Dr. Andrew

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Are there ways to tell if you're really in love. I've gone out with this guy but IDK if it's true love.

There are no absolute ways to tell unless you're willing to go get your brain scanned for thousands of dollars. In the meantime, try using our app, Love Shopping List. It will definitely help.

My parents raised me to be a traditionalist. The problem is with my friends. They don't treat their gf's with respect and then make fun of me. I don't want to blow them off. How should this be handled?

Just smile and keep doing what you've been doing. As a good friend used to say, "DTRT," Do the right thing.

Me and this lady are both 49. We were both married once but no kids. I'm committed but she keeps saying she's not sure. What gives?

Some people take longer to figure out relationships than others. Some never get there. You'll have to wait and see. Tick tock, tick tock.

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My grandpa is always giving me advice on dating. I love him but he's wrong about today's dating. What do I say?

Just say, "Thank you." Nothing else needs or should be said.

My gf's children disrespect her all the time. It really bothers me. Should I say something?

You are NOT their parent. You can discuss your upset with your gf, but interfering will only make you the target. Don't go there. It will be disastrous.

My daughter screams at my gf. I've tried to stop her but it doesn't work. It's getting in the way of my relationship. ????

Either your daughter has been "taught" well by your ex, or she's just having trouble accepting someone else with you, or both. You should set consequences, positive and negative, for her behaviors. Remember that positive reenforcement, reward, is the best shaper of behavior.

I downloaded Love Shopping List. It really opened my eyes. Just curious. How is it so accurate?

Thank you. We spent years figuring out the algorithm so that we could empower others to make better relationship choices. Glad to hear it really helped you. Stay tuned for the phase!

I was really popular in high school and dated a lot but nothing ever got serious. My bf doesn't believe me that nothing ever happened. How can I convince him? He's a nice guy.

This is not your issue, it's his. Your bf is VERY insecure. You don't have to convince him of anything. Either he believes you, or it's time to move on.

My bf's parents were Holocaust survivors (they're both gone now). I understand there's a certain behavioral syndrome associated with children of Holocaust survivors. Since I'm not Jewish I know nothing about this. Should I be worried? I went through a nasty divorce years ago and I don't want that

Yes, there are certain common behaviors among many of the adult children of Holocaust survivors. But that doesn't necessarily mean they are off limits for a relationship. Like most relationships, there will be issues to overcome. Get some professional help.

This guy comes from a really rich family in another country. He wants to fly me on a private plane back to meet his family. This really worries me. What if I'm there and it's a nightmare. How do I handle it then?

Do your due diligence first. Get as much information as you can about him and his family. Contact your country's embassy and let them know your itinerary just in case. And then, if all checks out, enjoy the hell out of the trip.

This guy I want to date has no online presence, zero. That worries me like maybe he's got this hidden stuff about him. I don't want to seem paranoid but I want some information before I can make a decision about dating. Am I being too nuts?

No, you aren't. In this day and age one can't be too cautious. Since you have zero info, you can't use an online service. I would recommend seeking the services of a private investigator. It's worth the money so you don't get burned.

My bf was raised by two gay men. My bf is perfectly straight but lots of other people are saying that he'll turn gay later. Can that happen?

Homosexuality is not something one turns. Just because he was raised by two men does not mean he's a "closet gay" man. Those telling you that are just plain wrong. People listen to myths and think the myths are facts.

Me and my bf are seriously thinking about getting married. I asked him for his credit score and he freaked out. Shouldn't we both know about each other's finances? WTF?

That kind of reaction tells me he's in financial trouble. You are correct that you should both know about these things BEFORE getting married. I'm assuming you gave him yours. He needs to step up and show that he's not in some kind of trouble. Honesty goes a long way in something like this. He may be embarrassed or ashamed, but he still needs to come clean.

I love to dance. My gf won't dance unless she has a drink or two but then she's awesome. Is she an alcoholic?

There are many other factors that determine the label of alcoholic. I'm guessing she just has a lot of anxiety, and the drinks relax her. As long as she doesn't go overboard, all should be ok. But she should get some pro help for her anxiety.

I'm 16. My step father is great except he questions every guy that takes me out. It's annoying. I know he cares but how do I tell him to back off without coming across as a little bitch?

He truly cares about you. Don’t shut that off.

We are both in our 30's and divorced. We've been dating for about 6 months. Is there a right amount of time before we move in together?

There is no “right” other than when the two of you feel the time is right. Every couple has their own clock.

My bf and friends go ballistic watching sports on tv. I don't get it. He says sports is part of his life. Am I supposed to learn about them?

You don’t have to, but since you’re with them, you’d have more fun.

My aunt and uncle raised me because my dad was never around and my mom was a druggie. I want them to walk me down the aisle. Now my parents want to be involved all of a sudden. What should I do?

The two of you should do what YOU want to do. Your parents will have to deal with the consequences of what they did.

This guy at school keeps sending me these nasty texts. IDK where he got my number from. I tried blocking him but he keeps getting through. What do I do?

Report to either a school official or law enforcement immediately! Don’t delay

What is considered and "affirmative" answer to having sex? I'm a guy and I'm totally confused.

It’s either a “yes” or it means “no”. Anything less is not ok

I have really bad anxiety, and I hate going out in public, what can I do to feel comfortable going out in public?

You need to talk to a therapist that specializes in this problem.

How do you define Love?

Scientifically, it's a chemical reaction in the brain that can be seen by imaging. But we all know it means so much more than that. Everyone has her/his own definition.

I try to do everything for my bf but he doesn't do a whole lot for me back. I like doing things but a little return once in awhile would be nice. How do I get him to do stuff for me without me having to ask?

You need to have a talk with him and express what you need. You can also ask him why he doesn't do anything. It's important that you get your needs met if the relationship is going to work.

My first cousin is having a destination wedding. We can't afford to go but she is giving me shit about not coming. What do I say?

You tell her simply that you can't afford it. It's the truth. She needs to know that there are also others that probably can't come because they can't afford it. And don't feel guilty. You are doing the right thing if you can't go.


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