Dr. Andrew

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Do you think it’s fair that my brother got to start dating at 16 but just because I’m a daughter I have to wait? I tried talking to my parents but they won’t listen.

It’s not a question of fair. It’s about your parents’ feelings about the situation. In an ideal world there should be no difference between when a son is at risk versus when a daughter is at risk. Unfortunately, this is far from an ideal world. Women get attacked much more frequently than men. I’m guessing you probably think your parents don’t’ trust you, but it’s actually that they don’t trust the world around you. Even now as the father of an adult daughter I am more protective of her than of our adult son. Thank them for trying to protect you. They love you very much.
Liked by: Chianna Dunblazier

The only way I can go out on a date with a girl is if I knock down a few shots of jack first. I know this is not healthy but I don’t know what else to do. I get really nervous to the point I feel like throwing up. I want to date but I’m so scared. How do other guys get through this?

Two of the best possibilities for you are either biofeedback and/or hypnosis. Either are better than the Jack, which will only numb your senses. I would also suggest some psychotherapy to explore the roots of your anxiety. All of it together will help you going forward.

My kid sister dates losers. She is now on bf number 5 and she’s only 20. She keeps saying she’s learned but she keeps making the same mistake by falling for a guy before she really knows him.Is there anyway to help her? Yes, I’m her big “overprotective” brother. I plead guilty.

If you are close with her, try sitting down and asking her this question. "What do you really want?" If you have already downloaded our app, Love Shopping List, it will help her to create this list.

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How do I let him know I want him back? I’m sure he is in a lot of pain but so am I.

Don't be so sure he is in a lot of pain. You probably caused much more pain before he left.

I made a huge mistake and now I don’t know what to do. I think I was just really confused. We’ve been married 3 years and somehow I thought I wanted to be free again. I told him. He moved out 3 weeks ago. I miss him very much but he won’t return any of my calls, texts, or emails.

Hey, you called the shots, and now you are just going to have to wait to see what he does. He gets to call the shots now. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you are foolish and make bad decisions.

My bf thinks destination weddings are disrespectful. I don’t. I think since its our day, we get to say where. He says it will limit the people who can come. I say if they think we are a priority they will come. Who’s right?

Some people have destination weddings because they actually want to limit the number of guests that come. That's not what I am hearing. Just because it's your day does not mean you get to expect that other people do whatever you want. I don't think destination weddings are necessarily disrespectful, but you are certainly not entitled to one, and that's what it sounds like.

I went out with this really nice girl. She asked me if I would like to split the bill at the restaurant. I didn’t know what to do so I said sure. It seemed like she got mad. I don’t know if she was just asking to be polite then expected me to say no. I hope I didn’t blow it. How do I find out?

Hey, she asked. If she was not interested in splitting the bill, she should not have volunteered. You are not a mind reader. If she got mad for that, it should be a giant warning sign to you.

I know I’m probably being picky but this guy came over for dinner empty handed. Maybe its the way I was raised but I was always taught to show up with something, flowers, some small gesture. I feel like dumping him right now but my friends says he’s really nice and thoughtful. Am I being snobby?

Yes, you are being snobby. He may not have been taught. If all else is great, give the guy a chance.

This girl at school is super popular. Lately she has been hitting me up on FB. I’m not sure if she’s playing me. I’m kind of shy so I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t want to get hurt. What do I do?

Just play back. Nothing serious, just play. You will know soon enough what's going on. Maybe she is shy, too, and this is her way of connecting.

Our daughter is going with this guy who treats her really badly. He is always puts her down. She is 19. My husband and I are ready to confront him (especially my husband who is 6’5 and a former college football player). Our daughter says it’s not big deal when we’ve talked to her. Any advice please?

I'm going to give you some professional advice and then some personal advice. Professionally, all you can do is continue to talk with your daughter and explain that you love her and just want to make sure she's happy. Personally, my daughter is an adult and if some guy treated her poorly, I would have a serious "discussion" with him.

I thought me an “Jill” were bff. Since she started going with this guy it’s like I don’t exist anymore. I totally get that she should spend the most time with him but she dropped my like a hot potato. I’ not sure whether to tell her off or just wait to see what happens. Your advice?

If you tell her off, you will lose a friend. Just give her a little space for awhile and see if anything changes. If it doesn't, just gently tell her that you miss her. Especially if it's a new relationship for her, they need to solidify themselves. You can tell her that you realize she should be with her bf, but could you two still do some things together.

I have a crush on him. But most people I know told me that he is Gay. Should I believe that or not?

As with any attempt to connect to someone, just be friends with him first. You will know soon enough if he has any interest in you returned. These other people may just be going on rumors. Unless someone knows for sure, just go about doing what you usually do. Even if he's gay, your "crush" may just turn into a good friendship

I don’t know how to handle this. I’m dating this guy. He told me upfront he was also going out with this other girl. I was ok at first but now I’m starting to get really upset.. How do I handle this? I like him a lot but I’m not interested in open dating.

You knew what the rules were when you started going out with him. He was honest with you from the start. You obviously have had a change of heart. You are either going to have to deal with what he is doing, or you need to end the relationship.
Liked by: Chianna Dunblazier

Whenever my bf comes over my dad offers him a drink. My bf tries to be polite but he really doesn’t drink. He just doesn’t want to offend my father. He doesn’t know what to do. How does somebody tell somebody else they don’t drink?

He needs to just simply say thank you, but I no longer drink. Your dad will just have to respect that.

What’s the right number of times you should go out with somebody before having sex?

There is no right number. It's entirely up to the partners that wish to engage in intimate ask. Use your best judgment.

My Grandpa has been the most important man in my life. I have depended on him in a lot of ways. Here’s the problem. He doesn’t like my gf. He says she is putting on a fake front and he’s worried about me getting hurt. I’m scared because he is often so right. I’m confused because I think she’s OK.

Sit down with your grandpa and ask him what he sees. Since he has been so right in the past, you would not want to ignore what he is telling you. You will still have to make the final decision

is it okay to ask a guy out in a text? I’m kind of shy. I’m worried I’ll look like a fool in front of him. I think he would like to go out but I don’t know.

It really depends on your social circle. In this day and age it is fairly common for people to invite each other over social media. Some people still prefer the old-fashioned way. That's entirely up to you

My step mom is real nice but I want my real mom to help me with my wedding. I haven’t been close to my real mom. My step mom has been more of a mother. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. My bf says I should include both of them but I’m worried there could be an argument. Should I include both?

It would be a very nice gesture to include them both. What you need to do is to sit down with both of them before hand and explain what you want and how you want it done so that there are no arguments. Enjoy your big day

This girl, I’ll call her Mary, has been saying things about my bf that aren’t true. He says I should leave it alone but I feel like calling her out on it. I feel like if I don’t defend him I’m not being a good girlfriend. What do you think?

Your boyfriend is telling you what he would like done. I can certainly understand why you would be upset, but you need to respect his wishes.

Me and my sister are very close. She is pretty close to my gf too. She wants to help plan our wedding and now my gf is pissed. What do I do?

No matter how close you and your sister are, it's not her wedding and she needs to understand that there is no more discussion

I am bisexual and keep getting hate for it, what should I do?

There will always be haters. All you can do is be true to your self. Sexual preference is a matter of personal choice. Be the best person you can be, and let everybody else who would ever opinions they want. Eventually people will get to know the real you.

My partner and I are both females. This guy at work keeps hitting on me. It’s not sexual harassment just kind of casual stuff. What do I tell him?

There will be an appropriate time that you can mention you are in a relationship. No need to give him any more details than that unless you want to. It really is no different than if you were a straight couple. You could still say the same thing.

This girl keeps sending me pics of herself. I’m not a mean person so I don’t want to do anything to hurt her but I want her to stop. I have no interest in her especially after her doing this. Is there some way to get her to stop without being mean?

First, I'm pretty sure you should be able to block her. That would take care of one problem. You should simply say to her that you would appreciate her stopping the pics to you. She will probably ask why. Just tell her that they are nice pics but you are not interested. She clearly has boundary issues, but you should set yours firmly. Get this taken care of before it gets worse.

Me and my bf have been talking about moving in together. We made plans but he just lost his job. He still thinks we should move in to save money. I’m not so sure I want to do it unless he gets a job. I’m not interested in supporting him. Am I being selfish?

I think you are being cautious. If he were really industrious and had a solid work ethic, I don't think there would be the same hesitation. Something tells me that you think he is really not a hard worker. That's why you are having second thoughts. Yes, you might save money together, but what's the point if you have to shoulder all of the financial pressure. You can tell him that it's best for both of you to be independent and stabilized, otherwise it puts too much pressure on the relationship.

Is it ever possible to get over being cheated on? My husband got drunk at an office party and hooked up with this female. He came home and told me. He swears there’s nothing to it because they were both so drunk. I want to believe him but I am so hurt I want to punch him.

At least he came home and immediately told you. That's a plus. Yes, it's possible, but it takes a lot of work to rebuild the trust. I absolutely think the two of you should see a marriage counselor as soon as an appointment can be set up. Don't sit on this. It will only get worse.


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