She's going to feel bad and probably a bit embarrassed, but you have to let her know that what she's doing is making others uncomfortable. You also have to be very careful not to shame and blame her because that could drive her into a bad place. Explain that because the two of you are close, you want to have others look at her with the same good feelings that you have for her. Your situation is not unusual. She sees all these "older" men, and it's attractive to her on a lot of different levels. Guide her gently but firmly or you will begin losing friends.
Since she didn't know, the real key will be her behavior. If her behavior remains the same, stay with her. If not, the money has made a difference in her feelings.
It's NEVER impossible, but it is hard. Seek professional help from someone who has experience in these type of situations. I've had several similar cases, so I know how hard it is on both people when others are tugging on them.
Things can always be worked out if that is the true goal of both parties. That being said, it requires an extraordinary amount of work and commitment.
There is no one right answer. It was a gift, so most people understand that. There have been many court battles over this. Generally, it's still considered a simple gift and not an arrangement.
Explain your reasons honestly. Just because she drinks more than YOU think, does not make it a fact. It may be that you can't be with someone who drinks more than you should. You'll have to see what unfolds.
It's not that he didn't trust you, it's that he wanted to factually trust you. You should do the same. In this day and age, it never hurts to have as much information as possible in relationships.
Unfortunately, the world has become so polarized, you can no longer make certain comments, even if the intent was innocent. Your comment could, with certain people, be thought of as a gender-related microaggression.
WTF? Is he living in the 1950's? You need to start setting boundaries. Let him do his own laundry, make his own meals, etc. Basically, go on strike with EVERYTHING.
If she can't do it herself, do it together. Don't do it alone. You won't get anywhere.
It doesn't make any difference whether or not you like her. You should not have to pay for his gift. He's old enough to take responsibility but evidently not mature enough. This should be a lesson for him.
