My kid sister keeps trying to set me up with her friends. I’ve said not to but she keeps doing it. I date occasionally and like it but I’m not interested in anything serious right now. Should I just go out with her friends?

July 08, 2016

Your sister obviously thinks a lot of you, so much that she wants to set you up with her friends. It's a compliment. Thank her, but tell her exactly what you say here, that you are just not interested in dating a lot right now. Tell her that if you become more interested, you will let her know. That being said, you might want to try some dates. You never know how they will turn out.

We are two females who are very close. We’ve messed around a little but nothing too serious. Now people call us lesbians. Why do people think they need to label us? We are very self conscious now.

July 08, 2016

Regardless of how badly people want to believe there can be no labels, the simple fact is all of us label things. That is never going to change. Just give it some time. If you are bold enough, you can even ask a guy out. After all, this is 2016. Lots of people experiment with their sexuality. I wouldn't be too concerned about the long-term.

Our parents are divorced. Me and my bro realized our dad was a cheater. I’m worried that my bro will take after him. Are things like this genetic?

July 08, 2016

They are not genetic in the sense that they are not passed on by DNA, but some things are often "passed on" by role modeling of a parent. Talk to your brother. It would probably help both of you to talk with a professional about how it made you feel. Keep in mind that it probably will color your behavior, too, but from the female victim side.

Me and this guy went to the prom together. We both got pretty smashed and spent the night hooking up at a hotel. Now he keeps wanting to keep it up but I’m not interested. I don’t want to hurt him but how do I get it to stop?

July 08, 2016

You are just going to have to be honest with him. Let him know that while you think he's a nice guy, and you were together for prom, you are really not interested in taking it any farther. Tell him exactly what you say in your question, that you don't want to hurt him.

I've been intimate with 3 women, and so far I have the same reaction. I get turned on and all that, but mentally I feel far away, almost like an out of body experience (not in a good way). When we're finished I feel empty inside. What could this mean? is sex overrated, or am I w/ the wrong people?

July 01, 2016

My guess is that you are holding back and overanalyzing the situation. You are not allowing your body to take over. The best way to feel fulfilled with intimacy is to not hold back. You are somehow afraid to really let go, so your logical brain is trying to protect you by immediately going into defensive mode because it has lost control at that moment of orgasm. Tell your brain to take a time out.

I get so turned on by videos of women using strap ons on men. I've even considered hiring a dominatrix for that purpose. I've always identified as heterosexual, but does being into this make me gay?

July 01, 2016

Exploring various sexual behaviors does not make you either gay or straight. You are experimenting. Many males wonder what it would be like to be a female in a sexual encounter, and many females wonder the same about a male role. As long as no one is getting hurt or shamed, or doing anything illegal, all should be fine.

I keep having erotic dreams about a co worker. She is attractive, but I respect the fact that she's married, and she's not flirtatious at all. Will these dreams stop?

July 01, 2016

Probably not right away. You are looking at the "forbidden fruit." You are fantasizing. It's perfectly healthy. In fact, many sex therapists advocate having fantasies. It's good that you are respecting the fact she is married.

I never masturbated during puberty; now I'm in my 20's and I'm thinking about starting. Is that pathetic?

July 01, 2016

Masturbating is a perfectly natural behavior. Other than religious fanatics, there is no shame, and it's not pathetic. As the old joke goes, 85% of people masturbate, and the other 15% are liars.

My bf is only affectionate in private. Whenever we are out he doesn’t show any affection. I’ve asked him about this but he just says its not appropriate. It’s not like we are getting it on. What’s the big deal?

July 01, 2016

Different people are raised with different standards of displays of affection, especially in public. Many times it's a cultural issue. As long as he treats you well and doesn't ignore you, that should be enough. You don't say if he's ok with something like holding hands. Since he's affectionate in private, he may just feel that pda's are disrespectful to you. Communication is the key.

I would like to date this girl but I’m not sure how to get it all set up. We talk a lot almost everyday but when it comes to asking her out I freeze. Can you give me some “lines” that would make it easier? It would be most appreciated.

July 01, 2016

You don't need lines. You just need to be yourself. Just keep talking. You will know when the time is right. Don't try to force the issue. Typically, people don't like pickup lines. It's way too shallow. But if you insist -- "Hey Baby, you know what would look good on you? Me, 'cause I look good on everybody!" NOT

Me and my gf have decided we want to try non binary dating. The problem is that people know us as a couple. How do we let others know we are open to dating either gender?

July 01, 2016

You don't say whether or not the two of you are breaking up as a couple before dating others. If you are breaking up, it's really not any different than anyone else getting the word out that they are available. If you are staying together but want an open style relationship, you are going to have some difficulty. Others may feel that they would be disrespecting you if they moved in. You are just going to have to play this by ear and see how things go. Non binary dating, especially when remaining together, is a new concept, and no one really knows how to handle it.

My bf’s father is an alcoholic. He gets messy drunk.. I don’t like being around him. I realize my bf doesn’t control him but it almost makes me want to break up. He’s disgusting. What can I do?

July 01, 2016

You can explain exactly what you state to your bf, that you don't choose to be around his father. You should even explain why. Your bf may be too ashamed and embarrassed to really do or say anything, OR his father could be an abusive alcoholic behind closed doors. You don't need to subject yourself to any situation that makes you so uncomfortable. You may not have control over his father, but you have control over you.

My boyfriend wants me to dress his version of sexier. I think I dress just fine. I don’t like being used as a trophy. What should I tell him?

July 01, 2016

Let's start at the end and work backwards. GET A NEW BOYFRIEND! Unless your styling is really off and you look like an old maid, dress how you feel most comfortable. He IS attempting to use you as a trophy. If you give in to his demands, you objectify yourself. Tell him there' a difference between classy and sexy and that you are more comfortable being classy. Can we say SHALLOW?

There’s a guy I hooked up with just before school was out. Now he’s not even calling me. I thought we’d be together for the summer. I’m pissed. I’d like to text him an f-u message. All my friends think that’s stupid. Am I wrong?

July 01, 2016

Hooking up, your own words, does not necessarily imply a relationship. Casual sex is just that ... casual. Neither party is obligated. To expect that he has an obligation to continue communicating just because of a quickie is no being realistic. Maybe underneath it all you are "pissed" at yourself for just having meaningless sex. Think about it.

Our grandson is gay. We have no problem with it and enjoy the company of him and his partner. His parents (our son) have almost disowned him. We’ve tried to model good behavior but it’s not workings. Do you have any suggestions?

July 01, 2016

Just keep being the best, loving, accepting grandparents you can be. There is little you can do about his parents. They are choosing their rigid belief system over their relationship with their son. Hopefully at some point in their lives they will realize their mistake and make amends. If they don't, it will be their loss.

How long do you answer questions for? I sent one last week and it wasn't answered.

July 01, 2016

We usually answer questions between 6-7PM PST on Thursdays. You can always Direct Message us on Twitter if it's something for which you need an immediate answer. Sorry that we missed you.

My mother is overbearing when it comes to my relationships. I’m 21 but she treats me like I’m 14. I love her dearly, but she has ruined it for me 2 times already. I don’t want to hurt her, but I need her to stop. I’m going with someone now and don’t want to lose this one too. Tell me what to say

June 24, 2016

I’m guessing that this has been the way your mother has always interacted with you. You are trying to get away from being the classic “Mama’s boy.” You need to sit down with her and respectfully explain what the “new you” looks like. It will take time to change the dynamic between the two of you.

Me and this girl have been seeing each other. I just found out her ex moved back into town. I’m worried about what to do. She hasn’t said anything but what do I do now? I know it’s her decision but I don’t want to get hurt.

June 24, 2016

As you said, it’s her decision. Keep in mind it is her “ex.” That means they broke up. You are not married, so neither of you is bound to the other. Just enjoy whatever the relationship is. If it’s to be, it will be. Otherwise, just move on.

My bf’s father made a really nasty comment about what happened in Orlando Florida last week. I never saw that side of him. I’m wondering what my bf thinks. I don’t want to be with somebody who has hidden ideas like his father. How do I find out?

June 24, 2016

It’s time to sit down with your bf and have an open, honest discussion. It certainly is possible that he has been exposed to his father’s ideas, but it’s also possible that he has a very different idea of what is right and wrong. You will only find out by discussing it. You are risking your relationship, but better to know what you are really getting into.

My gf has recently started to wear these ummm really revealing clothes. I asked her why but she just said that she like them. This weirds me out. It makes me feel like she’s on the hunt. Don’t get me wrong. She looks good but why would she do this?

June 24, 2016

Probably because she likes the attention. In any event you have to examine your own feelings. Ask yourself how you think it reflects on you. Ultimately, it’s her choice, but you may have to make some hard choices of your own.

How do I get my bf not to drink so much when we go out? He always gets sloppy drunk.

June 24, 2016

Unfortunately, your bf may have a really serious alcohol problem. I suggest you go to an Alanon meeting and talk to the people their.. All of them have been through similar situations and can give you really good advice.

I’m 52 and my bf is 28. It works for us but my mother has a huge problem with it. His parents are pretty cool with it. I don’t have any “deep psychological problems” but you would think so listening to others. Why the harsh judgment?

June 24, 2016

Of course, as you know, if a male were 24 years older, it wouldn’t get the same reaction. I would ignore what is being said. You are both consenting adults. If it works for you, great. Just be true to yourselves.

My gf has begun to put on a lot of weight. I’m more concerned about her health than anything, but people have started to ask me if she’s ok. I don’t know what to say, so I just tell them yes. Do I say anything to her? She doesn’t seem upset about anything so I don’t know what’s up.

June 24, 2016

Since this question has come up before, I’ll give you the same answer. Ask her how she would like you to respond when other people ask you if she’s ok. This way it take you out of being the bad guy.

Me and my gf decided it was better to split up when we graduated high school. We are going to different colleges. I REALLY miss her.. How do I get past this?

June 24, 2016

First, let me say it’s a good decision. Going away to college and being tied to a distant relationship means you won’t really be able to enjoy the full experience of college because their will always be some degree of guilt and in some cases always doubts. If it was a good relationship while it lasted, of course it will take some time to heal. It’s much harder to break up when you both still really like each other.

My father in law to be has a VERY different view of politics than me. I have tried not engaging because we just end up in a screaming match. I don’t want it to break up my relationship with my fiancé. ????

June 17, 2016

The best advice is just don't discuss politics or religion with people who are very fanatic about either. You are never going to just have a "discussion." It will generally ALWAYS lead to an argument. You are fine just telling him that you don't discuss either. If he persists, just excuse yourself from the room.

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