Hahahaha. I'd cook them up a trip to the awesome Mexican joint in the next town. My treat, of course.
You're going to make me choose?! Oh, the agony. But I guess gun-to-my-head:
1. Karen Bee
2. Shinobu Mail
3. Tsubasa Cat
4. Hitagi End
5. Hitagi Crab
6. Suruga Devil
7. Nadeko Medusa
8. Yotsugi Doll
9. Mayoi Snail
10. Nadeko Snake
11+: everything else
Generally in order of song quality + visual strength, I suppose.
Man, you are asking the wrong person here. I actually find the typical MMO mantra of "Complete a series of nearly identical repetitive tasks over and over to receive incremental rewards" to be fairly relaxing. I spent days, if not weeks, of my life flying around in WoW picking flowers while chatting with people on Vent. And those are some of my fondest gaming memories.
I feel like "Love Plus" is kind of the default answer here, with a corollary joke answer of "Fire Emblem Fates".
But I actually most want to recommend the Galaxy Angel games for being one-part Waifu Simulator, one-part Space Opera, and one-part real-time strategy game. These games also have the benefit of being non-PC releases, so they're actually not H-games. If that's not enough, they also feature both Miyuki Sawashiro and Yukari Tamura as Best Girls.
Group Song: Start:Dash
Subunit Song: Cutie Panther
Off-unit song: After School Navigators
Duo Song: Beat in Angel (for obvious reasons)
Solo Song - Anone Ganbare Rin Ver. or Daring!!
Bonus non-μ's Song - Shocking Party
Bees, I guess.
Spiders don't bother me. I don't really get clowns. I like dogs. I don't really have the luxury of a needle phobia for health reasons.
But bees are goddamn terrifying. They're poisonous, they can fly, they're loud, and always come in numbers somewhere between "metric f*ckton" and "Swirling black could of pain and death".
As rarely as is feasibly possible.
Is this some kind of trick question?
If Madoka can do it, so can I
Wait, I don't see how that's much different from regular prison. I mean, isn't the whole point of prison to be inescapable?
I consider the privatization of the prison system as one of the major social failings of the US in recent history. So reducing the need for guards, oversight, maintenance, and actual infrastructure via magical prison-universe is something I could potentially get on-board with.