Ask @Snewell:

If you saw someone shoplifting, what would you do?

I would walk up behind them and tell them to meet me behind the store immediately. There i would explain that we were being watched by the government and weren't safe to talk inside. I would then take them to a safe location, but knowing the government they would capture the person from me no matter where we went. I would eventually find the holding cell where i would knock out the guard with chloroform. I would remove the key from his belt and unlock the cell, at which time i would poop on their shoes and run away. Don't shoplift people, i'll poop on your shoes.

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