Ask @LSLLoveAdvice:

I'm in love with an office co-worker and she's in love with me. The company has rules about relationships. We don't know how to handle this without losing our jobs. Do we go to HR and tell them? Don't want to make stupid decisions.

If the company rules specifically state there are not to be relationships among employees, then you know what the consequences potentially could be. HR will look out for the company's best interest, not yours. Maybe it's time to look for a more progressive workplace.

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Me and this other girl have started dating. We are both in high school and we are worried about what our classmates will say. Do we just let it be known that we are a couple or what? Guys keep hitting on us but neither of us is interested. What's your suggestion?

I don't know where you are located or the culture of your community. If your community is ultra conservative, it could create problems for you. If your peers are generally liberal, you should not have a problem. I would search out an LGBTQ organization close by and get some help. They've been through it all before and will be very helpful.

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My grandparents are REALLY religious, like evangelical religious. I've always been close to them. I'm gay but I haven't come out yet. I don't want to hurt them. What do I do? I'm really conflicted.

As much as you love them, you have to be true to yourself. If you aren't, you'll remain very confused and unhappy. If they truly love you, they'll accept you for who you are.

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I'm Muslim and my gf is Christian. We've been going out for 3 months. Both our families are horrified and both of us have gotten lectured. We are not going out to spite our families. We just have very strong feelings for each other. Is there a good way to handle this?

Truthfully, if both your families are very religious, there is not a good way forward. The best you can hope for is trying to get both sets of parents and the two of you in to see a therapist that specializes in interfaith relationships. It may not work, but at least it's a shot.

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Me and this guy have been online dating for about 2 months. We both decided we want to meet up. He says he lives about 2.5 hours away. I'm worried that he may not be legit but he hasn't done anything to make me suspicious so it's on me. What do I do? I don't want to get hurt?

Especially in online relationships, I always recommend getting a full background check. It will either confirm that he's legit, or it will let you know to stay away. Either way, it's worth the money. There are a number of sites that will do this for a fee. This is not a time to be cheap. Use one that is thorough.

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I had too much to drink and said some pretty mean things to my bf. He's forgiven me but I feel horrible and can't let it go. I'm thinking maybe that's how I really feel and am in denial. I'm confused about what to do.

Alcohol tends to remove any filter to what's hidden in your mind. I would definitely say that you need some short term therapy to help you sort things out. Any time you are confused about a relationship for any reason, it's sending up a giant red flag. Something is definitely going on deep inside your head.

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I want to be supportive of my bf. His father just passed. His father was a womanizer and an alcoholic (my bf's words not mine). I want to respect my bf's wishes as he does not want to go to the funeral but I think that's wrong. I've told him it's still his father. What do I do here?

You have to respect your bf's wishes. There are obviously family dynamics at play that you may not be aware of. You've given him your opinion (I think), so now honor his wishes. The only thing I might add to the conversation with him is to mention that you don't want him to have any regrets down the line. He might do well with a session with a professional.

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Is there a certain point at which you know a relationship is basically over? Me and my gf have bee fighting for over a month. I'm not sure this is good for either of us.

Minor disagreements are normal in relationships. Major fights are a different story. You don't say what the argument is about. If it's something that's really important to you, you should stand your ground. If it can't be resolved, then, yes, you should break up. You are correct that it is not good for either of you.

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My bf is very upset. He failed the psychological part of his interview for law enforcement. I've been trying to tell him he needs help but he just tells me I'm the one that's crazy. Now what?

Hmmmm??? Your bf is gaslighting you? Those tests have been around a long time and are quite valid. Simply put, it's time for a new boyfriend, not one that continues to stay in denial.

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It's hard for me to know when the right time to ask this girl out is. I don't want her to feel I'm pressuring her. I'm also scared to ask her. Should I give her a cute card?

I'm always in favor of something cute. It may appear corny, but if there is any interest at all on her part, it's a good way to go. Tangible things often work quite well, despite eye rolling.

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My life partner's family treats him awful. I'm not even sure why we go to family events. The make fun of us as a same sex couple. My partner says that even though they do this he doesn't want to abandon his family. I love my partner but I don't like his family. Do I just not go with him?

You should not have to go anywhere that you are made uncomfortable. I'm sure your partner is not comfortable either, but it's his family. If he's open to it, both of you should sit down with his family and tell them how you feel. Neither of you should be subjected to not being treated well.

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If they are going to make pot legal in CA, are people right just to say to ignore anyone using right now? I don't know what to think. My bf says he will continue to smoke now but not worry about being illegal.

While it's not legal right now, it will be in 18 days. Especially in CA, there's not going to be a lot of enforcement now. So, probably the answer is YES, just ignore it now unless it's really out of hand. The only exception is that it has been clearly researched that pot use in adolescence can cause a stoppage in growth of the frontal cortex, the decision-making and impulsivity center of the brain.

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Me and this guy really hit it off online. We been out a few times and he's great. My friends tell me not to trust him unless I get him checked out fully. Now I'm worried I might have made a mistake. He even said he thought it was a good idea for me to check him out so I can get my head clear. Doe

In this day and age your friends and this guy are right. Have him thoroughly checked out. That way you'll be able to be in the relationship without worrying. If something shows up, you can end it. Be confident in your decision.

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This woman wants to go out with me. The problem is she's 20 years older. I don't know how to politely turn her down. I don't want to hurt her feelings. I've tried just not returning texts or calls but she keeps going. What is a nice way to do this so she'll stop?

Since she will not take a subtle hint, you are left with no choice but to be direct. "I am flattered by your wanting to go out with me, but I respectfully am declining. Thank you in advance for respecting my decision." That should do it.

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This girl started this rumor about my bf that he harassed her. I know this is false because the night she talked about he was with me. I even have the movie stubs from the movie we went to. Do I confront her or what? She started in on social media about him.

The easiest and most effective way to handle this is to tell your story including a picture of the movie stub. Many would say to ignore it, but that will just give her permission to continue. Don't say anything negative about her. Just present the facts.

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I'm in love with two guys. They both even have the same score on your app. Now what? I don't want to hurt either of them.

Love Shopping List was designed to empower you to make better relationship choices. It was not designed to have the final say so in your decision. Ultimately, you have to go with what is in your heart. Fortunately, you have two good choices from what you described.

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Me and this other guy had a one night thing. I don't know if that makes me gay or bi or what. How do I sort this out? He wants to do it again but not me.

This sounds more like you were experimenting with your sexuality. It doesn’t mean you’re gay or bi. Regardless of what he says or anybody else says, never do anything that you are uncomfortable with.

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My friends tell me this girl in my history class really likes me. I don't know how to approach her with that. I'm happy but I don't want to get hurt.

You will have to get out of your comfort zone. It is actually not very complicated. Just go up to her and introduce yourself. That is a good start. Yes, you have a risk, but it might be worth.

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When my in-laws come over they just complain about everything. My husband says that's what he grew up with and that I should just ignore it. I don't think I should ignore someone criticizing me in my own home. I'm mad at them but I'm also mad at him for not backing me. What should I do?

You have every right to expect that you not be criticized especially in your own house. If your husband is not going to stand up to his parents, then you most certainly should. Do it in a respectful fashion, but lay down firm boundaries.

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How old do you think a teenager should be before going on a vacation with a boyfriend's or girlfriend's family? Our sixteen yo daughter is giving us grief for not letting her bf come with us over winter break. She says if he can't go then she's not either.

It is up to the parents in the house. Everyone has different beliefs regarding the proper age. Parents’ house, parents’ rules. A lot depends upon the culture and the religious believes of the parents.

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Is it really true that it takes decades to really cement a relationship? That just seems so long.

Social scientists have estimated that, yes, it takes decades. That doesn't mean the relationship is not good up to that point, but it just takes a very long time to iron out the inevitable differences. Like everything else worthwhile, relationships take a lot of work.

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so I don't know whether to thank my bf or be upset with him for punching the jerk.

I can't say I would not do the same thing as your bf. Yes, you can stand up for yourself, but no one should be subjected to that. I know there are many who say that the physical "violence" is not the way to handle it, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut reaction.

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