KeepYourEyesPeeled

I'm on a heavy relapse streak at the moment. I've never gone further than about 20 days without relapsing. I want to change but I'm struggling with the mentally with the whole process. Any tips to grow stronger, stamp out these petty urges and free myself from the chains of my urges? In my journey i find cold showers verry helpful.if i had an urge i go under the cold shower and i stayed there for like 5-7 minuites.the cold shower will gave you a shock and you will not thinking about the urge.Or you could go out to public places.you will not fap at the centre of a big mall( i hope)and you will not think about sexual things after 15 minuites because it will not be comfortable.you can go for a run or workout.if youre a pro at meditation, you can meditate, and realize this is just a thought too and you can just let go. Connect with the breath. Meditate daily and alternate sitting and walking meditation when you have time. Sit 15/walk 15/sit 15. Fill your mind with spiritual books and teachings. This is a mental battle and we need all the encouragement we can get. Society doesn't encourage what we are doing so it is best to listen to monks/nuns who are living at a higher and deeper level of spirituality.
I have a wonderful boyfriend since 6 years now (I am 22). Because of our conflicting schedules and the fact we are living separately, I don't get to see him very often those last months. I am happy if I manage to get sex once per month. I am not sure how to make this work out better, I am in medical school and he is very busy as well. Anyways, he has always been there for me as my best friend, he understands me, he is just perfect in every way... However, I talk to all those good-looking men on a daily basis, it is hard to resist the temptation to flirt, I might even do it unconsciously... Of course, I would never cheat. I am just tired of getting those mental images of me having sex with male colleague/friends... Day-dreaming about how it would feel while knowing it could never happen. I can't even concentrate on my work sometimes. I am just very unhappy. I wanted to get that out there. Thanks. Majority of teenagers are addicted to PMO or slave to their sexual urges. It really needs courage to accept your weakness and determination to come out of this addiction. I'm glad you all guys took this decision to become a better version of yourself. Majority of people out there who are slave of this addiction don't wanna talk about it and treating this addiction just as an excuse to escape their reality. Don't fall into this category.

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Depends what peace or freedom means. Does freedom mean the ability to do whatever to whomever without consequence? Does peace mean that there would be nothing wrong with the world, but you aren't allowed to do what you chose without permission? If that is the detailed choices I would chose peace. If not explain in more details and I'll update my answer.
Freedom. I went to a Catholic School and a teacher told me that "There is no such thing as negative emotions in heaven, pain suffering, hunger has all vanished." Well Naturally that got me thinking, (not religious btw but I like to be philosophical once in a while) Well does that mean humans are incapable of creating suffering for one another? Because then that means that people in heaven wouldn't be who they are on earth, they would be in some sort of alternative state of being rather than our current one where we can experience a whole spectrum of emotions rather than the ones that are positive. This could just be translated as a world at peace as well. Two people can have very different ideas as to what peace would be, no disagreements would require everyone to believe and think in the same way. Even in a high school in order to have peace you would have to understand how everyone is working and understand their intentions. Peace would only be attainable if everyone lived as part of a docile hivemind of no straying of opinion like it's 1984, The WBC or Aldous Huxley's a brave new world. Freedom on the other hand is experiencing the world around you in the purest sense. You will be angry out raged and heartbroken. People will kill. People will steal and burn and rape but a the end of the day you have a choice you can say no. You can decide that this is wrong because it hurts other people and rather than not experience suffering at all you can learn from it. Generations of starvation taught our ancestors to raise their own crops and it was thousands of people dying of infections and disease which taught us to clean our knives before putting them in people. Hardship caused by the choices of others made us evolve and adapt. With peace there is no progress. Freedom is reality. the only way to live. There's nothing wrong with the idea of peace. Hell, most religions even believe that peace is only achievable after great destruction. The things that would have to happen in order to get peace make peace less worthy of having. "Equilibrium" is one of my favorite movies. They have "peace" but are not allowed to feel emotion. So they are slaves. I hope one day we will be able to live all together in peace.

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I have to journal each day. Otherwise my thoughts go to mush, or to endless repeat, or to the forgettery. I'm a fast typist but hand-writing is so painfully slow and illegible that I never hand-write by choice. This is one of the common curses of being a left-hander. My father gave me a typewriter and a practice manual when I was 14, and I've never looked back since
I have a few more questions. How do you "justify" whether something is on the list and what needs to go? As an example: I work in IT and use two monitors. They're not required, but they help me do my job better. How did you handle things like these where it's a nice to have but not a requirement? Is it as simple as, necessity = keep, nice to have = bye? I'm sure this is highly individual, but looking for some insight. Obviously you have a ukelele, which means you have some "unnecessary" things on your list. I have a guitar, which I'm going to definitely keep on my list.
My oven! I spent the last 6 weeks without an oven because of construction on gas lines in my apartment complex and I absolutely hated it. I love baking, it's my passion and my love. I couldn't bake any bread or anything and my heart literally felt like it was hurting.
Quiet time. I think many of us are feeling the need for quiet time away from family and the noise of the world, media etc.. On the few occasions I went hiking this year, even the trails were crowded. Books, tea and cozy blanket. Nothing feels more relaxing to sit and get lost in a good book with a hot cup of tea. Doesn't matter if it's a physical book or on my kindle, so long as the story captures me and takes me away., My sketch kit. I am an artist and regularly have gallery shows. Most of my time is usually producing finished work for the galleries. Back in August I had hand surgery and prior to that I had limited use of my hand. As a result I spent most of this year doing nothing more than sketching with clutch pencils in my sketchbook. I had forgotten how relaxing and reward this activity was. So even if I never produce finished work again, I will always sketch.
Your real question is what are the luxuries we have decided we want in our lives. For me: a way to listen to music, access to books, things which help me sleep (chilipad + eye mask), a good knife and pan for food prep, performance clothing for outdoor activities, a location that lets me hike in hills with big trees, my bicycle for transportation, fitness, fun, and most important, a community to be part of. For the complete list, I guess it would be items that are boldface on my gear list. They've been absolutely essential during this whole covid thing to the point I'm almost dreading when things start going back to normal and the social calendar (and commuting to work, ugh) start back up again. As much as I love my friends and family, and enjoyed seeing them a lot pre-covid, it's been so nice to have a few quiet months with barely anything happening.

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That's absolutely not the case. You must have known by now that I'm only attracted to men. i don't feel any romantic attraction to women. I'm male and have been identifying as bisexual. Females are a natural attraction to me, but when it comes to guys, im like gimmie cock, more cocks and cum! But a romantic connection with a Male is offputting to me. Like I'd work 2 cocks at once, drain both their sacks, but if a guy tries kiss me or get lovey with me I'm grossed out.. Am I bisexual? Bi curious? Or something else? I used to feel the same way when i became comfortable with accepting that i was attracted to men sexually. Then I fell in love with my boyfriend and i realized the only reason I was so averse to it was because i had barely ever thought about it. Growing up thinking i was straight, because i was attracted to women, made it so I fell into heteronormative bullshit of thinking that a relationship with a man is fundamentally different than one with a woman. The truth is that the difference between genders is pretty meaningless if youre attacted to multiple genders. You get to sort out your own shit and everyines different but I recommend not tying yourself down to only dating woman, especially because youre probably really young.
I used to think that about myself until very recently. Less than a year ago I would say that I loved women but was only sexually attracted to men. However the more I thought about my life and my childhood the more examples I found of instances where I had repressed being in love or having crushes on other males. In these instances realizing that I'd had feelings for these guys helped make a lot of sense out of many situations. Im in the exact same boat, except I wouldn't mind making out a bit. Lots of guys I've met have said the same, and boy is that a recipe for the perfect fuck buddies. Nothing wrong with it, just do your best not to lead anyone on. I know I'm bisexual, I'm not asking if I am or am not. For some background, I'm a bi male. I currently have my first boyfriend right now, with many ex girlfriends in the past. I couldn't be happier- this is the happiest I've ever been in a relationship, and the first time I've ever felt real love for someone. Anyway, I digress. What I've noticed, is that I find many women sexually attractive, while not so much for men. I don't have a type for women, but with men, I have a very specific type I'll date, and I'm very, very picky. Call me an asshole or immature- its just how I am. I'm not sexually attracted to basically any men- I'm only sexually and emotionally attracted to my current boyfriend, and that's it. Also, what I've noticed, is that I've been more emotionally and romantically in love and engaged with my current boyfriend than any of my girlfriends in the past. I truly feel like we have a loving connection, and I haven't felt this with any females before. I'm just curious whether or not this is normal, or if any of you can relate.

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On a beau se parler souvent, je n'oublie pas le proverbe qui dit que les paroles s'envolent, mais que les écrits restent. Alors, il faut que j'écrive à quel point je t'aime. À quel point tu m'as transformée, épanouie. À quel point je suis heureuse d'être ta copine. Partager ta vie est un vrai enchantement, voilà pourquoi il était important de l'inscrire sur le papier, pour que chaque fois que je te manque, tu relises ce courrier et penses à moi. Je t'aime d'un amour sans failles. J'ai beau prendre la plume avec plaisir pour te dire à quel point je t'aime, aucun mot n'est assez fort pour te dire à quel point tes bras me manquent. Chaque seconde passée dans tes bras, mon chéri, est un enchantement et un trésor que je veux garder précieusement. Je t'aime, plus que tout au monde.
Lorsque nous nous sommes connus, je ne croyais plus en moi, et je ne croyais plus en l'amour. À force de patience, de mise en confiance, de douceur et de tendresse - quatre qualités rares chez les hommes -, tu as su, mon amour, me rendre rayonnante. Dans ton regard, je me sens beau et valorisé; dans mon cœur, tous les sentiments de bonheur s'entrechoquent. Merci à toi d'avoir illuminé une vie, que j'aspire désormais à partager avec toi jusqu'au bout. Je t'aime. Un seul regard m'a suffi à t'aimer, une seule de tes paroles suffit à me rassurer, un seul de tes gestes suffit à me sentir désirée. C'est ça, l'amour : se comprendre sans se parler, parfois. Mais aujourd'hui, j'ai aussi envie de l'inscrire sur papier, trois mots qui sont forts et sincères : je t'aime. J’ai envie de me perdre dans tes bras, tu me fais vibrer avec ta douce voie, tu es ma dernière pensée avant de dormir tu es mon seul plaisir et ma joie pour sourire.
Je t’ai aimé au premier regard. Tu m’inspires, tu m’aspires, tu me fascines, tu me rends fou de toi. Mon endroit préféré dans le monde c’est dans tes bras, mes yeux dans tes beaux yeux. J'aime me noyer dans ton regard, je t’aime. Je me suis couché en pensant à toi, je me suis réveillé en pensant à toi et j’ai passé la journée avec le sourire qui n’a pas quitté mes lèvres en pensent à toi. Mon amour tu as été toujours là pour moi, quand je voyais un ciel nuageux, tu m’as fait voir un grand ciel bleu. Quand j’étais seul dans un silence assourdissant, tu m’as fait entendre des mélodies d’amour, je t’aime. Tu allumes en moi la sublime étincelle,
T'es mon bonheur, ma gloire, mon dieu !
Et ma pensée suit un rythme qui ruisselle,
Comme un métal au moule harmonieux. Quand je te vois mon cœur se précipite, c'est un pur bonheur, ce corps adorable, tu marches lentement et moi mon cœur se met à palpiter car t'as pu conquérir mon âme intraitable. Sage comme la mer en sa sérénité,
Me parfumant de baisers, j'suis heureux, jamais les jours n'ont terni ta beauté, je suis fou dingue de toi et amoureux.

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Strength: ability to utilize the mind to process information quickly and efficiently; I got through world history by trusting my gut on tests after I came to lectures and read the book. Mental images are tools that I use deeply to analyze and understand and predict. I'm jealous. I never remember details, just situations, maybe some memorable comments, and the overall outcome. When people challenge me to provide proof with explicit memories I fail and just don't even bother anymore. However, I am really good at remembering number related details.
Weakness: actually giving a fuck about other peoples problems. "Oh my god I can't pay my car insurance" well. Shouldn't have spent 45 dollars on a tshirt to go chase dick in and another 60 to get your pubes waxed for some terrible sex that you regret every time you do it. Maybe if your fupa wasn't so big you'd be less self conscious and not feel like you need a completely unnecessary luxury service. Maybe if you lost 60 pounds and stopped pounding little debbies your vag wouldn't smell like the local landfill after the hatchery dumped fish after an accidental fish kill.
Weaknesses: I assume the worst in people. I think I’m good at reading others usually I’m right but I don’t think enough to try and evaluate the situation usually I just assume based off of vibes. I have a temper I say things out of anger inthe heat of the moment and can’t argue well so I over compensate with anger. Social skills. I don’t want to communicate with people often since I communicate naturally like an intj so in order to communicate with normies I have to throw more energy into and talk about things I might not otherwise. Social skills are also useful for me to strengthen for job interviews and being comfortable with international travels. Intimacy and emotions are also up there but in a way they’re all related/interconnected.
My kindness and compassion for others. I make other people a priority, especially when they need someone. I forgive anyone, save for my rapists and abusers, and always am willing to welcome people back into my life. My creativity/ability to write 10k words a day. I've always loved writing, so I can easily write a 50k novel for my clients in five days! My openness. I do my best not to judge anyone or jump to conclusions. First impressions aren't everything, and a diamond can be hiding behind something that you'd usually avoid if you gave someone time and got to know them. I'm an emotionally vulnerable person and I wear everything I feel on my skin. I'm emotionally impulsive when I'm not on my meds. It's a double edged sword. My anxiety and depression play into this as well. I have no impulse control or discipline when it comes to working out and dieting. I so badly want to work out, do yoga, and go vegetarian but I just can't. I'm indecisive. I get anxious just choosing between two things because I get overwhelmed so easily.

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Est-ce qu'on a été en couple? Serait-ce toi mon amour, Simon? J’étais tellement jeune, tellement fragile, tellement passionnée vis-à-vis ce tout nouveau sentiment, vis-à-vis ce que je ressentais pour toi. J’ai plongé dans l’océan de l’amour, tête première, sans me poser de questions. J’ai plongé, parce que je savais que tu m’attendais au fond. Cependant, j’ai eu mal. Un mal qui me tourmentait et qui me brisait. Quand on est jeune et qu’on rencontre notre premier amour, on ne protège pas notre cœur, car on ne sait tout simplement pas comment s’y prendre. C’est normal, on n’a aucune idée à quel point un mal d’amour peut s’avérer douloureux. Selon moi, c’est aussi ce qui rend les premiers amours aussi forts et uniques. Je t’aime plus parce que tu m’as montré ce que c’est d’aimer. Tu m’as prouvé que, quelque part, ce sentiment existait au fond de moi.
Je t’aime parce que tu m’as fait sourire. Tellement que, quand j’y repense, je souris instantanément. Je t’aime parce que tu as gravé ma mémoire de souvenirs, aussi banals qu’ils soient. Des souvenirs tellement heureux. Tu as marqué ma jeunesse avec tes yeux en amande, ton sourire sincère et ton rire charmeur. Je te déteste et t’aime tellement à la fois…
Tu es l’amour que toutes, ou presque, rencontrent une fois dans leur vie, mais rares sont celles qui le préserve. Selon moi, tout est une question de moment, d’âge, de maturité…C’est aussi ce qui fait la beauté de la chose. Je ne saurai te dire d’ailleurs pourquoi je t’écris cette lettre aujourd’hui.
Je pense que la curiosité m’y a poussée. L’envie de savoir ce que tu devenais, si tu allais bien. Pour tout te dire, je suis retombée par hasard sur les photos de classe de mes années lycée. Les fameuses photos inavouables sur lesquelles on se trouve affreux tant on avait un look improbable et qui nous font bien rire des années après. Cela semble très loin maintenant c’est vrai, j’en ai conscience. Mais à la faveur d’un déménagement récent, en faisant mes cartons, je suis donc tombée sur mes affaires d’adolescente parmi lesquelles il y avait mes agendas, mes carnets avec les mots de mes copines, les fameuses photos de classe et quelques mots de toi. Il faut dire qu’on n’est plus si jeunes et que pour nous à l’époque, le lycée ne rimait pas encore avec la folie des SMS de maintenant.
Tu as fait ta vie de ton côté et moi du mien, on s’est oubliés, on est retombés amoureux mais je crois qu’on n’oublie jamais vraiment la première fois.

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Autumn can be beautiful yes, but for a lot of people it can be a massive worry when it gets cold with heating bills. Last year I froze in my house from October to march because the heating is too expensive to put on and I don't have a very effective heating system. It can also be depressing for those who go to work and come home in the dark. Freezing mornings to get up to and do the school run/to work. Then there is all the scarf/hat/gloves on and off on and off because shops are bloody boiling in winter. Well we've had no real summer to speak of in Scotland - May was nice but otherwise it's been pretty dull and wet with only the odd nice day here and there, so it's hard to be pleased about the end of something that never really started. Having said that I do like September and October but sadly not holding out much hope for lovely cold, crisp days, more likely expecting more dampness. I have found myself looking at boots, jackets & scarves the last couple of weeks and I do like getting wrapped up. I dislike autumnal/winter weather, taking dog out with baby in the pram and preschooler not wanting to walk in the rain (who can blame him) no beach or park trips to get out of the house for an hour, feeling cooped up inside with people with sickness bugs and colds yuk I hate it.
Nope. I hate being bundled up. I prefer to wear light clothes as they give me more freedom of movement. Being bundled up is restricting. And I hate being cold. In any case it hasn’t been very hot this summer. We had a heatwave for a few days in June, plus a warm day here and there, so I can’t mourn the loss of a summer we didn’t have. I get really irritable though every late August into mid September, as I am always completely desperate to buy a few new on trend clothing items and accessories for Autumn/Winter, but the shops don't yet carry their full ranges! I don't like Summer either. I always find it unbearably sticky and uncomfortable and sleeping in the heat is horrible. I LOVE Autumn, changing colours, crispness in the air, nights drawing in and getting all cosy, winter fashion and comfort food. I adore it.
I love autumn but at the same time I didn't really get to enjoy this summer because of a very stressful relocation and a major crisis in the family. But still, I am looking forward to wearing all sorts of boots, cosy jumpers, coats and hats. Also to the beautiful sunrises and sunsets to be had and the first frosty mornings.
Absolutely hate it. I miss the light nights, the back door open in the evenings, going out and feeling like the day hasn't ended at 3pm. I'm in london and the weather has been ok ish for the last few months. I hate wearing coats, I hate putting the heating on. I hate mud in my house. My worst day of the year is the day that the clocks go back.
It's almost pumpkin spice latte time and that's all I care about.

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How can you tell the seasons apart any more? They are all just bloody wet. Autumn should be crisp but it'll be wet. Winter should be snowy but it'll be wet. Spring should be wet with showers but it'll be monsoon rain interspersed with drought. Summer should be warm and sunny but it'll be wet.
Since moving south I love autumn. Warm sunny Octobers, crispy red leaves, mild winters with spiky frost and occasionally snow.
In the north of England it seemed wet and dreary from September-May. The air was always damp and things didn't dry out properly until spring. Even the snow was turned into slush by rain within a day. Never understand the appeal of cold grey rainy days. What possible enjoyment can you get out of that? Every year on MN after two days of sun we get all the "ugh I HATE summer I want it to be autumn" types. Shut up moaning. You get your preferred weather the vast majority of the year. Why can't you just suck it up for those two weeks??
I hate summer! I hate the heat. I hate the bugs. I hate sweating. I hate not being able to sleep comfortably. I hate feeling lethargic. I hate barbecues. I hate the idea we have to sit outside, eating half charcoaled food and warm salad while wasps buzz around and the neighbours kids run all over screeching and screaming. The bloody neighbours who sit out till two in the morning, yacking loudly at least five nights a week...
Autumn can be beautiful yes, but for a lot of people it can be a massive worry when it gets cold with heating bills. Last year I froze in my house from October to march because the heating is too expensive to put on and I don't have a very effective heating system. It can also be depressing for those who go to work and come home in the dark. Freezing mornings to get up to and do the school run/to work. Then there is all the scarf/hat/gloves on and off on and off because shops are bloody boiling in winter. Yes summers can be wet, but they are warm and wet which is really hard to dress comfortably for if you have to be outside and active. Give me cold and wet any day. I can layer up in my wellies and stay much more comfortable than I do when it's hot and humid.
Autumn is my favourite season of all. I love the dewy mornings, mists, and that all the crops have been cut so I can walk the dog properly again Grin. It's warm jumpers, cosy boots and evenings with the woodburner lit. Happy days.
I do enjoy the lighter evenings when you can go for a walk after tea or sit outside because it is warm. Sadly, this almost never happens where we live because it is rarely warm enough.
We didn't have a summer this year. It's been wet the entire time. I do enjoy when nights start to get darker and you can stay in a cosy house and ignore the shite weather.
It can also be depressing for those who go to work and come home in the dark. Freezing mornings to get up to and do the school run/to work. Then there is all the scarf/hat/gloves on and off on and off because shops are bloody boiling in winter.

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I always harbor this fantasy that I'll make a whole bunch of friends whenever I got back to school. Not to say that I've failed in the past, but most people I do meet I rarely ever talk to outside of school. A new school year comes with new opportunities to meet new people, and to make friends :D.
Not looking forward to going back to college. Am sort of happy it's almost gone though, because I feel like I wasted my summer. In the few weeks that remain I doubt I'll do anything that will make it worthwhile. Hopefully next summer will be better
Dreading it actually. But I don't want to abandon school because that would mean abandoning any direction.
Most definitely. I prefer summer to winter. Staying indoors most of the time is pretty acceptable and, biggest of all, nobody cares even if I go around all covered up like a ninja. Winter is definitely SA friendly. It's so hard to justify wearing a jacket/hoodie in summer when you see more skin than cloth all around.
I am glad summer is almost over. August is pretty much the last month of summer where I live. It can get quite nasty in September. Many times we get a little snow at the end of September. The leaves really take off turning colors the deeper we get into September. Lots of the trees are already turning probably due to the very dry summer we have had. I will be glad when the two kids across the street go back to college. They attend the University that is 100 miles east of here. Classes start Aug 25th so probably this weekend they will be heading out. It is always noisy when they are home with there friends coming in and out at all hours of the day and night. Also, they have been working on different things in the garage making a big noise with their power tools. The only bad thing is all the University students that go to the local university come back. The traffic has really increased over the last week.
Everyday was a holiday to me until i got an internship and soon to be a job. The fact that it was summer really didnt change anything other than the temperature.
I know it sounds crazy but I am kind of happy it's almost over. A little sad too but more on the happy side.
Summer is over in this house! My personal end of summer marker is Burghley Horse Trials, it's summer's last hurrah. I watched it last night with a glass of red wine. It is now officially autumn. possibly only in my house but whatevs
So tonight we are having a chicken pie for dinner and the rest of the wine to celebrate, and I am going to undertake the traditional autumn ritual of booting dh until he does his Manly Duty and gets me some wood in. Or at least threatening to do it myself, which would involve me using the axe or maybe even the chainsaw. Then I can start setting fire to things.

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Summer is my favorite season of the year. At least this is what I tell myself when I am dreaming of warm weather, and plunging into nearby Lake Tahoe, and eating s’mores by the campfire. There are so many possible adventures to be had. It is the only time of the year when I have all three of my children with me, and the years are short. It feels like an opportunity that must be seized. Summer is such an idyllic, lazy season. No rules. No rush. Nothing but endless prospects of carefree fun. At least this is how I feel in May, when the weather is warming and there are about a million school functions and I simply want to throw structure and routine to the wind. But now that it’s August, in the hell-depths of summer, there is nothing I want more than for school to begin. What started as a season of endless opportunity all too quickly gave way to a season of endless whining, fights and declarations of boredom. My patience and enthusiasm dwindled and eventually died out completely. Today, our afternoon activity was literally a package of Starbursts. I opened them, put them on the floor, and left my children to do whatever Lord of the Flies stuff they wanted while I took a shower. How did I get this disenchanted with summer? Allow me to illustrate for you. At the start of the summer I had a bucket list of fun activities we would cross off with great delight: Bake a peach pie? Absolutely! Just ignore the peach napalm scalding my arm and dripping between the oven and countertop. This is totally worth it and will definitely not be the cause of a meltdown when I say we cannot eat pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Go to the splash pad? Of course! Why stay in the house and complain about the heat when you can wrap yourself in a wet towel for two hours and complain about being cold. Want to leave? Me too, but at least one of the kids is enjoying the heck out of this and will scream bloody murder the whole way home. Such fun! Sit on a mountaintop and watch fireworks? What could be better than that! You know what could be better than that? A reasonable bedtime that doesn’t leave everyone sleep deprived for a week because despite our lack of routine, my children all insist on getting up before the sun! Do you know how early the sun is up during the summer? Too damned early. Basically nighttime. Camping? Yes, please! Camping will be magical. It will not be hours of me telling my children not to poke at that wild poop they found, or not to go too deep in the water because they basically can’t swim, or not to hit each other with sticks or whatever other nonsense they should clearly know not to do without me telling them “no” all day long. You know what sounds magical right now? Fall. Strident and stressful routines that lead to a few blissful hours a day when I am not trapped in a house with three feral children. Structure. School. Silence. I am ready to get up early with a purpose — the purpose of getting these kids the heck out of my house.

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Sunscreen. We have three kids, so applying sunscreen is my full-time job. Not to mention the ongoing dilemma about what kind to buy. If you get the natural sunscreen, it takes the better part of an hour to rub it in before you finally give up—which is good, because it gives you time to ponder where to find a second job to pay for it. And if you get the unnatural stuff, you spend that same hour wondering which is actually more likely to cause cancer in the long run: the apparently-evil-yet-also-life-giving sun OR the questionable chemical cocktail you just slathered into your precious baby’s skin. Sand. I love the beach. Truly. I’d marry it, if people could wed property. But the sand that always hitches a ride home with us, not so much. It’s plastered all over the car, the house, inside every bag we own, half of our snacks, and no matter how many times we bathe them, every one of our kids’ hair follicles. Mosquitoes. I know not everybody has to deal with mosquitoes. That’s super nice for you. Those of us in the Midwest deal with them enough for all of us. It’s hard to enjoy a summer evening while being divebombed by voracious bloodsuckers. Especially when they seem to derive greater power from citronella candles and bite right through your clothing. I’m so not exaggerating. Bees. Our kids go into full-fledged panic whenever they see a bee of any kind. Or what they think might be a bee, even if it’s just a housefly. Not one of them has ever been stung, by the way. (To be fair, wasps actually are a bit freaky, but I showed one who was boss in our bathroom earlier this summer and haven’t seen any since. BOOM. I rule you, Nature!) Band-aids. Good Lord, children get clumsy in summer. Skinned knees on the sidewalk, splinters from the park, overscratched mosquito bites, the inevitable bicycle crash—I bet Band-aid companies make 90% of their profits in the summertime. It sure seems like they take 90% of my profits. Daylight at Bedtime. You’d think this would be getting better now that the days are getting shorter. But our kids still insist it’s not bedtime yet because “It’s still light out!” Plus, there are so many barbecues and fun activities to squeeze into the warm weather, which always seem to run late into the evening (despite the demon mosquitoes). For those of us in the northern climes, the light at bedtime is a constant battle. And this soldier is plum worn out. Lack of Structure. At the beginning of summer: “Yaaaaaaay! No set schedule! We can do what we want!” At the end of summer: ! I can’t take the hours of randomness anymore! Bring on the perfectly-color-coded-for-each-family-member school calendar!” Podiatric Upkeep. At the beginning of summer, giving myself a pedicure and painting my toenails feels all fun and fresh and girly and sassy. By the end of August, I’m ready to cover up my feet and not look at them for another nine months.

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The biggest POSITIVE is that I got paid to use various modes of travel and stay in all kinds of hotels and resorts. Now, with my own business, I do the same thing, but only within Costa Rica. In this respect, I'm like the Dude Twin from "Eurotrip." The biggest NEGATIVE is that the only true friend that you have in this job is your "TravelGod Mark 2.3 Ultra" carry-on bag. Seriously, your carry-on is your life in this biz. You learn to get exactly what you need in a bag and packing it becomes a science. You have no other real friends. You are never home and have no relationships whatsoever. In this respect, I'm like the George Clooney character from "Up in the Air." Now that I'm pushing 50, I have stuffed my passports into the back of my closet and rarely leave Costa Rica. I've seen the world (over 170 countries and who knows how many towns and cities). Costa Rica was my "perfect fit" and I'm here to stay, as far as I can tell. I have slowed down quite a bit. I actually have a girlfriend now who doubles as my personal assistant. She's a housewife and travels with me on about 95% of my "scouting trips". I also actually get to spend a week or two every month at an actual apartment for which I have an actual lease. just clearly an unstable human being with issues unidentified and as deep as mine. I know the sex will be freaky and mind blowing, and neither of us will want a relationship once the pillowtalk gets real weird, and we will part ways in search of someone slightly more sane than we are.
I'm in a bar in Kansas, in the suburbs. This short and waifish little goth girl comes up to the bar, right next to me, presses herself as close as she can against me, and then proceeds to ignore me. Honestly, I thought she was coked out or totally hammered drunk. After about 5 minutes of this, she turns and gets right in my face, like 3 inches from my face, and starts doing the "what's your name, where are you from?" thing. Blah, blah, blah... after about 2 minutes of this conversation, out of the blue she plasters her face onto mine for about 10 seconds, then after her tongue recedes from my stomach, she says "are you going to take me to your room or not?" Lingerie. When a woman wears classy yet sexy underwear she can turn any man on. It's such a simple but effective tool that it baffles my mind why some ladies don't take advantage of it. I guarantee you that any woman becomes a lot more attractive when she puts on lingerie.
Talking back, calling me out on bullshit, knowing what you're talking about when you do it. Don't just yell an unintelligible argument but there is something attractive about a girl who doesn't just smile and nod.
Physical perfection...is a number of things. There are different styles of women, many of which are attractive, a few are not. Firm breasts are more important than size of them...other than that, does she fit together correctly? Its all about proportions really.

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Genuinely this is how it feels for me right now, at 34 I feel old as a woman and especially considering the biological clock ticking - with very little way to even meet men, let lone fine 'the one'. For the record it's not just boyfriends either, I have no family so never had anyone really value or love me and right now I've no friends either. I've had multiple long-term relationships (5 years, 5 years, 3 1/2 years, 2 1/2 years) but maybe with one exception I've never really felt loved by my partners, to a degree these relationships were just comfortable and for a while I didn't feel happy with them but was too scared to end them. When these relationships ended the other person didn't seem to care at all, many of my ex's went on to marry their next partners which rubs salt in the wound. I see people who've found their partners and who are happy after years together, who go on to get married and have children - sure not all relationships work out, but they get further than mine! I see guys chasing after women and showing them they're valued, I see guys devastated when relationships end - I've never had anything close to this, those who are attracted to me rarely want to get to know me as a person and so there's nothing like this for me. I can't help but think that this means there's something broken about me. I've been single over a year, of the few guys I have attracted: two seemed very seriously interested but then ghosted a little while after the first date, one I dated for three months before he showed himself as an abusive sleaze so I ended it, and current guy I'm just not sure likes me enough to even try to stick it out to really dating me. I'm not the greatest person in the world but I have so much love to give, I'm loyal, genuine, trust worthy, don't get jealous or act crazy, I'm not judgemental, I'm open-minded, I support my partners, I'm told I'm really good in bed, I'm not bad looking, and I also don't act desperate or needy. So I don't know what's wrong with me that I can barely find anyone to want to date me, no one seems to even want to get to know me, let alone someone to who'll love me. Sometimes that’s just how it goes. Think about it this way; some people have had NO relationships. You aren’t the least fortunate, but also not the most fortunate. You just gotta keep looking and hoping! Just try to enjoy yourself and be happy with your own life/interests, and I bet you’ll meet someone. What are your hobbies? Usually those are the best ways to meet people
God does punish many of us with singleness, especially to many of us single men that aren't single by choice to begin with. Then again if God had created women just like the old days, which many of us men wouldn't had this problem at all to begin with. Most women back then were the very complete opposite of today which was a real plus, and they were real ladies as well. Go figure.

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What do you consider to be a high sex drive? Do you have an insanely high sex-drive too? How do you handle it?
I'm young, straight, male, late 20s. I have a very very high sex drive. I have a great job, great career, and my life is in good order. But sex is this constant obsession.
It has been like this for a few years. It kind of tore apart my last relationship, as she didn't want that much sex. After that, I was single a while, didn't get laid as much as I hoped, and am now creeping back into a relationship. But things are looking ugly because I want to fuck everything that moves.
How am I supposed to handle this?
To give an idea of how intense it is - I can jerk off 3 times in a row then be out and about...and will still check out every single female I see and fantasize about her. I'll look at almost any kind of porn available (that is legal), I'll go to the gym and come back a complete mess (heart pounding, unable to think of anything but sex) after all of the stimulation of seeing women in tight clothes. It's not really destroying me yet but it's definitely becoming a burden. I don't want to obsess over it, but my hormones feel like they are always raging. What do I do? What can I do about having an insanely high sex drive?
My sex drive is ridiculous high, I am literally horny 24/7. I sometimes fap 7+ times a day and it's still not enough. My relationships have never worked out because I'm 100 times horny than the girl, my last girlfriend said I was a sexaholic. I could easily have sex 5 times a day. My sex drive is on many occasions really distracting and it gets hard to focus in school. Even on adderall which supposedly kills your sex drive I'm still really horny. Is there any way of getting it under control? Women who have excessively high sex drives--how do you avoid incompatibility without wasting time?What do you consider to be a low/medium/high sex drive?
What would you say counts as a high, medium, or low sex drive, in terms of how often you want to (or do) have sex?
Secondarily, where does your sex drive fit in that spectrum?
Do you feel having a high sex drive has impacted your dating life negatively/positively compared to women with average sex drives? If so how?
If there are any measures you feel would be better, feel free to answer in terms of them. How do you deal with high sex drive while single?
TL;DR Just as title says. WTF do you do? I am single (F) and chose to take a break from dating as it was just disappointment after disappointment + I have some physical and mental health struggles I need to address at the moment.
It's been 4 months now since I deleted all the apps (that's the only way I can meet people) and for a while, it's been OK and I actually felt less pressure and good about the decision. The only problem I have is my sex drive, that is normally through the roof but now it just feels like a disaster about to happen. I

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Darling, I want you to know that with you is the best place to be. You always give me the inspiration that I can do anything and everything I want to do. You are wonderful… If you ever doubt my love for you, rest your head on my chest. You will hear my heart whispering your name. It will give you an idea of how much I love you. Darling, I’m always scared of losing you. I can’t bear the thought of you being with another woman, it drives me crazy. This is a reminder that I love you so much my darling. You are the only person that exists in my heart. Even though I decided to hide from the whole world, your love will always locate me. I just want you to know that I’ll always fight for our love no matter what. I love you, darling… You may decide to give up on everything. But please don’t give up on us even if the whole world is against us. It’s is in you I find real happiness. I don’t need a soothsayer to know that we are made for each other. You always treat me like the only woman in the world. Darling, I want to be in your world forever. I know I sometimes act silly. But I love you so much. All I want to do is to show everybody that you make my world meaningful. I know you are going through a lot right now. But I want to be part of what you are going through. Give me access to your world let’s have romantic moments together. You are all I ever wished for in a partner. Since I met you, you have deeply touched my heart and soul. Thank you for changing my life for good… I call you my hero because I know you will move mountains for my sake. I need you to know that you are divine and special to me. You mean a lot to me and I value you so much. You are a shining star that Nobody can hide, go out today and make me proud. I know you will succeed because that is what heroes do. You mean a lot to me and I need you to survive. Hey young man, meeting you is one thing I will cherish all my life. Your coming into my life changed a lot of things. You gave me a reason to long for the dawn of a new day because it gives another opportunity to see your pretty face once again. I feel safe whenever I am around you. Baby, you have magic in your eyes, and I get butterflies when whenever I see you. Your care and affection are second to none. I sometimes feel you are too good to be true for me. I’m glad that I made the decision to be with you because in you I find an amazing partner. Baby, my love for you has no bounds. With you in my life, every day is a holiday. You are a precious gift, I don’t want to lose for any reason. I’m happy that I find true love for you. I love you like no man’s business. Right from childhood, I always wish for three things in a relationship – bliss, joy, and happiness. And this is what you are generously giving me. Thank you dude for giving me a love safe haven.

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That's all fine and dandy, on paper at least, but I'd need to know who you are and whether you are a boy or a girl who sent me your warm-hearted message. Please reveal yourself to me. I'd also like to know if you are being genuine with me.
I'm rolling with you till the wheels fall off.
I'd follow you to the earth's end. I wouldn't mind if it were to the end of the Earth. I'd go with you anywhere. You make my heart beat faster. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
I miss your handsome face already. I just felt a huge surge of love for you. You’re the best! I love you with everything that I am Hey, I just wanted to let you know I love you a little more every single day. My love for you is too big and deep to describe I’m kind of obsessed with you. I have so much love for you. I am so excited about all that the future holds for us. There’s no one I’d rather discover it with. I was just bragging about you to my friends/coworkers. You’re the absolute best.
You make me feel like the most beautiful, most special woman on earth. You are the glue that holds me together, baby. Thank you for being such an important part of my life, especially when things get tough. Honestly, you make me want to be a better person.
We have made so many amazing memories together. I am so grateful for those. You make my life feel like a dream. There’s so much love and happiness in it, all because of you. There is nothing in this world that will change my love for you. You are everything a man should be. I love you and I love who you are, and who you are becoming. If love is like a song, you are the most beautiful melody I’ve ever heard. My priceless gift, I want to remind you that you mean everything to me. Even if I come to this world again, I’ll choose you over and over again. I never knew the definition of true love until I met you. We share a special bond of true love that will last forever. I just want you to know that #together4ever is where I want to be with you. I don’t need to touch your chest to know that your love for me is real. I don’t need to look at your heart to know how much you love me. But I believe you when you said you would love me forever because that’s where I want to be with you. I have met different men, none of them is as special as you are. And you have always given me comfort and happiness throughout the time we are together. So, all I hope and wish for now is to be with you forever. It gives me joy when you look into my eyes. When you call my name, it makes me feel special. And when you touch me, it makes me feel like a teenager again. I found happiness with you in my life. Trust me when I say this, you mean the whole world to me. Nothing scares me more than imagine a life without you. Nothing can separate me from you in this world and the next because we are created for each other.

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Ça dépend de quel genre de problèmes il s'agit…
Santé ? Mon médecin
Finances ? Mon comptable
Légal ? Mon avocate
Familial ? Ma mère. Je trouve toujours du réconfort auprès de ma mère. Elle trouve toujours les mots juste pour apaiser ma conscience. La personne que j’aime le plus au monde. Je ne veux ennuyer personne avec mes problèmes …Donc je fais appel à moi-même et me débrouille seul…😔🙏 Cela dépend du problème rencontré et si je ne peux pas le résoudre seule. Je communique souvent avec ma sœur ou des amis en qui j'ai confiance et qui me connaissent bien. Des amis avec qui nous nous apportons un soutien mutuel.
Un avis externe permet parfois d'être éclairé et de voir les choses sous un angle différent. Si je n'ai pas la compétence ou la capacité, je me rapproche d'un professionnel qui sera le plus à même de pouvoir me porter aide et conseil. Parfois c'est ma mère, parfois c'est mon frère, parfois c'est mon ami. Tout dépend de quel problème.’ J’appelle mon mari si c’est un problème avec un de mes enfants. J’appelais Ma copine si c’était un problème avec mon mari et autres.
Mais j’évite d’appeler la copine pour la simple raison qu’elle a eut parler derrière mon dos et j’ai perdu confiance en elle.
Je médite tous les jours et cela m’aide beaucoup à me sentir plus serein dans ma tête. Ça dépend de quel genre de problèmes il s'agit…
Santé ? Mon médecin
Finances ? Mon comptable
Légal ? Mon avocate
Familial ? Ma mère. Je trouve toujours du réconfort auprès de ma mère. Elle trouve toujours les mots juste pour apaiser ma conscience. La personne que j’aime le plus au monde. Je ne veux ennuyer personne avec mes problèmes …Donc je fais appel à moi-même et me débrouille seul…😔🙏 Cela dépend du problème rencontré et si je ne peux pas le résoudre seule. Je communique souvent avec ma sœur ou des amis en qui j'ai confiance et qui me connaissent bien. Des amis avec qui nous nous apportons un soutien mutuel.
Un avis externe permet parfois d'être éclairé et de voir les choses sous un angle différent. Si je n'ai pas la compétence ou la capacité, je me rapproche d'un professionnel qui sera le plus à même de pouvoir me porter aide et conseil. Parfois c'est ma mère, parfois c'est mon frère, parfois c'est mon ami. Tout dépend de quel problème.’ J’appelle mon mari si c’est un problème avec un de mes enfants. J’appelais Ma copine si c’était un problème avec mon mari et autres.
Mais j’évite d’appeler la copine pour la simple raison qu’elle a eut parler derrière mon dos et j’ai perdu confiance en elle.
Je médite tous les jours et cela m’aide beaucoup à me sentir plus serein dans ma tête. Avoir un problème cela peut arriver malheureusement, et si cela arrive, il faut analyser la problématique et tenter de résoudre. Les problèmes de la vie courante ne sont pas des vrais problèmes. Pour les problèmes importants de la vie, on s’adresse où on contacte en général des professionnels ou spécialistes : Polices, avocats, médecins etc …

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Well it depends on what you consider real love. From what I know most men (boys) my age (18) have no clue what real love is, but some of them do, maybe because they seen a lot or maybe because they have been betrayed, without warning (like me, it just happened, I had no clue what she was up to). Some of these betrayed souls now deep down know what they want, and what really matters. Some will wonder in void, searching for what they lost. Slowly realising that they might never find it again, and then, it will find them. Anyway in my opinion love is something that both people feel. Some may refer to it as * I just want to be with you, every time you smile and every time you cry and all between*, also just laying in bed and hugging (nothing more), is the enough to revive one's soul. Knowing that person loves you and you him/her, knowing that she/him will never betray you, telling secrets to eachother that will remain between you to.
As a fellow man I do believe in love although I feel right now, that it may be something I'm destined to never obtain, cause I'm currently just going through a break up. Where the girl said I am a really great guy and I am probably what's best for her in life but she said she was too young for a long term committed relationship and wanted to date around.
To me I value relationships I like knowing that I'm going to work or earning money or grinding for another person. It's like any team sport, you try hard cause you know your team is relying on you. To me when I'm single I feel like there is very little reason to do anything for myself, I never want fancy clothes or cars, I don't really party, all I do is pay my bills and what little extra money I have I just invest in order to get more money for either retirement or a house.
Yes, I do believe in true love! Although it moves so slow it has been mistaken as stone. My soulmate was patience but my emotions were to cold. Years have passed old but my love still holds; weathered and lacklustered, but unshaken, undisturbed. True is it's bearing; but slow is it's approach. Now, all is left is to hope. Hope to see her gaze; hope to smell her breath; hope to feel her heart beat in sync with my that of my own. I fear that I've arrived too late but fear will not rob me from this hope. To be fair I feel my story with this girl hasn't ended we both are in the same university adn both studying the same thing for the past year it all has been online due to covid but we are supposed to go to University in November and I guess everything is going to unfold their since we didn't get to see each other a lot and everything between us was via call or massages(but still I feel like we knew each other way before since their isn't anything that we both don't know about each other) but I feel like I should get my hopes up so I won't get in a bad mental state again that's if my current one ended by then

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A big one for me is dressing well. Outside of the gym, the women wearing leggings are low effort imo. I think they look like shit because of it. Same with those large distressed light denim that women seem to wear these days. A nice summer dress does for me every time.
I have news for you, if you think you’re kind of attractive, you’re probably attractive (most people don’t give themself enough credit in the looks dept), so guys are noticing you. I’ve had the thing happen where the girl I liked liked my friend and it sucks, but it doesn’t mean that other guys aren’t noticing you. Just put yourself out there and you should get some attention.
Personally, well kept hair, like you can tell she has taken care of it, well brushed, healthy, good hairstyled hair. Then other things, like she dressing femininely (not gonna lie), and the overall sensation that she takes care of herself. Clean hydrated skin, things like that. Then there are deal breakers that are like imbedded in me and I can't control, like being overweight or having unshaved legs, or a sensation that she is chaos, like having a huge ugly handbag full of junk, or dirty shoes. Idk why really, it just happens.
Good humour, intelligent, witty, pretty face, sorta between 110-150 lbs ish, boobs and butt, some guys like highly extraverted girls some like more introverted girls, most men find women who dress less provocatively more attractive although women who dress in a provocative manner get more attention it's usually with much shorter term "goals".
For me the first thing is the face. It can be one feature on the face (eyes, smile, dimples) but if it’s special that will pull my attention to examine further hopeful to find more things to pull me in further.
The way she types (I call it a “typing style”. It’s just the way they text you. A unique one is so fucking cute). The odd little passions and things she loves. Her way of expressing how much she cares. Loving things not because it makes her “quirky” but because she genuinely loves them. Doesn’t expect you to be as masculine as the doom slayer. Confidence, not so much that it’s over confidence but enough that they can try new things and aren’t afraid to fail a bit (which don’t worry, as someone with constant self esteem issues, I know how hard this one can be to achieve).

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Ma poigne et ma force de caractère. Je me suis toujours relevé face aux aléas de la vie et j'ai toujours été combatif, je ne lâche rien et j'ai cette rage en moi de vaincre tous les obstacles qui se dressent sur mon chemin. La recherche de la connaissance et de la compréhension de tout ce qui nous entoure dans le temps, l'espace et les conséquences.
La chose que j'aime, qui me passionne et qui me donne envie de vivre, même si le résultat est médiocre je n'abandonnerai pas tant que mon cœur continu à battre. La croyance qu’un monde plus beau puisse exister.
Une chose que je suis sûr de ne jamais abandonner: la jolie petite ancre en titane qu’on m’a posée dans l’épaule pour réparer un ligament. Elle me suivra même dans ma tombe.
Mes convictions profondes et mes valeurs et mes principes. C’est ce qui me fait me lever le matin.

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Happiness. Someone who is happy in their lives, in their work, engaged with their "extracurriculars" or hobbies. A sense of appetite for more: improving themselves and with dreams, projects, goals. Generally OK, not in need of help or love, but open to the possibility. You don't have to be rich, or funny, or hot, or brilliant, but you have to be happy.
Intelligent without needing to always "prove" they're smarter than others. Confidence without being an arrogant jerk who can't admit they're wrong. Kind even when they're not having a great day. Interested in and passionate about something; the specifics don't matter as much as having something that makes his eyes light up with excitement.
As someone who is physically fit, I am significantly more attracted if a guy is fit or working their way to it. Obviously I'm not like "dad bods need not apply" but if you're just chilling in your inactivity and not making any lifestyle changes, it's a major turn off.
Having his shit together at least on par with mine and a plan. That plan doesn't even to have to include me. I'm a fairly independent person, I handle financials very well and I have a short-term, a mid-term and a long-term plan. If you don't have those things, then we are not going to be compatible.
I like guys that are taller than me, who work out and are muscular, who have a mature look to them (not into guys who look like they're still in high school), who have some kind of ambition/goal in life. There's nothing wrong with being shy and nerdy (I kinda am), but it's not going to be something that draws me to you.
Bonus points if you are creative or happen to have brown skin and green eyes. But those brown skinned, green eyed guys probably know how fine they are and are getting scooped up immediately. More importantly: Laid back, doesn’t freak out in stressful situations and has a good sense of humor (especially when things are not going well). Pursues intelligent things, like reading/art/literature/music because those are things I do myself and I want shared interest and conversation. Have some kind of passion/passions, because I have mine and I want to share or be able to have active participation on both our ends. Be able to have empathy and understand other’s positions, bc if you can’t do that with strangers, you can’t do that with me. Know how to listen and make an active effort to evaluate someone’s position. Be bold, but not brash, as in saying things you actually believe and accept people will have opinions, but know the contexts to keeping things to yourself. I think my most important thing is being humble. Realize your accomplishments and hobbies are for yourself, and not for bragging to other people. Know you aren’t the only person who does cool things, but be able to share and contribute to the community in a mature and intelligible way.

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