 'significant other' has an expectation that I cheat, but since I haven't cheated she feels I haven't been broken yet and am therefore deserving of more torment and trials within my life.
If she constantly inundates me with gay comments on my feed from her. If she's lesbian or bisexual she wasn't worth any of this ever... she's incompatible with me in the first place. I keep trying to wait for a real life review to see what's going on in person/real life, and I'm judged for my inaction over a twitter handle for permanent life decisions, and my life is made much worse/I'm put through much more. I've always wanted to make real life decisions on real life inputs. I'm tormented by a group of people on the internet even more because of this philosophy.
My relationship isn't just unhealthy, it's hell, or very close to it. Pretty much everything is more healthy than this.
What's on your mind atm???
You took away my ability to provide for myself in my profession by what you did last July and August. It was the worst thing that could happen at a crucial and critical moment.
That is why I must write off at least an additional 6 months of my life now, in addition to having such a difficult time finding employment in the past 6 months.
You crushed me, and you really don't give a shit.
That is why I must write off at least an additional 6 months of my life now, in addition to having such a difficult time finding employment in the past 6 months.
You crushed me, and you really don't give a shit.
What are you most scared of
1st:
Marrying a lesbian/bisexual and having her corrupt my offspring as well as myself. Going from having zero STDs to every STD. Having my existence tortured by a mate that has no regard or respect for my physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, familial, and social well being. Trying to have sexual intimacy with someone who lived/lives a polyamorous life. Marrying someone who is obsessed with domination. Losing my way spiritually due to this person's influence and ending up in hell. Being stuck with someone who has a crass mind and spirit.
In essence, this relationship becoming permanent.
2nd:
Having no will to continue a terrible relationship but through my life being dominated have every other and future option taken away (to where it's pointless to even consider alternate choices).
3rd:
Finding someone else to date and then having them over to dinner and a movie in my fishbowl condo only to have another person implicated in a tormented life (thank you: family). I don't want them to experience what I go through, and I also don't want another person involved.
4th:
Having someone set me up for a crime so that I am put in prison. Having the same person pay off prisoners and guards to put me through unspeakable circumstances that I can't get away from.
Everything else I've experienced or lived through pretty much, at least in equivalent to or greater than pain and hardship.
Marrying a lesbian/bisexual and having her corrupt my offspring as well as myself. Going from having zero STDs to every STD. Having my existence tortured by a mate that has no regard or respect for my physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, familial, and social well being. Trying to have sexual intimacy with someone who lived/lives a polyamorous life. Marrying someone who is obsessed with domination. Losing my way spiritually due to this person's influence and ending up in hell. Being stuck with someone who has a crass mind and spirit.
In essence, this relationship becoming permanent.
2nd:
Having no will to continue a terrible relationship but through my life being dominated have every other and future option taken away (to where it's pointless to even consider alternate choices).
3rd:
Finding someone else to date and then having them over to dinner and a movie in my fishbowl condo only to have another person implicated in a tormented life (thank you: family). I don't want them to experience what I go through, and I also don't want another person involved.
4th:
Having someone set me up for a crime so that I am put in prison. Having the same person pay off prisoners and guards to put me through unspeakable circumstances that I can't get away from.
Everything else I've experienced or lived through pretty much, at least in equivalent to or greater than pain and hardship.
What does it mean to be a human being?
Are my circumstances and how people treat me inhuman or am I inhuman?
What was the most thoughtful gift that you have received
I loved how my grandfather shared his coin collection with me, and whenever I went to visit I would get a few new coins.
He gave me an award winning collection to start - I think a fair or something judged the collection as superior.
When I was bored at my grandparents house in Massachusetts, I would sort the jars of coins he had and pick out a couple new coins. All of these coins were from pre-1964 days. In other words, they were silver or copper, not clad. All of them were worn from circulation. I spent a day or two sorting coins when my parents would bring me to visit during winter or summer breaks from school. They had a goal of visiting each set of grandparents yearly I believe.
When I kept my coins at my parents house, a large amount of my coin collection disappeared. I thought I had given them to my parents to keep in their safe, but they aren't there anymore, and they're no where else to be found. I have never found a large jar that had a lot of sorted by date and grade silver coins of mine. All I have left is the binder my grandfather gave me to start my collection. I think coins are missing there too - maybe just my imagination.
I have never sold any of the coins my grandfather gave me. It was my thought to give them to my grandchildren, if I ever have children.
I have a bunch of clad type coins that I collected myself, but they're worthless beyond face value.
I also valued my Gilbert 1950s erector set that my father passed down to me. I also really liked my American Flyer train collection that was also from the 1950s and passed down from my dad. I think these toys gave me mechanical and electrical aptitude early in life. I was building things with my erector set when I was 3 years old.
Past the age of maybe 8, the rule in my household was I got to pick out one thing for each Christmas and birthday. The item had to be less than $200 in value. I could forgo a gift and save it for a combined bigger gift, which I did a couple times. I never got an allowance of any sort.
My grandmother on my father's side gave me mechanized puzzles routinely. I enjoyed them.
My aunts would give me a sweater routinely or some clothing article for Christmas. They were valuable for being fashionable. It wasn't until college days that I accumulated a good collection of clothes that I liked.
The lawnmower my father bought for me to use was fundamental in my development. I had to maintain my father's property for free though if I wanted to use it elsewhere. It took 3 hours weekly just to mow my parent's property, not including trimming, which I was also supposed to do. I bought my current car with the last of my lawn-mowing money. I always had to buy my own cars.
My father bought me a joystick and a flight simulator program around 1990, among the first generation flight simulators on a PC. I played with it for hours practicing landing planes at the airport in Chicago that is now a marina (in the simulation).
He gave me an award winning collection to start - I think a fair or something judged the collection as superior.
When I was bored at my grandparents house in Massachusetts, I would sort the jars of coins he had and pick out a couple new coins. All of these coins were from pre-1964 days. In other words, they were silver or copper, not clad. All of them were worn from circulation. I spent a day or two sorting coins when my parents would bring me to visit during winter or summer breaks from school. They had a goal of visiting each set of grandparents yearly I believe.
When I kept my coins at my parents house, a large amount of my coin collection disappeared. I thought I had given them to my parents to keep in their safe, but they aren't there anymore, and they're no where else to be found. I have never found a large jar that had a lot of sorted by date and grade silver coins of mine. All I have left is the binder my grandfather gave me to start my collection. I think coins are missing there too - maybe just my imagination.
I have never sold any of the coins my grandfather gave me. It was my thought to give them to my grandchildren, if I ever have children.
I have a bunch of clad type coins that I collected myself, but they're worthless beyond face value.
I also valued my Gilbert 1950s erector set that my father passed down to me. I also really liked my American Flyer train collection that was also from the 1950s and passed down from my dad. I think these toys gave me mechanical and electrical aptitude early in life. I was building things with my erector set when I was 3 years old.
Past the age of maybe 8, the rule in my household was I got to pick out one thing for each Christmas and birthday. The item had to be less than $200 in value. I could forgo a gift and save it for a combined bigger gift, which I did a couple times. I never got an allowance of any sort.
My grandmother on my father's side gave me mechanized puzzles routinely. I enjoyed them.
My aunts would give me a sweater routinely or some clothing article for Christmas. They were valuable for being fashionable. It wasn't until college days that I accumulated a good collection of clothes that I liked.
The lawnmower my father bought for me to use was fundamental in my development. I had to maintain my father's property for free though if I wanted to use it elsewhere. It took 3 hours weekly just to mow my parent's property, not including trimming, which I was also supposed to do. I bought my current car with the last of my lawn-mowing money. I always had to buy my own cars.
My father bought me a joystick and a flight simulator program around 1990, among the first generation flight simulators on a PC. I played with it for hours practicing landing planes at the airport in Chicago that is now a marina (in the simulation).
Does one of your senses provide a more "real" experience for you, than the others, which and why? :)
Every one of the 5 senses is equally valuable and 'real' to me.
My best talent is, since 6th grade, every day, multiple times per day, I've asked God for wisdom and discernment like Solomon's.
God has given me some of my request.
I can infer tremendous amounts of information from things that 95% of people completely miss. I notice details and subtleties. They are very important to me. I assemble everything I see into logical constructs and test different ideas for credibility and likelihood. Critical thinking is my best sense. It is not the input sources that matter, although if I was deficient in any one I wouldn't have nearly as much capability.
From memory:
"The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."
I'm going to look up what verse this is now:
It is roughly Proverbs 1:7. Some translations translate the last word as discipline, some translate it as instruction.
Anyways, it is a foundational verse in my life.
The reason being, you can have an ivy league education and a terminal degree, but if you start with the assumption that God doesn't exist and God has no place in your life, the true God, you miss out on even elementary truths and understandings that define the world around us. In essence, your education has created and reinforced false constructs. All the information in the world can't save your soul, only Jesus can. This idea goes far deeper than the salvation of a soul.
It is amazing seeing the world around me through the lens of a biblical worldview. With a mature understanding of scripture and apologetics, and using this to view the world around me, I can say it takes far less faith to believe in the God of the Bible then it takes to believe in a godless universe arrived at by chance. There is tremendous evidence for my faith, as you would expect if it were true.
Another verse from memory:
"The heavens declare the glory of the Lord."
I'm going to look up what it is now.
Psalm 19:1 (NIV) "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."
This is another verse that empowers my life. The world around me speaks to a magnificent God that has great skill and power. As an engineer, there are so many magnificent designs around me in nature that we are only beginning to understand, even today with all of our technology. To think that any working system is arrived at by chance is beyond me. When I look around me, I see very careful and purposeful thought in almost everything useful or valuable.
The only sense that I struggle with is the voice of The Holy Spirit, which is a very faint whisper. Frequently I wonder about whether I should listen. My mind demands only logic driven by direct sense and knowledge. What if God was trying to help me? I think the spiritual world interacts with us all, both good and evil. Everything must be tested against the revealed words of God, the Bible. God can never conflict himself.
My best talent is, since 6th grade, every day, multiple times per day, I've asked God for wisdom and discernment like Solomon's.
God has given me some of my request.
I can infer tremendous amounts of information from things that 95% of people completely miss. I notice details and subtleties. They are very important to me. I assemble everything I see into logical constructs and test different ideas for credibility and likelihood. Critical thinking is my best sense. It is not the input sources that matter, although if I was deficient in any one I wouldn't have nearly as much capability.
From memory:
"The fear of God is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."
I'm going to look up what verse this is now:
It is roughly Proverbs 1:7. Some translations translate the last word as discipline, some translate it as instruction.
Anyways, it is a foundational verse in my life.
The reason being, you can have an ivy league education and a terminal degree, but if you start with the assumption that God doesn't exist and God has no place in your life, the true God, you miss out on even elementary truths and understandings that define the world around us. In essence, your education has created and reinforced false constructs. All the information in the world can't save your soul, only Jesus can. This idea goes far deeper than the salvation of a soul.
It is amazing seeing the world around me through the lens of a biblical worldview. With a mature understanding of scripture and apologetics, and using this to view the world around me, I can say it takes far less faith to believe in the God of the Bible then it takes to believe in a godless universe arrived at by chance. There is tremendous evidence for my faith, as you would expect if it were true.
Another verse from memory:
"The heavens declare the glory of the Lord."
I'm going to look up what it is now.
Psalm 19:1 (NIV) "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."
This is another verse that empowers my life. The world around me speaks to a magnificent God that has great skill and power. As an engineer, there are so many magnificent designs around me in nature that we are only beginning to understand, even today with all of our technology. To think that any working system is arrived at by chance is beyond me. When I look around me, I see very careful and purposeful thought in almost everything useful or valuable.
The only sense that I struggle with is the voice of The Holy Spirit, which is a very faint whisper. Frequently I wonder about whether I should listen. My mind demands only logic driven by direct sense and knowledge. What if God was trying to help me? I think the spiritual world interacts with us all, both good and evil. Everything must be tested against the revealed words of God, the Bible. God can never conflict himself.
Mind sharing what's going through your mind right now?
I need about a month to completely recover from my project. I have like 1 day instead. I am oversupplied in tools. There will be returns of things I don't use. However, I needed them on hand in case that was the only way to finish.
The two problems that I am solving is 2 wires to the doorbell were cut by construction workers who didn't care. I will fix that unless running the wires is a nightmare.
The other problem is the same construction workers didn't square the trim around the door, and the screen door is mounted to the trim. That means there is a significant gap at the top right that bugs fly in through during the night when I leave my door cracked. The wood was rotted so I'm replacing it. At the bottom, several inches of the trim had disintegrated from water exposure. I'm replacing it with PVC trim, which I have to paint to match the old trim.
This is too much to handle in one day, but I'll see what I can do.
Employment is a priority. That could work out possibly on Monday. I think it's going to be a short notice fill given what I've heard. If my project is incomplete I'll end up hiring someone to finish it for me.
The two problems that I am solving is 2 wires to the doorbell were cut by construction workers who didn't care. I will fix that unless running the wires is a nightmare.
The other problem is the same construction workers didn't square the trim around the door, and the screen door is mounted to the trim. That means there is a significant gap at the top right that bugs fly in through during the night when I leave my door cracked. The wood was rotted so I'm replacing it. At the bottom, several inches of the trim had disintegrated from water exposure. I'm replacing it with PVC trim, which I have to paint to match the old trim.
This is too much to handle in one day, but I'll see what I can do.
Employment is a priority. That could work out possibly on Monday. I think it's going to be a short notice fill given what I've heard. If my project is incomplete I'll end up hiring someone to finish it for me.
What is your favorite place to eat?
My favorite experiences so far were here:
https://www.gyu-kaku.com/chicago
I also thoroughly enjoy sushi restaurants with deep specialty role menus as well as a good variety of Nigiri selection. I typically have to visit a sushi restaurant with deep specialty menus more than 3 times to get an appreciation for the cooks technique. I can usually pick out the flavors I like from an ingredients list, although sometimes the presentation comes out differently than I expect.
The restaurateur in Louisville who's sushi skill I appreciated the most went out of business because he had a terrible location. I haven't found a sushi menu, product and presentation I appreciated more than his. If I was wealthy and I had an event that I needed skilled creations made at, I would be tempted to hire him for the event. He was somewhat of a friend.
https://www.gyu-kaku.com/chicago
I also thoroughly enjoy sushi restaurants with deep specialty role menus as well as a good variety of Nigiri selection. I typically have to visit a sushi restaurant with deep specialty menus more than 3 times to get an appreciation for the cooks technique. I can usually pick out the flavors I like from an ingredients list, although sometimes the presentation comes out differently than I expect.
The restaurateur in Louisville who's sushi skill I appreciated the most went out of business because he had a terrible location. I haven't found a sushi menu, product and presentation I appreciated more than his. If I was wealthy and I had an event that I needed skilled creations made at, I would be tempted to hire him for the event. He was somewhat of a friend.
How do you treat people in general?
I lost it with my father today over an email chain that escalated.
I always forgive people, even if I'm really bothered. I also ask God to bless those I'm at odds with. Those events happened today, but truth is if I interacted with my father tomorrow, apart from my father's reaction I could act as if nothing was said in the past 48 hours.
I have harbored the thoughts expressed today for years. We have had a civil relationship despite what I interpreted going on in the background, beneath the surface. Others have noticed what was going on outside of my family. Everything I said was true, although it may not be admitted as such. I am not sorry for my words - they were accurate.
I hope that someday my words and the realization that I'm aware of things beneath the surface results in repentance and an expression of forgiveness from me (on my part). I hope that my expression results in restoration rather than separation. I do not currently harbor anger, even though I have a right to it.
The things I've been put through are unheard of, and unbelievable to most. While it seems there may be a positive ending, they were certainly not a positive experience.
I hope that those who opposed me find blessing in my future success as I will, even if they were complicit to or even enablers of my suffering. I will still include them in my life, despite what I have seen.
Life is too short to harbor hatred to those around me. God is also a big proponent of forgiveness Himself, going so far to say that our forgiveness of others is a prerequisite for Christs forgiveness of our own sins against God.
James 3:9-12
"9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
It is in the spirit of this scripture in James that I feel I have a duty to bless all those around me, in word and deed. Ironically, if you upset me, you are more likely to be blessed then someone whom I have a positive relationship with. If I'm fixated on a frustration, it is a spiritual defense to pray blessings over those I'm frustrated with. When I'm particularly bothered, this scripture comes to the forefront of my mind, sometimes playing on repeat.
I'm not an emotional person. In fact, I can keep my composure in almost any circumstance. Honestly, today I wasn't particularly bothered. I have observed backstabbing in critical circumstances and relationships in my life for at least a decade. It has cost a great deal. Years of my life. It would be great if it were a misconception, but I have watched cause and effect play out many times for many years.
I hope these people are eventually restored.
I always forgive people, even if I'm really bothered. I also ask God to bless those I'm at odds with. Those events happened today, but truth is if I interacted with my father tomorrow, apart from my father's reaction I could act as if nothing was said in the past 48 hours.
I have harbored the thoughts expressed today for years. We have had a civil relationship despite what I interpreted going on in the background, beneath the surface. Others have noticed what was going on outside of my family. Everything I said was true, although it may not be admitted as such. I am not sorry for my words - they were accurate.
I hope that someday my words and the realization that I'm aware of things beneath the surface results in repentance and an expression of forgiveness from me (on my part). I hope that my expression results in restoration rather than separation. I do not currently harbor anger, even though I have a right to it.
The things I've been put through are unheard of, and unbelievable to most. While it seems there may be a positive ending, they were certainly not a positive experience.
I hope that those who opposed me find blessing in my future success as I will, even if they were complicit to or even enablers of my suffering. I will still include them in my life, despite what I have seen.
Life is too short to harbor hatred to those around me. God is also a big proponent of forgiveness Himself, going so far to say that our forgiveness of others is a prerequisite for Christs forgiveness of our own sins against God.
James 3:9-12
"9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."
It is in the spirit of this scripture in James that I feel I have a duty to bless all those around me, in word and deed. Ironically, if you upset me, you are more likely to be blessed then someone whom I have a positive relationship with. If I'm fixated on a frustration, it is a spiritual defense to pray blessings over those I'm frustrated with. When I'm particularly bothered, this scripture comes to the forefront of my mind, sometimes playing on repeat.
I'm not an emotional person. In fact, I can keep my composure in almost any circumstance. Honestly, today I wasn't particularly bothered. I have observed backstabbing in critical circumstances and relationships in my life for at least a decade. It has cost a great deal. Years of my life. It would be great if it were a misconception, but I have watched cause and effect play out many times for many years.
I hope these people are eventually restored.
A portal to another world opens in front of you. You don’t know how long it will stay open or if you’ll be able to get back after you go through. What do you do?And which world would you choose ? A reminder , you might not be able to get back again !
Yes, I'm open to a new life.
Philosophically with disregard to my situation I think this is a bad question. The opportunity cost for choosing something that you have no knowledge of whatsoever seems like unacceptable risk. With the portal question, you aren't even guaranteed similar physics or life support in the new world you portal to.
You have a choice between something you know works, and something that is completely random, possibly a completely inhospitable reality. The ability to explore prior to commitment is the prerequisite to sound decision making.
You explored every potential detail for 12 years prior to commitment.
Philosophically with disregard to my situation I think this is a bad question. The opportunity cost for choosing something that you have no knowledge of whatsoever seems like unacceptable risk. With the portal question, you aren't even guaranteed similar physics or life support in the new world you portal to.
You have a choice between something you know works, and something that is completely random, possibly a completely inhospitable reality. The ability to explore prior to commitment is the prerequisite to sound decision making.
You explored every potential detail for 12 years prior to commitment.
Song of the day
They're normally premeditated for several weeks. Not spontaneous. At least the ones that communicate something.
I should DJ all my songs over the years that meant something at some event. I have about 2 hours worth of material. Don't know who would listen though.... I have niche taste.
I should DJ all my songs over the years that meant something at some event. I have about 2 hours worth of material. Don't know who would listen though.... I have niche taste.
What is the most difficult age for you? How can we avoid these difficulties?
I have insight into this, but I don't feel like posting it online. I don't think my experience would be repeated.
How to destroy a life. I need specific people to change. If you don't change, I hope God deals most severely with you.
RML is a total looser in my book and an arch-enemy of myself and everything I consider good.
You obviously want to set up a straw (wo)man and make me absolutely hate her.
If RML was you, I wouldn't want anything to do with her, no matter her resources or wealth.
The problem is I see two moves ahead of where I'm at. You are either going to absolutely torment me and further make my life an absolute shit-hole, or you are going to let me get a relationship away and then act like a temptress and do everything to convince me that RML wasn't you in the first place and that you are really a decent person despite having tormented my life for 12 years, or both.
I don't want to let you create a bigger mess out of my life then it already is. I don't want more people to suffer from your monstrosity. I don't want to be put through you further making an absolute shit-hole of my life. I don't want my efforts to salvage my life ruined. You absolutely dominate everything in my life. Do I let you destroy my plan B? I don't think so. You have destroyed everything you aren't even supposed to be around.
If RML represents your own beliefs, they are totally and completely unsuitable for me, unlimited wealth included.
What do I do? I really don't know! You control every aspect of everything around me! How do I fight someone who absolutely dominates and crushes my life? How do I have a plan B with someone else? This is an absolute nightmare, but there is also no way to wake up from it!
The people who are closest to me are not loyal to me. None of them are. Plan B only starts to make sense when these people stick up for me rather than enabling you. Because of their betrayal, you have control of absolutely unbelievable things! You have control of things that are so nonsensical that apart from people who have betrayed me and are in the know, my credibility with my accusations against you is zero! What you have done is that far beyond belief. You have destroyed me for the sake of a power trip. I hope God deals severely with you!
You obviously want to set up a straw (wo)man and make me absolutely hate her.
If RML was you, I wouldn't want anything to do with her, no matter her resources or wealth.
The problem is I see two moves ahead of where I'm at. You are either going to absolutely torment me and further make my life an absolute shit-hole, or you are going to let me get a relationship away and then act like a temptress and do everything to convince me that RML wasn't you in the first place and that you are really a decent person despite having tormented my life for 12 years, or both.
I don't want to let you create a bigger mess out of my life then it already is. I don't want more people to suffer from your monstrosity. I don't want to be put through you further making an absolute shit-hole of my life. I don't want my efforts to salvage my life ruined. You absolutely dominate everything in my life. Do I let you destroy my plan B? I don't think so. You have destroyed everything you aren't even supposed to be around.
If RML represents your own beliefs, they are totally and completely unsuitable for me, unlimited wealth included.
What do I do? I really don't know! You control every aspect of everything around me! How do I fight someone who absolutely dominates and crushes my life? How do I have a plan B with someone else? This is an absolute nightmare, but there is also no way to wake up from it!
The people who are closest to me are not loyal to me. None of them are. Plan B only starts to make sense when these people stick up for me rather than enabling you. Because of their betrayal, you have control of absolutely unbelievable things! You have control of things that are so nonsensical that apart from people who have betrayed me and are in the know, my credibility with my accusations against you is zero! What you have done is that far beyond belief. You have destroyed me for the sake of a power trip. I hope God deals severely with you!
How often do you visit skating rink?
Last time I went to a skating rink was midway through Cedarville (college). I somewhat enjoy skating, for the most part I've never had anyone to go with - I have very few friends if any. I invested my life into someone who doesn't want me.
What body piercings do you want
I'm not into body piercings.
Heart piercings seem to happen all the time.
People I invested my life in are more interested in destroying me then loving me. I think if these people had enemies, the way they treat me is several orders of magnitude worse. I know very few ways how my life could be systematically cursed more than it is.
Change is very much needed.
Heart piercings seem to happen all the time.
People I invested my life in are more interested in destroying me then loving me. I think if these people had enemies, the way they treat me is several orders of magnitude worse. I know very few ways how my life could be systematically cursed more than it is.
Change is very much needed.
What worries you the most?
Finding a way to survive, upending my life, having to start all over on pretty much everything. Trading survival for having to start over on everything, which seems like it has to be done. I really don't want to have to pack up all my stuff (yet again) to survive, just to become forgotten, uncomfortable, unestablished and all on my own.
Then after I traded all my comfort, resources and relationships to survive, something will inevitably screw up my opportunity beyond my control and I'll have to move back with razor thin resources and margins and continue merely surviving except with even more black marks. Having to unpack all my belongings to make sense of my life again and create order from chaos, all while being tremendously stuck. The futility of this spiral.
Nobody ever sticks up for me - in fact I fully expect my life to be continually ruined and outright tormented by people I invested a great deal of effort in to establish friendships that instead turned out to be the worst nightmare possibly conceivable.
Bad relationships don't scare me as much as the futility of the downward spiral that I've dealt with for like a decade continuing where my best efforts are arranged against me. I can cull the relationships. The problem is these undead relationships continually curse my life... it seems nothing positive can come from them. No decency whatsoever.
Song of the day:
https://youtu.be/f2ihntj8js4
Then after I traded all my comfort, resources and relationships to survive, something will inevitably screw up my opportunity beyond my control and I'll have to move back with razor thin resources and margins and continue merely surviving except with even more black marks. Having to unpack all my belongings to make sense of my life again and create order from chaos, all while being tremendously stuck. The futility of this spiral.
Nobody ever sticks up for me - in fact I fully expect my life to be continually ruined and outright tormented by people I invested a great deal of effort in to establish friendships that instead turned out to be the worst nightmare possibly conceivable.
Bad relationships don't scare me as much as the futility of the downward spiral that I've dealt with for like a decade continuing where my best efforts are arranged against me. I can cull the relationships. The problem is these undead relationships continually curse my life... it seems nothing positive can come from them. No decency whatsoever.
Song of the day:
https://youtu.be/f2ihntj8js4
What to write with chalk on the asphalt under the windows of a loved one?
I bet you can't read all of Psalm 109 out loud in one sitting.
What first comes to your mind with the word 'Marriage'? 🌚
I'm taking hits from the left and right constantly. My life has been largely ruined without any consideration for my well being.
In a week from today I will decide on a career path that requires more than 3 years of commitment. I lost considerable stature asking for a week to decide. If I back out I am finished professionally.
Please have enough respect for me to end this horror of a game and make my investment in this something more than a can of worms. Otherwise I need this to end.
If the past is any indicator, marriage sounds like the seventh circle of hell.
In a week from today I will decide on a career path that requires more than 3 years of commitment. I lost considerable stature asking for a week to decide. If I back out I am finished professionally.
Please have enough respect for me to end this horror of a game and make my investment in this something more than a can of worms. Otherwise I need this to end.
If the past is any indicator, marriage sounds like the seventh circle of hell.
How to separate from a girl?
Her presented beliefs are in stark contrast to my own. That does not lead to a healthy, sustainable relationship. I don't see security in someone who for months and years continually finds the most disagreeable beliefs and philosophies to lament.
If I need to stand on my own, I will stand on my own.
If I need to stand on my own, I will stand on my own.
Do u work better under stress ?
I don't know.
I know I get more things done under stress than if I'm left on my own. An issue is my life doesn't have sufficient structure. I would want to see my output with a structured life that didn't necessarily contain stress prior to saying for certain.
Under a certain amount of stress I could see getting work done but not living especially long. Some stress is fine. If deadlines and the need for performance is paramount to the point of consuming my life it will do just that, if it's an ongoing, permanent lifestyle need.
I am certain stress affects me more negatively than most, once I reach a specific threshold. Up to that point there may be some positive benefits.
I know I get more things done under stress than if I'm left on my own. An issue is my life doesn't have sufficient structure. I would want to see my output with a structured life that didn't necessarily contain stress prior to saying for certain.
Under a certain amount of stress I could see getting work done but not living especially long. Some stress is fine. If deadlines and the need for performance is paramount to the point of consuming my life it will do just that, if it's an ongoing, permanent lifestyle need.
I am certain stress affects me more negatively than most, once I reach a specific threshold. Up to that point there may be some positive benefits.
Why dont you cut your hair?
I'm thinking Thursday is a good day for this.
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