does the loose skin thing hurt your self esteem? i gained 20lbs my first year of university. ive lost the weight now, but im stuck with the hideous stretch marks. it really bums me out because they never go away. it makes me hate myself for letting myself ever get fat. how do you deal with that

It really sucks, I'm not going to lie. It throws off my clothes sizes; i'm a size larger in the stomach than the rest of the area that shirts cover. It goes down towards the waist, which boosts up my jean size (meaning I can't find a truly slim pair of pants, just baggy or skinny). I hate it.
But you know what I would hate more than the loose skin? The fat still being in there. One day it'll go away or I'll be able to afford the surgery. But I brought myself to the best shape of my life. It's a badge of honour until then.