As a psychologist whose specialties include relationship counseling, I assure you it is NOT a waste of time. If everything is really good, couples counseling will only validate that. If there's something amiss, that will come to the surface, too. Don't give in. You are correct.
Keep in mind that unless parents have been completely removed from the picture, your bf is not the only person you are dating. Also, keep in mind that when you marry someone, you marry their family. Caveat Emptor. Buyer beware. So, you'll need to make some choices.
My cousin had the best saying when I lost my wife of 48 years. "There is a giant gaping hole in your heart that will never close, but after a while you'll get used to the draft of air coming through it." Life goes on. The best suggestion I can give you is to seek out a grief group. It will help you get through and move on with the rest of your life. You are young enough to have a good "chapter 2" in your life.
Neil Sedaka had a song originally recorded in 1962 called "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do." Yours is not an unusual story. It will take time, but eventually you will realize it's really over. The scars of the breakup will always remain. If your grief persists, get some professional help.
He keeps doing it because, in your words, no one has put a stop to it. The whole family just enables the behavior. You trying to address him as an outsider won't work. He'll probably tell you to get the hell out of his house if you try to talk with him about it. Tell your gf that you just can't be around him. It may cost you the relationship, but you will at least be taking a strong position.
I'm guessing that this is not the only thing he does that is inconsiderate. Unless he changes his behavior, this is probably an indicator of your future. At least he puts the seat up as opposed to the guys who pee all over the seat and don't clean it up. Try posting a sign on the toilet.
Take the higher ground and just tell them that his height is not important to you because he's such a wonderful person. Just keep smiling, and don't say another word. Sometimes silence is the best form of communication.
I hope lesson learned. It sounds like the damage your reaction did might be beyond repair. All you can do is apologize. It's up to him as to whether or not he accepts it. Obviously, in the future get your facts before you react.
Somewhere in his background someone told him he was intimidating and it really bothered him. He's trying to compensate. You can either help him directly by offering observations on different ways to be forceful without necessarily being intimidating. If that doesn't work, he might try professional help.
You are not going to accomplish anything except alienating everyone. This blowhard has been allowed to get away with it for probably longer than you've been alive. Unless it directly affects you, or it's factually incorrect, put your attention somewhere else.
It doesn't make any difference what label they put on it. If those are your standards, and you are perfectly comfortable with them, don't give them up. You'll regret it. You are the best judge of what's comfortable for you.
People who call themselves pansexual feel they are not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.
Don't fall into the trap of male mentality regarding getting laid. You should NOT sleep with someone unless you want to, and it doesn't make any difference if you are male or female. There's nothing wrong with you.
There are several responses, but it depends on which fit you the best. You could say, "I'm sorry but I don't remember asking you for your opinion about our relationship," or you could just not say a word, maintain eye contact, and smile. It often gets the job done without having to do anything else.
Tell your grandmother that you love her very much, but you would appreciate her not lecturing you. As long as you are respectful, you are certainly entitled to speak up. If your gf is comfortable, do it together.
If the context is right, you can certainly go up and introduce yourself. That's not stalking. It's just being friendly. Do some homework and find out what he's interested in so you have something to discuss. Be a friend first and then see what happens.
The best advice I can give you is to attend Alanon. They are people who have been through what you are experiencing. Obviously, you are projecting the issues with your father onto your bf. You already know this is not fair. Help yourself by letting others with experience help you.
It seems there are forces at work from before you were with your wife that you may not know about. Regrettably, you just may have to take a "wait and see" approach. It certainly would seem your wife would want to protect her mother, but maybe she knows her mother will not listen. The only exception would be if you had concrete evidence.
Most people don't realize that, while exercise is very important for your body and your brain, the real key to weight loss is nutrition. I would suggest consulting a registered dietician. That way you can get on the right track with a professional.
Don't get in the middle between them, but absolutely have a serious talk with her. There's nothing wrong with standing up for yourself in a respectful fashion. It's important for your self esteem.
Do NOT go further in the relationship unless you are ready. You can tell her that the pressure is really making you uncomfortable. If she continues, you probably are looking at the same kind of pressure you currently have, but intensified.
Yes, there is. Just go out to fancy restaurants with them in the evening. That way they are not likely to spend money at a fancy restaurant with kids.
You are dealing with the effects of a critical person in her younger life. All you can do is to keep encouraging her. It is hard to overcome growing up with criticism.
It really depends on which is more important to you, being with them or confronting them. If they change all the time, at least you know what you are dealing with. If you want to continue to see them, I'd just go with the flow.
You are not being disrespectful to your mom. Obviously, you and your dad are close enough that he considers you his best man anyway. It's up to you, which is what your dad says. You can have a good relationship either way.