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Guy i used to smash..now we're friends. He asked if I was interested in joining his group for summr rental. He's got girlfriend now. Should I ask him if his girl is comfy with inviting an old f buddy to share house..or assume that they've discussed it.

Ask. You don't want her to make your trip miserable.
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Liked by: Kartarajai Singh

How can one prevent themselves from having an affair? Of course other than having good character

Don't put yourself on the path of temptation. And if you're unconvinced that you can be faithful, don't get into a relationship.

I visited my ex. He had a pic of me on his dresser next to a family photo of him and his dad. These are his only two photos. Is this a good thing or should I be worried?

Ask him why its there. There are several reasons it could be there.

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Anonymous

All this shade on ya page boo. let me send a lil light ur way. I've been following u for a month or so &I've learned Sooooo much. In fact ur page has bless me to the point where I had to share with my coworkers. now at lunch time we all gather round to read your advice for the day . You're the ish

Lol. Thanks, boo. *waves to co-workers*
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Liked by: Kartarajai Singh Slim Chica FA Unchinked Armor

A coworker is acting strange since I failed to invite her to my wedding. We are friendly but I elected to only invite 2 coworkers from the office more like friends.is this worth address or just wait until it blows over. It's very tense no idea what to say. Do I owe an explanation?

Speak up. Its "very tense" and thats bad for biz.

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago, but after the 1st month he began to call again. Our communication was better and we were able to talk more things out without getting on edge. Suddenly, he's started to go back to picking fights and not wanting to talk as often. Any guesses on the change?

There's an outside factor. Could be a woman, could be stress of job. Cant make an educated guess here.

I know u say don't give ultimatums but he's seriously about to be without a bestie or a wife.

I just answered you, ma. Woo-sah. Be easy and read my response. You can get through this one without leaving him or killing her.
The good part about her note is that they're both acknowledging (or have) that you are number one.

iPhone texts pop up on screen

Whew.
"I saw a text on your screen from XYZ. It said, ABC. What was that about?" (Let him explain). "I feel XYZ about it, and i'd like you to say ABC her. Will you do that for me?"
Get a date/time by which it should be done.
That said, he may be more harmless than it sounds. As a woman with a married male bestie, ish is weird sometimes. I respect his wife and boundaries of marriage, but I was used to him being more available to me. That i have to plan with him in advance and check clock before i call is necessary, but an adjustment nontheless

Just married. Husband has already indicated he always spends thanksgiving with god parents/female friends fam. Id rather spend together/host at home.I have no interest spending with his god fam/friends. Settle this pleae.

Whereever it's spent, you and hubs should be together. You can do it his way one holiday, yours for the other or some such. Compromise, but be together. Talk this one thru.

Fiancé has long time friend who she and her family has become his family. They are all going to Mexico in a few months and invited fiance and me. I am unable to go. Should he be able Togo solo??

That's not a good idea. Like family is not family unless you're officially adopted. No bueno.

Saw text from husbands girl bestie "I'm happy for you just sad that I'm no longer your number one."I'm steaming and want to bring this up. I'm pissed so when I call down how do I brig this up to him?

How did you see the text?

I noticed you like to ask people why they feel a certain way or what did your ex have that you feel like you can't find elsewhere etc which are all great questions. Is it possible there are no specific reasons as to why someone feels a certain way or that they can't find similar qualities elsewhere?

There's always a reason.
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Liked by: Nu-Nu

A big issue in my relationship is that I know he wants to get married one day. I'm insecure if he sees a future with me. We've been dating for three months and he isn't sure if he sees that yet. Should I leave or just let things flow and stop freaking out about it?

It's been three months. ONLY three months. JUST three months. How could he possibly now or even think of marriage??
Stop freaking out. You're gonna drive him away with this.

Is there something wrong with me enjoying the "grey area"?I enjoy the going out, the talking,might sex him eventually. I do not expect much from him and do not give much.

Nope. That's called dating.

Have u ever wanted to personally reach out to a comment here who maybe sounds very in trouble? I see sometimes u or others on twitter joke about the Insanity going on here and some qs are obvious ad funny to me as well but others sound desperately in need of help.

Yes. Unfortunately, everyone I ask to email, does not.
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Liked by: LT

Bf wants me to perform oral sex during her period this is nasty to me do guys actually do this or is she a freak ?

If you don't want to do it, don't.
I'm sure some men somewhere do it, bit the general consensus on this is "hell no"

Op: I never accused u of saying we had to agree. Mine was a genuine question. Unfortunately I knew that would happen. Thank u again good luck and good day.

And I didn't accuse you of saying so. Did you read my response? I stated facts and offered a very genuine answer.
I'm not sure what some of you expect, but if I am not providing it, PLEASE get the help you need elsewhere.
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Liked by: Kartarajai Singh

u often remind readers this is a free service. I truly appreciate you!. But does that mean we need to alway agree with you? I feel things are a two-way street. Someone could write in and say hey: I'm a fan, I buy your books or atten your events so show me some respect and u say this is free! Respect

At no point have I said that people need to always agree.
Your accusation is just not true. The "this is free" is the response to people who complain. If you don't like what you read, you are entirely welcome not to return. You have no financial investment. I've answered over 2200 questions. I've reminded folks this is free maybe 7x.
Most people don't even respond to messages from dissenters. I understand folks just want to be heard and I do respond on occasion. I often think that's not the best idea because of the perception you explain here. You ask, I respond. You comment, I respond, and THEN I'm accused of having a problem with people who don't agree. Huh? You do see how that could be frustrating, right?
Ask.FM is for Questions. It's not really for conversation or two-way street. That platform is called Twitter or FB. My blog is also a great place for it.
The comments here are often distracting from the very real questions from people seeking help.

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Liked by: Kartarajai Singh

How do you know if someone is bad with money before marrying them?beforehand finances are private matters right?

You can discuss when you're engaged.
But you should be able to see a pattern of spending while dating.
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Liked by: Nu-Nu

Why is it diff to believe someone doesn't want wedding pics on social media? I also felt this way while I didn't broadcast it to guests but everyone is not about sharing every second of life on social media. Your response was so rude suggesting she's ok with being obnoxious.Tellus how you reall feel

If you don't think many of your guests will find this obnoxious and this day in age, you're being naive.
I respect that she want to keep things private. Totally get it. But asking people not to tweet/IG/FB your very public wedding and like you are a celeb will be perceived as obnoxious in 2013. There's no way around it.
Unfortunate you don't like the answer, but that won't change how many people will feel about the request if she's not a public figure/ celebrity.

That's the issue- he will not go to a money management class and since I've already taken the class and am not the one with the poor spending habits-taking it again/alone is not going to resolve is your suggestion to ether divorce him or just Accept the bad spending?

You can try to teach him what you learned in the class, but I'm guessing you've tried that already.
It's unfortunate, and you don't like the options, but that's what you're left with. You can try a Hail Mary (aka ultimatum) where you tell him if he doesn't stop the spending/ debt you're out, but you actually have to leave if he doesn't change. Otherwise, you deal with it and compensate for the debt with your income/ take the hit to your credit OR you bounce and are only responsible for the debt he's accumulated this for.

Sorry let me clarify: dealing or leaving is not an option because we are married. The issue is money and spending and getting us into debt

Finance education classes for BOTH and/or financial therapy for BOTH.
Money is about money but it's also mostly about poor education about it and how spending it makes folks feel.

U suggest asking a lot vs telling or demanding. So what does one do when asking does not work? (Breaking up is not an option here and neither Is "just living with the situation)

What's the actual problem you're dealing with?
Demanding usually doesn't really get you far. People don't like being spoken to like kids.
If the person won't do it, they just won't until or if they are good and ready. You can't force people to do things. As much as folks hate to hear that, it's true. And you're left with dealing or leaving. Not ideal. But they are options.
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Liked by: Nu-Nu

When my wife gets really upset with meshe won't talk to me. Most recently I refused to it contact with a female coworker id prev dated and she stopped talking for a wek didn't cook or clean basically went on strike what can I do?

Y'all need a therapist to hash this one out. This gets uglier fast.
You give in when she does it, she does it every time she's unhappy.
You don't, she gets worse to make her point.
Communicating this way is NOT effective and practically begs the other person to eventually pack.

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