This question has been in my ask box for over 6 months. I clicked the give-me-random-questions button and suddenly it appeared. At the time it seemed pointless, but something in me felt like it was wrong to just delete it. And here I am.

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Yes, I need help. I have serious mental health issues. I get anxiety attacks without warning, suffer from intrusive thoughts, have days where doing anything seems like running a marathon and at least once a day I think about running away from everything and never come back, just vanish. Once in a while over the last couple of months I even had some utterly horrible thoughts like "If a car came speeding at me, would I really try to avoid it?" or "It would sure be nice, if I didn't wake up tomorrow".

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So yes, I need help. And it is so hard for me to say that, to admit that, so please don't attack me. I am already fighting one of those surprise anxiety attacks and I am both super exhausted and completely awake, so everything sucks right now.

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It depends on your relationship, but even then one should tell them almost anything. I would never tell them about the details in my sexual life... although it could be fun to throw that in their face if I ever cut contact to them.

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For me personally there are certain factors that play into me not telling them everything. E.g. I have only told my mum that I am queer because my dad is pretty homophobic, but she is not really supportive either (she is deeply influenced by having been in Jehovah's Witnesses her entire childhood and youth), having uttered the actual sentence "I may tolerate it, but I will never really accept it". I fear my dad's reaction to me being queer.

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Also my parents tend to make light or fun of everything I say or worry about. When I point out racist stuff they make fun of me for being "too PC", when I told them about some dude touching me without my permission my dad said that I was overreacting, when I get agitated with the world and express my wish to change patriarchal structures in society they call me idealistic and tell me I can't save everyone. Whenever I mention mental disorders they say that people with those disorders just need to pull it together, which is also why I haven't told them about the depression I suspect I might have, because they are already telling me that my anxiety is just me being overdramatic.

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I rarely tell my parents anything unless it is something positive, because really I don't have energy or strength to keep arguing with them that everyone has the right to be treated as human beings. It has become triggering for me because only a year or two after I moved out I realized that they have never really listened to me, that they never take me seriously and that I had spent decades trying to gain their recognition even though I shouldn't fight for that; my parents should acknowledge me merely because I am their child, but they only do so when I am successful.

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If you do not include mourning the loss of all my friends, the first of all, if the weather was warm, I would walk around naked for some time, because no one would be able to comment on my body or feel violated by my nudity.

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Then I would probably start to visit different libraries, both to take advantage of having them all to myself and to learn about surviving in the wild, such as hunting, building shelters and tools, cooking and maybe taming and training animals to help me hunt. Since no one would be there to operate the machines in power plants or public transportation or oil platforms, I would have to get around by foot or bike or horse and there would be no electricity or heat or running water in any houses, so my best options would be living close to the wild to have fresh water, materials to build with and animals.

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At some point I would probably get existential as fuck over being the last human being on Earth, feeling incredibly lonely which might end in me killing myself.

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If I didn't commit suicide, I would try to survive for as long as possible, trying to leave my mark on Earth, in case aliens would one day arrive and discover the ruins of some civilization, try to explain what happened (through visual images because they presumably do not know our languages or even our alphabets) and how our society works. Then when I knew that I could no longer go on, due to age, injuries or alike I would kill myself in the wild so that at least my body would be of use to the animals still around.

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