Since you and your sister are close, have a serious talk with her and ask how she would like you to handle the matter, but that you're tired of the put-downs. He may also be doing this with her behind closed doors, so be open to listening, as well.
Do what you're comfortable doing. But the more important question to ask is what are you doing so you're healthier? It sounds like she loves you unconditionally, which is great, but you need to love yourself enough to be healthier.
Unless both are comfortable with you dating both, you're going to have to choose or your love life could be at risk. Our app, Love Shopping List, is designed to empower you to make better relationship decisions. Use it.
It's only natural to have those feelings. You're used to seeing your parents together. Many people feel they're somehow not be loyal to the parent that passed away if they happen to like the surviving parent's new friend. It's not an "either or". The new person doesn't replace your dad. Just give the new guy a chance.
Certainly do your due diligence. You can have him checked out with one of the online services. Unless they have specific concerns, develop your own opinion based on your research and experiences. They may have other reasons for telling you this.
All this should be talked about BEFORE moving in together. It sounds like just splitting the financial obligations and household duties would work out pretty well. You would probably benefit from a few sessions with a couples' counselor.
He can go with you and support you, but he should not interfere. This is a self-esteem issue on your part. It's hard, but you need to put on your big girl pants and deal with it. You need to learn to stand up for yourself.
Try getting to know him. Looks can be deceiving. He may be a very nice guy, just big. Don't pass judgment too early if you want to keep her. However, treat her well, or he'll eat you for breakfast!! 😂😂
Even though you may not know the reason, there are always reasons. The short answer is "yes", you can fall out of love just like you fell in love. Sometimes it's as simple as realizing the person is not everything you thought he/she was.
I can certainly understand why it would upset you, but it's their relationship. She is going to need some professional help to figure out what she wants the relationship with her father to look like. Basically, you need to stay out of it.
Even if it's legal now for you, the basic question is this- Is using mj really worth losing your gf over? That really will answer your question for yourself. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
There are no guarantees in relationships. All you can do is live in the moment. If you worry about the past, you'll be depressed. If you worry about the future, you'll be anxious. Leave them alone, and live in the moment.
Certainly, there is the possibility that she is bipolar. It's very difficult even for a professional. You can be honest with her and tell her what you are observing. If she flips out, you'll have to make a choice. It's unhealthy to stay in a relationship like you describe.
This truly is a job for a therapist who has a lot of experience with families with gay or lesbian parents. That therapist will be a great resource for you. Your son also needs help getting through this time.
Ask him why.
The language of love differs from person to person. He may be telling you in his "language" that he loves you. Just ask him nicely. Start by telling him that you're a little bit confused. Don't attack him, or it may backfire.
There is no formal proper amount of time. There is the unwritten "guy" rule that says if it's within about 6 months, you should just inform them. I'm not in favor of that, but some guys feel obligated to their friends. I know that many females also have this unstated rule.
Generally speaking, it's harder for a male because it seems to question their manhood. It's not rational, but it occurs. If you're happy with your situation, don't change. If he decides to leave, that's on him.
"People" often give advice for which they have no expertise. You do not necessarily have to go "sow your wild oats" first. If you've got a great relationship with her, keep it. I know many wonderful couples who were high school sweethearts. Go with your heart.
Politics is one of the great dividers. I would sit down and talk with them about keeping an open mind about the kind of person he is as opposed to his political views. Ultimately and unfortunately, you may still have to take sides.
There's no reason you can't gather information. However, keep in mind that his version of what happened or how she functions is only his side of the story. If you are interested in her, keep an open mind and form your own opinion.
You have a smart therapist. Stick with her/him. They will guide you in avoiding the pitfalls so that you don't repeat the mistakes made by your parents. You are NOT doomed to repeat the process.
It is a logical step, and it's in the works!!
You are going to have to continue to be patient. Just as you accepted your own sexual preference, you've got to allow him to arrive at that place on his own.
As long as we have the technology, I always recommend doing your due diligence by getting a full report on someone. This way you'll have all the information you need to make a good decision beyond just guessing.