Ask @TheCriminalViolin:

Do you like modern art?

In terms of the popular "Multi-Million dollar" stuff, especially in paintings? NOT A CHANCE. Most of it is literally the equivalent to what we did when we were kids. Squirt some paint on paper & fold it, then squish it together & peel it apart again. And yet if you're not "famous", then when you do such, "Oh how childish of you". I'm so lost in the modern world.

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What is the secret to a happy life?

Self Love & Happiness. That with great friends, family & life create such a vibrantly positive & happy atmosphere. Though sometimes people have all of that (i.e Robin Williams) and yet still feel lost & unhappy for reasons unknown to anyone including them. That's because it's caused by a Biochemical imbalance in their brain. Sadly you're more likely to get struck by lightning, and get attacked by a shark (both extremely rare) and survive both with no issues than to find a doctor that isn't another cog in the corporate machine out to get the industry a paycheck. What I mean is, docs are paid to keep you sick & imbalanced, not to get you healthy & keep you healthy. They'd lose lots of money. They're paid to keep you sick & treat a symptom or two, and ignore looking at the bigger picture, what the causation is, and how to alleviate it. Docs need to start doing the right thing & get people healthy & keep them healthy. So for those with the biochemical imbalance they need to help them figure out what chemicals are off & find a way to get them regulated & imbalance and then help them keep it balanced.

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What does it mean when a bird poops on you?

That the Emporer of all Unicorns has gnawed off his left front leg and the stub that is left needs buttering. This also means that Sasquatch has called for the armed protection of the remaining Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus population, and this naturally means donuts are now officially the only food group in the world, and all must eat at least 142.769 donuts per day, or you will be put to death via Death By Stick. As a result of this domino effect, Cheesus Crust will then announce to the world that Jesus Christ is a false story & figure intentionally implanted into many people's minds. He will then proceed to announce that the one true lord & savior of all is Shiba LeWoof, and all must worship him and become children of the buttery cob and attend The First Church Of Shiba LeWoof daily for video games, dank memes, and luscious foods, which is only donuts & bacon naturally. He will then make spontaneous Nerf Wars a daily requirement for everyone. All offenders shall be smited by his heavenly fuzz, and totally memorable powerless, Shiba LeWoof. And that my friends, is what it means when a bird poops on that brand new jacket you got from the gift shop on the waterfront. Mind = Blown. I know, I know.

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