Dr. Andrew

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Hey Doc, I'm 17, and today the most amazing girl struck up conversation with me, albeit somewhat brief. We have a class together, but I saw a side of me I'd never seen before...a confident streak. I've never been with anyone, but, I wanna keep talking to her, maybe so that such becomes possible?

It's called chemistry. She obviously talked to you in a way that made you feel very comfortable. That's what gave you the confidence. Keep talking to her, but don't go overboard. Being too over the top will turn her off. Just play it slowly but confidently and see what happens. There are no guarantees, but it sounds like this is a good start.

How do i signal a boy that it's time to court me already?

I will give you the same advice my wife gives to my nieces, since, even thought I'm a psychologist, I can only give you the male perspective. Males are suckers for food and physical attention (not necessarily sex). You can either make him some food, e.g. one of your special dishes or desserts, or you can buy him something he really likes. All you need to do sitting next to him is stroke his arm once gently. It does something to our brains. Think of it as kryptonite for Superman. I can tell you how that works from the male side. VERY WELL!!

There's this boy and we're like gf&bf but we're not. He'll hug me in the back, hold my waist, yeah. I mean, we both like each other but he's still not doing the first step on how he'll court me. And, whenever when we're with our friends we can't have an alone time together. What can you say?

Sounds like he is unsure of himself. He is probably trying to be respectful and no push the limits. Sometimes we males need straight, simple directions. We do much better with direct communication and often miss subtle "hints." Try being honest with him. Tell him how you feel and what you want. The results may surprise you.

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My parents invite me and my bf everywhere. He thinks it's cool. I think it's annoying. They are my parents not my pals. What do you think?

Obviously, your bf likes your parents. That's a very good thing. I'm sure they enjoy your company. There will be places that the two of you go that your parents don't and the other way around. Your parents feel very comfortable with the two of you. Most people would love to have that. Turn your thoughts around and appreciate that your parents are so happy to be with the two of you. My own parents used to get invited to many of our social functions. Our friends loved them and didn't think of them as the "older" generation.

How can I support my gf? She just found out she's got breast cancer. She keeps telling me it's okay for me to break up with her but I would never do that.

You are a wonderful person. Contact your local cancer support organization or go to a hospital that's near you and has a cancer center. They will be able to give you a wealth of support and advice. Once you get comfortable, you can ask your gf if you can go with her to her appointments. She is scared.

My friends keep telling me that my bf is not the right one for me. He's never done anything wrong and always treats me well. I've asked them why, but they just say he will turn on me. What should I do?

It's curious if these are all female friends. Your friends know you very well. If all of them keep telling you this, then you have to ask them what they know that you don't. As the saying goes, if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. Be careful, but remember that your friends are our friends because they care about you.

I'm 17. My dad is way overprotective. When a guy comes to pick me up my dad does like this NCIS thing and asks them all kind of things. How do I get him to back off?

You need to sit down and have the "Dad talk" that daughters often have to have. Your dad just wants to make sure that whatever guy comes around is good enough for his little girl. I know because I am the father of a "girl" and she is 36.

My gf got big tatas. She likes to show them off. I told her it makes her look like a ho. She just laughs and says its funny to watch guys reactions. How do I explain what it really looks like?

This answer is going to sound very strange to you, and it probably is nothing like what you expected. Your gf's behavior sends up a giant red flag for me. Do you know if she was sexually abused when she was younger? Her behavior is part of a pattern of behaviors that goes along with females who have been sexually abused. It will require professional counseling to have her understand why she is doing what she is doing.

My girlfriend wants me stop talking to other girls even if it's in a non-romantic way. Any advice? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYeEl38c2AI

She is obviously a very insecure, jealous person. I would ask her directly why she has trouble with you talking to anyone, male or female. Going with someone does not mean social isolation. She is trying to control you, and that is not a good thing. Try to be more reassuring about your relationship so that she doesn't feel threatened.

My GF and myself greatly differ when it comes to science vs religion. Over the yrs I've become more accepting of her spiritual beliefs but she has made no effort to even listen to what I have to say. If we ever have a child I'd hate to have to keep him/ her so close minded to science.

One of the most important aspects of our app and book, Love Shopping List, is to help you figure out what you really want in a relationship and to priorities what you want. Yours is not a unique situation. I have had many couples who thought that certain things didn't matter that much until they had children. Then those things became VERY important. Relationships are about compromise. If she's not meeting you half way, you have a very big problem moving forward.

My friends got me a dominatrix for my birthday and apparently I'm booked for a "chain and collar" session. I'm curious, what actually goes on during that kind of thing?

Yeah, so you may want to do some research and get more information before going to your session. Different places have different techniques but still use the same equipment. Unless you are fairly experienced sexually, it can tend to be quite an upsetting and unsettling experience as two of my former patients would tell you.

There are a lot of profiles on here that claim to give "advice" but I noticed most of them are just run by teenagers. With no professional background like yourself aren't these pages kind of dangerous?

It depends on the word 'dangerous." Personally, I include hurting someone emotionally, especially a younger person. I agree that advice is best from a professional, but I also listen to what everyone says. That way I have a nice cross section and can add in my professional expertise. Our book, Love Shopping List, is now available on all eBook sites including Apple, Kindle, Nook, Barnes & Noble, etc. I've trie to present a cross section of advice and answers to help all stages and ages of relationships.

I've been dating this guy on and off,I feel like he wants nothing from me but my physical aspect,how can I tell if I'm thinking the right thing?

If all roads lead to the same place, then you are probably thinking correctly. Ask him to something that doesn't involve sex, but the two of you can do together, and see how he responds. If he shows no interest, gets bored, or makes up some bullshit excuse, then your feelings are correct. Dump him!!

Is there any law against PDA's?

t really depends on the "affection" that is on public display. Yes, there is a law that's called indecent exposure. Many people just think of this as what used to be call a flasher, but it can be two people. Doing something in public that makes others uncomfortable just for one's own pleasure is rude and disrespectful and can create some problems. Just ask Danielle Watts.

My mom is a single mom. Ever since I got a girlfriend she has gotten an attitude. I asked her if she's jealous but she got madder. An ideas?

Sad to say, but your mom was using you as her emotional partner. That's not fair to you. She needs some professional help to get through this. She sees your girlfriend as taking you away from her, as her competition, her enemy. She is not coming to terms with reality.

You're the "love doctor", right? Well, I have a question for you: how do 17 years of one's life become a wasteland of loneliness and hatred? I've never had the pleasure of another human being's company, and I don't know for the life of me what the problem is :(

I would highly recommend getting some professional help. There is no reason you have to be in such pain. For some good social skills training will help very much. I'm not sure if you are 17 or it's just that it's been 17 years. Either way, you owe it to yourself to be happy. Take the first step, and the rest will follow.

Is it ok to go out with West Side Abes even though he's a creep?

I would definitely steer clear of someone like that. You really have no idea who this person is or what he (assumption) is all about. Bragging about texting so many females is the sign of someone who is really insecure with women, and that can be dangerous.

We've been together for years. He says he loves me but then he won't marry me. He says he is not ready. What do I do?

You need to set a limit in your own mind. You don't necessarily need to tell him, but you need to decide how long your are willing to wait. I'm not sure what "years" means to you, but that tells me that he is most likely not going to ask you to marry him. Sad to say, but that's the way it usually is unless both of you have decided to wait years.

My gf thinks she should have the password to my phone. She says that's the only way she can trust me. Should I give it to her?

She's your gf, not your wife. Have you given her any reason not to trust you? If not, then, no, she should not have your password anymore than you should have hers. Why is she so insecure in your relationship that she has to check on you?

My bf is into hickies but I'm not. I've asked him not to but he still does. I don't want to upset him so I just shut up. Is this something guys get off on?

Obviously, you have not set a firm enough limit. This is disrespectful. You need to tell him that unless he respects what you do to him, he can go give himself a hickie (There's another not-so-nice way of saying that). Why do you continue to go out with someone who does not show you respect? Part of the problem is him, but the biggest part of the problem is you.

I'm getting bored of our relationship :/ My bf used to give me chocolates, sweets, and stuff. But now I feel like he always doesn't have money because he always spends it buying things for himself, and doesn't bother to give me gifts anymore. He spoiled me too much, now I feel unloved:/ advice pls

Maybe you were not showing enough appreciation and were taking things for granted. What kinds of special things did you do for him? Relationships are about doing things for each other. They are not a one-way street. When he does something nice, tell him how much you appreciate it and return the favor.
Liked by: TheMotivator

What does it means when a guy calls you smurftee ?

Well, it's one of two things, and it depends on what is being used in your circle. 1) a smurf is someone who fakes that they don't know what they are doing, e.g. video games or you fake that they don't know about something, but really does. 2) a girl who is a smurf gets it on so intensely that a guy is blue in the face like a smurf. I'm sure there are other definitions, but those are the two that I have come across so far.

My wife wants us both to wear chastity devices as a part of this fetish she's into. We both enjoy bondage, spanking, etc. but this one is new to me. Is there a great danger in wearing chastity devices for prolonged periods of time? She insists we wear them at work and we both have the others keys

As a male, yes there are potential harmful effects for wearing such a device long term. There are studies that have shown that even wearing too tight underwear can cause problems for men.


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