Ask @LSLLoveAdvice:

I'm dating this guy who has a daughter. She resents the hell out of me. I'm always nice to her but she disrespects me a lot, especially when he's not around. I've tried to be the adult but she's testing my limits. Absolutely this could interfere with our relationship. ?????

My guess is that you're talking about a pre-teen or a teen. She's being very protective of her mother and is also concerned about you "stealing" her father. Just be patient and kind. They usually come around. Some take longer than others.

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My gf wants us to go have "proper table manner lessons." I'm not sure what this is all about. Is she trying to tell me something? I feel like I'm being judged.

It could be that she just wants both of you to learn proper etiquette, or it could be that your manners aren't exactly great. Don't overthink it. Just go and have a good time together. BTW, people will absolutely judge you on your manners.

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My bf's kid brother is a heroin addict but no one is doing anything about it. They all pretend everything is ok. My bf says he's tried to talk to his parents but they just gaslight him. Any ideas?

Denial is very strong. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot you can do if the family is not willing to face reality. It is regrettable because they are playing Russian Roulette with his life. The two of you can try sitting down with them again.

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I was shocked to learn that my bf's cousin is a white nationalist. We saw him at a family event. Now I'm concerned that maybe his family is infected with this. It disgusts me. I don't want to ever see him again. How should I handle this?

You can explain to your bf that you do not ever want to be at any event where his cousin is present. You have the absolute right to set that boundary. You don't say if anyone else has made racist comments. It may just be this one person.

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My gf's family is from a culture that has huge weddings, like 300-500. My parents want to contribute but say that it's too many people. Her parents want to split the wedding cost. This is all creating a huge mess and resentment. What do I do?

Ah, yes. Weddings!! They are supposed to be such a wonderful time. Either the two of you need to take control of what you want, or you need to tell both sets of parents to meet and figure it all out since it's creating too much stress.

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I'm dating this guy who has a daughter. She resents the hell out of me. I'm always nice to her but she disrespects me a lot, especially when he's not around. I've tried to be the adult but she's testing my limits. Absolutely this could interfere with our relationship. ?????

This is very common. She looks at it like you are stealing her father, so she's fighting you for him. Get some professional help with someone who has experience with this. It will make life much easier.

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My bf's kid brother is a heroin addict but no one is doing anything about it. They all pretend everything is ok. My bf says he's tried to talk to his parents but they just gaslight him. Any ideas?

If his bro is under 18, they can commit him. If not, it complicates things. The best thing to do is contact an interventionist. That's a person who specializes in exactly what you're asking for.

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Me and my partner are both very feminine. We keep being asked how that works, that isn't it supposed to be one butch and one fem. The first time I was speechless. We don't want to be rude so how should we respond? Still can't believe others ask.

Yes, it's rude. You can blow it up by telling them to f o or you can just look and say absolutely nothing. That would be my choice.

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I guess I'm really insecure but I get freaked out if my bf is watching porn. Is that a normal thing guys do? Some friends tell me I'm paranoid.

No, not every guy watches porn. However, adult entertainment is available to men and women. It really depends on how much he's watching. If it's just occasionally, it's probably not a big deal (unless it goes against your beliefs). If it's a bunch, he may have a porn addiction. Get some professional help to sort all this out.

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My gf's daughter hates me. We've tried to explain that I'm not trying to be her father but she just goes off on both of us. I've never tried to be her parent. I heard this is normal. Is it?

Yes, perfectly normal. You are just going to have to give her time. My guess is she's a young teenager. That's when they get really pissy because, in addition to the change in family, she also has her hormones starting to swirl. Just be patient, but expect it to get worse before it gets better.

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We are raising our granddaughter. The relationship changed when we had to take over because our daughter went to jail. She went from being a sweet kid to really resenting us, but we have to be the parents not the loving grandparents. What do we do?

Since you've taken over the parenting job, you have to be a parent. Usually grandparents let kids get away with much more. Your granddaughter needs to know that she can't get away with things with you.

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I had a bit too much to drink and wound up dirty dancing with my bf's buddies. Nothing else happened but now he's really pissed. He says I violated his trust. From dancing? What should I do or say now?

If he is that freaked out just from dancing, you are going to have a difficult time doing much of anything in the future without him looking over your shoulder. It's time to dump the chump! Jealousy usually doesn't go away.

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My bf is great except he’s not very modest. He runs around in his underwear even when we have friends over. I’ve told him it’s gross but he just laughs. WTF?

Your bf does not respect you enough. This is an indication of what he will be like in your future. Some people are more modest than others, but if the lack of modesty bothers one's partner, it should stop.

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