My parents are getting a divorce and it’s affecting my relationship with my bf. I don’t know how to handle it. I’m jus feeling like all relationships will end up split up and hurting..

March 03, 2017

This is absolutely a situation where you need professional help. You are having trouble separating your issues with your parents from your own relationship. You need to get a handle on this now, otherwise it will affect not only your current relationship, but most of your future relationships as well.

I checked out this girl and was freaked out by her background. I tried to break up with her but it’s like she’s almost stalking me. How do other people hand this shit?

March 03, 2017

Let's assume you already told her thank you but no thank you. The best thing to do is to block her from all your social media contacts. Also, block her from your phone. There are also online companies that can help you. Worst case scenario, go to you local law enforcement agency if you truly believe she is stalking you.

I’m going with this really nice guy in one of my high school classes. The problem is that a guy on the football team asked me out and I said no because I was already going out with this guy. Now the fb player started spreading shit about me. What do I do? It’s really hurtful.

February 24, 2017

This is classic harassment. I strongly suggest you go to a school counselor and explain the whole situation. You should not have to endure the harassment. Keep a log of everything that has been said or posted.

My kid sister got pregnant when she was 15 and then got into trouble with drugs. We have raised our niece since she was a baby. She’s getting married. She wants us to walk her down the aisle. My sister is pissed. What do we do or say so our niece’s special day isn’t ruined?

February 24, 2017

It is your niece’s special day. It is entirely up to her and her future husband on how they want to handle this. Clearly, she has many unresolved issues with her mother. Your sister is just going to have to abide by whatever decision is made given that she was an absentee mother. If time permits, they should try counseling sessions to try to resolve long-standing issues.

I’m going with this guy who’s perfect in every way but one. He smokes. I’ve told him it’s really import to me if we are to go further in our relationships that he quits.. He says I’m being too judgmental and he has no intention of quitting. Am I?

February 24, 2017

It really depends on your priority list. His habit is not only unhealthy for him but also for you and eventually for children (third hand smoke). You are not being too judgmental, you are being healthy. He is going to have to make a choice between his cigarettes and his relationship with you.

We never talked about religion before we got married since neither of us was really religious. I’m Jewish and my husband is Catholic. Now our 5 yo son wants to got to Sunday school with his friends. I said I’d enroll him at temple but my husband says he’ll take him to church.

February 24, 2017

This is one of those areas that often gets in the way of interfaith marriages when the topic is not discussed in advance. I’ve seen couples divorce over it, I’ve seen couples raise children with both religions, I’ve seen couples agree not to have religion in the house, and I’ve seen couples work out that the household be one religion. There is no right or wrong way to do this, but the most important aspect is the children. Absolutely, you should seek professional help.

I’m Black and my wife is Asian. Our daughter is dating a really nice white guy. The problem is his family. Our daughter has mentioned things she’s heard at his house that are really hurtful. I feel like going over there to talk but I don’t want to ruin her relationships. What do I say to her?

February 24, 2017

Tell her to keep her head high and just be who she is. She will know soon enough if the situation is going to work or not. A lot will depend on how the guy handles the situation with his family. Only time will tell how this will work out.. She should be proud of her heritage and never hang her head. If inappropriate comments are made in her presence, she should try to not get angry, but to just simply call them out for the “hurtful” remarks.

How do you get past somebody cheating on you? I heard you can never really get past it.

February 24, 2017

There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting, so it depends on what someone means by “getting past it.” You’ll never forget, but with time ( and certainly no more incidents) you can learn to forgive.. My suggestion, if you still want to be in the relationship, is to get some counseling so that you have strategies and coping mechanisms with which to deal with your feelings.

My father and father-in-law almost got in a fist fight over politics. We literally had to pull them apart. Who are the children and who are the adults? This has caused a major blow up in both families. Now nobody wants to get together for upcoming holidays. IDK what to do.

February 24, 2017

Call for a family meeting (and, yes, you’ll be acting as the adults), and explain that the two of you do not want politics to get in the way of family. See if you can get everyone to agree not to discuss politics at family events.

Me and my bf live together and split everything equally. All of a sudden he says his younger brother needs to stay with us for awhile because he has no job and no money. I like his bro but I don’t think I should have to pay for him. My bf says I’m not being reasonable. Now what?

February 24, 2017

His brother was not part of your arrangement when you moved in together. He is caught between trying to help his bro and being loyal to you. Tough position. If you really want to be with him, understand that he is a very loyal person, and that’s a good thing. You might think about setting some type of time limit on the situation. That way you are protecting yourself but also coming across as supportive.

When is it acceptable to tell someone your dating about a fetish younhave? Also how do u tell them w/out weirding them out haha

February 17, 2017

It's best to wait a bit. Often mistakes are made by revealing too much too soon. Once you are closer, you'll know if you should reveal.

If I go to therapy should I let my significant other know? It's not about our relationship it's related to an incident that happened to me as a child that I finally feel strong enough to talk about with a therapist. I ask b/c I don't like to keep secrets, but I'm also not ready to tell my spouse yet

February 17, 2017

Talk to your therapist about when or if you should divulge . Your therapist is inthe best position to guide you.

My wife wants to bring toys into our sex life. I'm open to the idea, but so far 90% of them are masturbstion toys (fleslight, tenga eggs, etc) for me. Is my wife trying to tell me she needs space or something? I've talked to her but she reassures me that I'm just being silly.

February 17, 2017

Maybe she just wants to experiment. Don't read too much into it at this point.

My gf likes sexting and sending nudes. I am not into that stuff at all. When texting I like to actually talk and get to know her. I've tried to explain my point of view but she doesn't seem to get it. What can I say or do to better show her my point?

February 17, 2017

Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do. Additionally, she seems to have very different ideas on morals than you do. Maybe time to rethink your relationship.

My dad raised me. I’m going with this guy who is 22 like me. Now he thinks he has a right to tell me what to do about my relationship. It’s getting old. I don’t want to hurt him but I don’t know what to do.

February 17, 2017

You are "Daddy's Little Girl," especially since he raised you. In his mind he would like to put a giant plastic bubble around you and protect you from the big bad world. Please don't be angry with him, but do get help for both of you. Your dad is having trouble expressing his feelings about losing you. He needs reassurance that he's not.

Me and this other man have been in a loving relationships for almost 5 years. All of a sudden he tells me he’s interested in this woman. I’m devastated. I feel like I don’t know who I am. How does this happen?

February 17, 2017

Your partner may have been bi without realizing it. The best advice I can give is to seek out an LGBT support group or a therapist who deals with these issues. Your reaction, although certainly very emotional, is perfectly normal given what has transpired. Make sure you get the help you need so you can move forward in your life.

This girl and me have been joking around a lot in chem class. People keep saying that we are a couple. Now IDK. I’m not sure if either of us is ready to move forward. We don’t want to ruin it. Suggestions?

February 17, 2017

Keep joking around and don't worry what others are saying. The most important thing is that the two of you are having fun together. You'll both know if or when the time is right to move forward. Good relationships start with good friendships.

My dad is pretty young. We lost my mom less than a year ago. He’s started to date. I’m freaked and feel like I’m judging who is goes with. I know I’m the child but I feel like he’s making decisions for both of us. What do other people in my situation do?

February 17, 2017

If you have a good relationship with your dad, ask if you can go to some counseling so that the problem does not get worse. In reality you are right. He is making decisions for both of you. Both of you have lost an important person, and I'm sure you don't want to lose the other important person in your life.

How effective is online dating? Is it really as good as people say? I’m afraid even though others say it’s ok.

February 17, 2017

It really depends on whom you ask. For the people that are successful, they will rave about it. For the ones who are not, they won't. There are man people we know who have met someone online and are in good solid relationships. The most important factor is really to know what you want. We have a lot of people using our app, Love Shopping List, even after using the matching services because they want to know for themselves and not just because of a computer match.

Me and my gf are both biracial but I’m a lot lighter skinned. There are a lot of people that make comments behind our backs and are critical of my gf. I am very upset about the amount of prejudice. I thought it was a lot less. I’m really hurt and don’t know what to do.

February 17, 2017

Unfortunately, racism is still alive and well in all parts of the world. Just keep loving each other and let that be your focus. Making an issue of it with someone often just cements their ideas. As the saying goes, "Ya can't fix stupid." Hate groups of all kinds are on the rise. Education is the best weapon.

My bf is in recovery. I keep getting warned by others that he will relapse. He is doing super well but they keep making me doubt. He’s doing really well and I want to believe he will keep doing well.

February 17, 2017

The most important part of his recovery is that he keeps working at it. Yes, unfortunately, a relapse is often part of recovery, but it is NOT an automatic. Many people enrolled in a treatment program who work really hard do not go through a relapse. As long as he keeps working his program, he will continue to do well. Go by his actions and not the opinion of others.

I used your Love Shopping List app and WOW? Is it really that good or am I just lucky? We both did it and it was a perfect match.

February 17, 2017

Thank you for your recognition. Actually, we are just a tool. We've worked long and hard for years to provide people with a tool to empower them to make good choices. You both had that good a results because you were both very honest in what you really wanted. Clearly, you both put in the time to go through it carefully, which is why it was so effective. We'd love to hear the story of your relationship.

She said she loved me more than anything in the world butshe still had urges she wanted to explore, and she couldn't take me seriously as a dominant anymore. I'm crushed. I really don't know what to do. I'm a dominant personality, I became submissive to help her be stronger. I really feel betrayed

February 10, 2017

You need to talk with a therapist familiar with these issues so you are not in such emotional pain. Do yourself a favor and don't wait

I would do anything to make her happy! Anyways we had some great times with her as the dom and myself as the sub. However, recently she tells me that she loves me and wants to get married, but she throws in that she also wants to date other men. I flipped out and we got into an argument.

February 10, 2017

Your an adult. You have the ability to do what you want, but think carefully of the consequences

How can you tell if someone is really prejudiced? I’m biracial. I just met my bf’s parents. His dad was giving me strange looks. IDK what to do.

February 10, 2017

Actions and words. Don't go just based on "strange looks." You will find out soon enough. I'm sure your racist antennae are up, so carefully analyze what's going on, but give his dad a chance to get to know you. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Dr. Andrew

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