Well you shouldn't be masturbating like that because that'll cause a strong gravitational attraction to the center of the galaxy and then we'd all be screwed because we'll all be attacked by flying snails and be gassed by pufferfish
(farts silently and waits for the reaction) GAHHHHH! WHY'D YOU LIGHT A MATCH THERE YOU IDIOT? MY ASS IS ON FIRE NOW!!!! Please excuse my idiot best friend
No
Oh am I making you laugh?
You got dat stanky booty
No, unless your abs are abnormally uniformally shaped lumps of fat that are also abnormally firm