@abelleinbk

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I'm 21 and I feel like my relationship with my family isn't a healthy one. Problem is, I still depend on them time to time for money but they're super control, my mom has called me a "stupid bitch," on more than one occasion, etc.. If I distance myself they say I'm "stuck up." What do I do?

It isn't.
When you depend on people for money, unfortunately, putting up with their ish, even name-calling and controlling, is part of the deal.
Your best bet? Become self-sufficient and distance yourself. Let them call you "stuck up". It's better than being present and being called a "bitch." (Been there, heard that. Doesn't feel good and the sting doesn't really go away.)

Why are there so many games being played while dating? How come liking is defined as thirst and chivalry is defined as controlling?

Because people are afraid of getting hurt and make not so great decisions as a result.
Only immature people think like = thirst and chivalry = control.
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Liked by: _

What value do you put on a person relationship with their parents when dating? Does the parental relationship affect how they date?

Whatever the relationship, you'd like it to be peaceful at the point you come along, even of they don't speak/ agree to disagree about their issues.
Yes.

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What does it say about your relationship if arguing is a norm? Is arguing an effective form of communication? Why or why not?

There's an underlying issue that's not being addressed.
No. No one likes to be yelled at. You only become defensive and stop discussing the issue at hand.
It's better when you can wait to discuss after you calm down and can focus on problem solving.

Do we have to compete on the dating scene or is there just "somebody for everybody"? Why do some people get dates often and some never?

Yes. But not in a cut throat way. Just bring your A-game.
There are many somebodies for everybody. Love is what you make and with whom you make it.
The people who get dates often are usually attractive and/or know how to flirt and/or go out a lot and meet people.
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Liked by: J.S.

Is shacking up important before marriage? Is marriage really "just a piece of paper" or is that being used as an excuse to not commit?

Not really, but I get why people insist on it. You can make a marriage work without doing so (as evidenced for thousands of years before it was acceptable to live together pre-marriage.)
Is a $1,000,000 check written out to you just a piece of paper? Well, then.

This guy he was my prom date we talked but never go into a relationship. I went away for college. He got a gf and was tryin to pick me up as a side. I found out and ended all contact. He has been chasing me ever since. Apologizing claiming he was young and stupid. We r both single. 2nd chance? Or no

How long ago?

I am best friends with my ex-boyfriend. We dated in high school and parted ways because I went away for college, but always kept in constant contact. Is having a friendship with your ex healthy? Or, should it be ended if I ever expect to move on?

Constant contact? Hmmm. That doesn't sound platonic to me.
You can be "friends" with an ex, but if you have feelings and he's playing the role of your defacto boyfriend and/or filling emotional voids, you're blocking your blessings. There's no place for a new boo.
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Liked by: Cathy J.S.

I have mutual friends with a cutie. We've never met but I was thinkin abt giving him my number on twitter. Normally I wouldn't be so forward but the twist is he's kind of high profile.i feel like I have to just cut to the chase & be like "here's my number, hit me up when ur in town."What do u think?

That's a jump off move. You don't know him from anyone, but your passing out your contact info for a man who's put in zero effort? No.
Start a conversation, build with him so you stand out. Unless you're just trying to have sex. At which point you can send your number and a sexy (clothed) selfie.
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Liked by: Beautifully Complex

I'm dating a guy with three young kids, lives two hours away and has two jobs. He tries his best to be in constant contact with me. We've been taking for a moth and have seen each other twice and it was really good. He's interested but not expressive. Should I walk away?

He doesn't have enough time. Next. THREE young kids? And long distance? And two jobs?
You running track? Cause that's a LOT of hurdles?!
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Liked by: Cathy Janay denise jay Courtney Brown Beautifully Complex

Saw ex after visiting his city for a weekend; he wasn't the purpose of the trip. We wound up spending a lot of time together, catching the other up on our lives. Out of the blue he kisses me. We make out and then proceed as though nothing happened. What's your take? We didn't discuss the why.

It's a kiss. He's attracted to you. He kissed you. You kissed him back. What's there to talk about? It was the moment. And it's just a kiss.
If you want to know what's up, if anything, ASK!!

Ex and I are both 22yrs old,together for 3yrs, and broke up in Nov. He was my first love, & we still love each other but both decided that we cannot be together. We had have sex a few times while he has a new gf & now I just found out I'm pregnant...We both don't know what to do.. any advice?

Bottomline: You want to keep it or no?

How do I suggest a 1st date w/o actually being the one to ask? Met a new guy and he keeps saying he wants to see me & I think our next meeting should be a date or am I wrong?

Next time he says be wants to see you, say"you should ask me on a date then."
If he's interested, he'll ask. He just needed to know he wasn't going to get rejected.
He doesn't ask, move on. You got enough "friends."

Boyfriend & I broke up exactly one week ago today. However, I do want to reach out to him to see if out relationship can be repaired. Is it too soon?

Nope. The sooner the better.

Should I feel a connection w/ my therapist? Today was my 1st visit and I just feel there was a disconnect and had to repeat myself a lot. She's a sweet old lady but I don't think she is the one.

Find another.

Dating/talking to new guy (NG) who we later found out knows one of my exes (OG). I let NG know that OG & I dated, didn't work out & I'd rather not discuss old relationship or OG. NG now brings up OG often in a roundabout way & I am getting tired of it. Not NGs business/nothing 2 do w/ us. Deuces?

Pretty much.
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Liked by: Cathy J.S.

Belle, what are the odds of finding a feminist man? or at least one who is open to learning? Over the last year I've become more aware and I'm noticing that so many guys I know, who I would previously considered good guys tend to have misogynist or patriarchal beliefs and it's really disappointing

Feminist men exist. They usually have daughters. Not impossible.
You'll probably have an easier time with a guy who respects women but has some issues he can improve on.
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Liked by: _ J.S.

Is it unladylike or thirsty to give a man (with "status") your phone number on social media? He followed me.

Start a conversation. Don't just throw your number out there.

"What’s the one book you think everyone should be required to read? The bible." KUDOS on this... I literally started applauding. There is so much you can learn about man-kind and life from that book. I tell people to read their bible like you would read your textbook or a novel. Thx for that

The reason I said that is actually because so much of American culture is based on what's in it (or not). Folks should know what it actually says.
Koran isn't a bad option either.
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Liked by: Cathy _ Briaan L. Barron

Do you have days when you feel really unmotivated to make all of the many different parts of your business work well? Did you ever have confidence crisis about getting to where you wanted? What advice do you have to help push yourself forward? Thanks so much for all you do D x

Yes.
Yes.
Fall down. Don't stay there. If you're just having a moment, feel it, set a time limit, then get yourself up and do what needs to be done.
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Liked by: denise jay Trishtn J.S.

Thank you for your input and being a listening ear . I thought I was doing the right tthing in your opinion was I wrong to handle it the way I did ain't men suppose to defend his woman's honor? Being that it will be a while before I get the chance to write I just want to again say thank you

There's what's culturally acceptable and what's legal. Culturally? Yeah. Legally? You were supposed to call the cops. A decent lawyer can get you probation if you don't have a previous record. If your ex, I assume, says she lied, you have a much better shot either way.
Take care if yourself, man. And keep us posted.
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Liked by: PynkElephant _

And I have access to his phone (his suggestion), he calls texts frequently when away from home.... he's doingeverything correct. Today I called a number I found in his phone and a lady answered. Which is why I am feeling extra insecure. I am scared to ask.

If you're bold enough to call numbers in his phone, be bold enough to ask what you want to know and deal with the consequences. Otherwise don't go down that dramatic road.
You called already, so call back and find out what you want to know instead of half-stepping.
Also, if she says "yes, I'm having sex with your husband." What are you going to do long-term wise." Think about that too. If you're going to stay as he cheats again, this whole thing is pretty pointless.
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Liked by: Cathy Markysha Cannon, MA Beautifully Complex

Yes, he is my husband. And to be honest, I'm feeling insecure because we haven't had sex a lot due to pain and just being pregnant with no libido. He's upset about this and I have tried to give him some but sometimes it feels empty. He hasn't mentioned it again.

Tell him that you're feeling insecure and tell him what you need from him not to feel this way. Him cheating (again) or even you thinking he is is a HUGE problem. You also don't trust him very much.
Also, are other types of sex an option since vaginal sex is painful?

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