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I plan on moving overseas and my boyfriend will still be in the States. We've discussed it and he's willing to stay together but a part of me feels selfish and that I should let him be "free" while I'm gone (one year). We've invested a lot of ourselves in one another so I don't want to lose him but

if you want him to be "free", then you will be "free" too. there's no sitting by while he does whatever, and you stay committed.
living overseas is an amazing experience and grows you fast, you may not want to be committed while you're there.
there's no "right" answer here. only what works for your relationship and respects the desires and wants of the people in it.
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Liked by: BassMonsterTiff

my bf Told me he loves me(..via text tho, not in person) in yr 1, but I wasn't there yet so couldn't reciprocate. After a rough patch during yr 2 he said he didn't feel as strongly as he did b4 (love) We worked thru the patch. nowin yr 3 he says he happy but still no mention of love. Time 2 move on?

what does he DO? saying it is cute, but does he act like he loves you? have you asked him what's up with saying it in year 3?
men are not women. in general, they don't express themselves verbally the way women tend to.
i can't tell you it's time to move on based on what he hasn't said.

Hi Belle! Thankyou for this forum/column! I''ve learned a lot here through my qns & other ppeople's qns. Lots of lessons learned! Happy Holidays Queen Belle from a faithful Belleionaire :-)

Happy holidays!

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Anonymous

Do you believe in giving a simple engagement ring then an up grade in 10 years? Some men do.

you don't have to wait 10 years. i'm not mad at the logic behind this. everyone does not have the $$ to ball out on an engagement ring, and it's not really practical to do if you don't have the available funds. starting a life with another person can be very expensive.
contrary to what diamond sellers tell you, the price/ size/clarity of the ring is not a reflection of his love.

How can you keep your relationship private without keeping your partner a secret?

you tell people you're in a relationship, but you keep the the details to yourself. and you keep him off social media.
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Liked by: Kearrea L. Sharpe Cathy

Found out my bf doesn't know if I'm "the one" which I was ok w/ we're happy. BUT he told 2 girls he used 2 f&@k while we dated n college he doesn't know if it's love either he's hpy. This bothers me b/c why would he share that? Why would they bring it up? Why does he still want 2 b w/ me?

"he used to f*** while we dated" << this wasn't your indication? (then again, maybe you were still in dating phase and not in a relationship. i hope this is the case)
he shared because he's keeping his options open.
they brought it up because they wanted to throw it in your face, and he gave them ammo too. (assuming they are telling the truth. and they likely are if two different people who may or may not know each other said the same thing that he said to you.)
he's with you because he likes you. he's just not thinking about being with you forever.
every relationship isn't forever. is that what you were looking for here? what do you want to do with this information?

There's this guy. He's sweet, treats me well but his breath and teeth aren't up to par..... I won't kiss him at all. He keeps wondering why we can't move forward and I don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not interested because of his grill. I want to bring up the subject, how?

Fixing his teeth is a big ask. Get over it or move on.
Give him gum or listerine strips for his breath.

Dating a guy for a nearly two months now. He's more action than talk. He is very openly affectionate, which I enjoy. I do enjoy hearing nice words sometimes, Is it ok to express this to him? To get him to tell me how he feels in addition to his actions?

Yes. Ask him

Hi Belle! Your last book was more for single ladies. Is DWYP for singletons or coupleton ladies will find it useful just as much? I'm reading either way :-)

singles, dating, couples, engaged, and marrieds, and girls and boys. everybody's covered!!!!!
sex, friendships, cohabitation, conflict resolution, communication, exes, FWB, IR dating, religion, etc. i'm tackling it all. ya'll asked for a hardcore advice book. you're getting an advice book. :-)
2
Liked by: Markysha Cannon, MA PynkElephant

Belle I just want to say thank you sooooo much. I'm 23 and you are SAVING me from foolery. My mom passed when I was younger and the women in my family don't always give the best advice. Just wanted to say I appreciate you. Happy Holidays :)

Aww. Wow.
Happy I can help. Happy holidays!!
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Liked by: _ Joey Kartarajai Singh

Is sex really so important? I am exclusive with dude, sex is quick and uninspiring. It is only those 10-15 minutes that are lackluster, every moment with him otherwise is a dream come true. This man might even be my future husband.

It's important to many. However, if you're fine with "quick and uninspiring" and so is he, so be it.

I'm talking to this guy and I feel I'm to "on him" he says I'm not, but I feel like I always make the iniative to see him, or hang out, or even call/text first. Should I fall back and let him step up?

Yep. You can't ever know if he's interested if you're doing all the work.
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Liked by: ~God Is A Cockhead~

I'm dating a guy and to be honest, I don't see why he hasn't cut me off yet. Im always effin up. I want to do better for myself AND make him happy, he's a good man. Is it okay to ask him what exactly I can do to make him feel he's being treated well?

Yes.

It amazes me double standards of cheating: friend cheated on wife both their families more or less were upset but shrugged, expected her to stay/forgive. She then cheated 2yrs later and everyone was screaming he should leave her. Why is a woman cheating more unforgivable?

Because we live in a patriarchy that's full of double standards.
2
Liked by: Kartarajai Singh

Do you recommend vision boards as well as to do list? I am creating a to do list foelr 2014 but wondering if vision board should accompany it. Heard great things about setting the intention and I'm trying to give it my best shot

I'm a big fan of vision boards. The more specific you get, the better.

My guy told me that if I was looking at his actions or trying to read into what he does or says then I'll be way off. Ummm, red flag? I'm ready to run! You meant to tell me I'm supposed to listen to the words you tell me? oh.

He's buggin.

Is it ok for a guy to take his female friend to pick out his girls engagement ring or should he ask one of her friends to help?

Either or. As long as the person has decent taste.

Entire family hates cousins new gf (she's a stripper & she's ghetto, uneducated, etc.) I don't like her either but during family court I was the one going: we're not dating her, he has to date her and if he likes her we will respect her. It's his life, his decisions. LOL thanks Belle!

:-) good job.

Congrads on engagement Im so jelly. What made you decide not to die alone?

lol. I never intended to "die alone". There's a vast array of options between married and dying alone.

Maybe a silly question but...making gifts for friend of pictures of her kids as newborns. I also wanted to use a picture of her and her husband as well but I don't have a picture of them together. Don't want an issue or ruin the surprise by asking. Im thinking of just her and her kids, is that ok?

No. Hubs is part of the family. It's not ok to exclude him. You can't get something off her FB page?

Wow - Really?? If the fiancé/fiancée wants their sibling in the wedding, it's basically non-negotiable? Even the sibling isn't close to the sig. other...why would that be the case?

It's their sibling- close or not- it's a sibling. Period.
Contrary to popular belief, it's the groom's day too. If he wants his sib to stand up with him on his wedding day, the sib is in.
I don't even have siblings but I recognize the extreme bond between people who share a parent or parents.
It's a war you don't need. You deny the sibling to be in the wedding, you're declaring war on groom and his family. Even if he's ok with the sib not being in, that sib's parent/s won't be happy. You're not just starting ish with the sib, but your in-laws too.

Not op but what if u aren't fond is fiancé sister? Say maybe she's close to his troublesome ex. Do you just grin and bear it?

It's his sister. Yes.

I am/was NOT fond of one of my boyfriend's exes. First met her last year at his friend's funeral and it helped me kinda mellow out about my negativity towards her (much of the it was unwarranted) and for a while I've wanted to reach out to her for some weird reason I can't identify. Should I?

No. What for?
You're way too invested in this ex. Why??

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