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12:00

رانشو الرفيق، عمتَ حُبّاً وسكينة.
مرّ يومٌ ممتدٌّ يكاد لا يُحسب إلّا من خيالاتكَ التي عانقتني ووهَبت ليَ روحاً جديدة، بخلاف تلك التي ذلبت من بعد أوّل فكرةٍ ليومي بلاك. عصفورٌ آخر مات بجوار قلبي، وابيضّت عيناي من فرط البُكاء، كأنّهما تواسياني حتى نشفت دموعي فأُعيدت تعبئتها عدّة مرات لا مُنتهية. أشعرُ بقلبي يتخبّط بكلّ ما أوتيَ من حُزنٍ ويأس. لن أُقدم على الانتحار ولكنّي لا أُمانعُ الموت. لم أشعر بخوفٍ كهذا من قبل، الخوف من موت تفاصيلي وانقطاع صوتي والغناء، الخوف من عدم استطاعتي لأن أجيئك فأبوحُ بخوفي بلا خَوف. النّجدة.
اعتدتُ حين الخلافات أن أهرُب منكَ فآتيك أطلبُ المساعدة، أينكَ منّي الآن؟
هذا كثيرٌ لاحتمله. سأفعل على أيّة حال، لم تنتهِ بعدُ المعركة، وأنا سأُقاتل فإمّا النّصرُ وإمّا النّصر. سأحظى بكَ أخيراً، هكذا يتحدّثُ كتابنا المُقدّس، أتذكُر؟ لا تنسَ.
أتعلم؟ يا عزيزي، أعدتُّ لك وجبة حُبّ فتّش بقلبك ستجدُها وتجدُني، تناولها لآخرها وأحبّني، سأعدُّ لك الغداء كلّ يومٍ ووردة.
وإنّي لأهوى النّوم لأُقبّل عينيكَ في المنام، كيف حالُ عينيك؟ أما زالت نجومي بأكملها تُضيء؟
عناقٌ أبديٌّ وحُبّ.

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آنسة سارّة، كما تحبين، أقصد سيدتي، لن أكثر الثرثرة، أنا أحترمك جداً من عقلي ومن قلبي أيضاً. سيدة روحي، صدف أن رأيتك مرةً في احدى الطرقات، سألت عنك، عرفت اسمك، علقت بروحي، وها أنا أكتب لك. قلبي معجبٌ بك، ولكني صاحب فلسفةٍ وخلقٍ رفيع، وخلقي يمنعني من التصريح بالكثير من الكلام. روحي تسلم عليك 💜🌷

سيّد لا أدري، شكرٌ كبير وسلام لَك ولِروحك، ولرسالَتك التي عَلقت في القلبِ والذّاكرة، مُمتنّةٌ لَك🌹

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أمِير أيمَن
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that I am breathing fine but under water and you still don't care
but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that I broke my perfume and I can't fix it and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and still tell you that I am under the sun heat but freezing and you still don't care but I still love you.
You still ask how I am and I still ask you how I seem and tell you that things aren't as it seems and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that even though I am the darkness I am afraid from dark places and you still don't care but I still love you.
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that every part of me that hasn't got any relationship with you is perfect and then I tell you that I don't have any perfect parts , you have occupied me like falling asleep , slowly at first then all at once and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you my eyes are full of soap but I can see properly and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that my moon is crucified and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that it's okay not to be okay and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that I am drowning in the grey zone but far away from it and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that my lake is drying and you still don't care but I still love you.
You still ask how I am and I still take minutes deciding and you still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that there is a hole here in my heart and yoy still don't care but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still tell you that I am happy and you still don't care , you still don't know that when I am happy I can't paint , can't live but I still love you .
You still ask how I am and I still open my book to , my heart to read for you but you still don't care , you still prefer work and business on...... me but , but... I still love you .
You still ask how I am , You still pretend you are interested and I still believe, I still believe,,Fuck !! I still believe! I still deny it's acting ,shit !
But I still love you and , and I can't help myself from looking for you .
When laying , I could stay there close my eyes ,,see you , feel you , forever ,you and me together , believe me nothing is better .
And You still ask me if I remember you , and I still tell you my dear how will I remember you if I don't forget you .
And You still hurt me and you don't care but I still love you..
-Raedah 🌷

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