@abelleinbk

demetria lucas d'oyley

Ask me anything Follow
Ask @abelleinbk

Sort by:

LatestTop

Previous

So you don't think men value a women is educated and successful as well?

That's not what I said.
Again, it's "nice", but it's not the core. It's cherry and fudge, not ice cream or banana.
Know your audience. You'll get further selling nurturing and sweet and loyal than paid, degreed, and successful.

Why do so many women think beig educated and successful is a prize or even worth mentioning?

its a trait women look for in men and that women respect amongst each other. Women think their outlook applies to men as well. It doesn't.
Success and great job is nice and all, but it's not the core of what guys look for. We want security-- financial/physical/emotional. They want nurturing/support.
2
Liked by: ♌Tweety♌ FA

if things don't work out the first time w/ a guy and he comes back around later, do you ask his intent immediately or feel him out for a bit? broke it off b/c I wanted a commitment and he couldn't give me one at the time

Since the issue is commitment, ask immediately. No sense in wasting time.
2
Liked by: Maya Peace Kartarajai Singh

Related users

epistemicjustice
Gabby
Causeimdope’s Profile Photo Courtney
faith
Jones
SheSellsSeaChelle’s Profile Photo Michelle A
Ebony Winbush
D Dismore
Michelle Borum
Anonymous

I feel like I'm attracting the same type of guys and I'm worried about that. I want to start dating but I've gotten out of a horrible past relationship. I believe I'm over it, I just don't want to attract the same guys. What do you think I should do?

Figure out what all the guys you don't like have in common and identify how to determine if a guy has that trait upfront.
Need help: coachedbybelle at gmail for com (20% off thru Sept. 1 if you mention ask.fm in your email).

I noticed the last few guys I dated somewhere along the way compare the situation to my ex. that was not the best relationship but we had an amazing connection. I don't want to be with my exbut I appreciate r chemistry.is this behavior normal

You're not over your ex. Hence the comparisons.

Me and guy tried to date but weren't on the same page . We have kept in contact one day I asked him if he was interested in hanging out and he mentioned he was but he didn't think I wanted him to . Ok why didn't he just ask or did he really not want to ?

I don't know.
You know, men don't know it all. They get awkward and weird just like we do. And it's probably more weird as y'all tried to date and couldn't get on the same page.
Stop over thinking this. He's interested in hanging out. Figure out how to make a date happen and get past the fumbly phase.

I'm self-conscious because I have a big ass. My bf never misses a chance to remind me of this especially when we are undressed. He slaps me there all the time even though I say I don't like it. He say it just love taps baby and how much he like a woman with a big ass. I ask him to stop, but he won't

Ask him to stop again, and explain why it bothers you.
Also, you'll need to work on being more secure about this body part. It's not enough to say "I'm self-conscious" so everyone should deal forever with my insecurity about it how I see fit while I do nothing about it.
You're self conscious about it, and I respect your feelings, but do understand, most men like a big butt and consider it a bonus/pleasurable. what you hate, your bf loves, as he's said. he's getting something out of tapping you, but he's also on his own way trying to make you less insecure.
That said, you can set whatever boundaries you want with your own body. If BF doesn't stop and it bothers you that much, you'll need to figure out if he is someone you want to deal with further.

Gave guy friend a few compliment and he replied oh you do have a soft side told me he knows I'm nice but only sees the educated successful dont take no mess me .isn't first time I have heard this how can I work on softening my approach bc what I'm doing isn't working in dating and not be needy

Well the compliments are a good start.
I can't help you soften your approach without speaking to you.
If you'd like to sign to for coaching: coachedbybelle at gmail dot com (mention you're from Ask.fm. It's 20% off this til Sept. 1)

Guy I used to talk to but then said he wasn't ready for rel. is coming back around asking "hypothetical questions" like would u date a guy who is into cars , date a guy whose still in school etc. all things I know he is doing. Why doesn't he try to date me why ask random questions ?

Ask him that.
Also, seeing as how he old you before he didnt want a relationship, he may be sniffing you out to see if you're open to dating. Why the hypotheticals? Men don't like rejection anymore than women do.

You told the woman to "summarize that". But shouldn't we say what we want, to eliminate who doesn't want the same thing? From what she wrote, what do you suggest she have said to shorten that & get straight to the point?

Make it shorter. Two quick sentences will do.
You should totally say what you want, but it doesn't need to be a whole speech. It came off as a sell she didn't really believe if only because it seemed be trying too hard.

Guy I know tells me things after the fact like him getting back into school taking the gre , buying a big purchase , getting back into sports . I feel left out should I speak up and if so how or just let it go . I feel like I share a lot with him but he always seems so guarded.

Speak up. That he doesn't share big news with you says ALOT about your friendship. "Hey, I've noticed XYZ.... Why is that?"

Morning. Everyone of my exes are married or engaged (even the recent ex) : ( what does that say about me.

That you've dated men who want to get married. You're picking men who commit, now you need to figure out how to get them to commit to you.
Need help: coachedbybelle at gmail dot com
1
Liked by: ♌Tweety♌

Hi Belle. I know Kanye is one of your fav artists, what did you think of his interview? I thought he seemed genuine and actually happy. 1st time I heard him speak w/o being angry or trying to prove something. Maybe we really do sound diff when we're happy, what's your perspective?

What he said? Normal.
How he said it? Not. At least for him. He can sound happy and at peace without removing all the bass from his voice.
1
Liked by: Ene

Hey. Have you ever had that season in your 20s where you don't want to be around anyone and your friendship suffer because you never want to go out? Did your friends stick around or disappear. I can't shake this reclusive feeling and my friends are disappearing.

That's not a 20s thing. It's a life thing.
Totally went thru it. The random friends bailed. The genuine ones were annoyed but didn't go anywhere.
2
Liked by: Cathy Kartarajai Singh

A male friend who is married texts me way too much, although we are just friends he requires too much of my time. Like where's your wife? I was out with friends last night and ignored all his calls. He called me obsessively 5x and texted me (no joke) 9. He does this with others. What's his deal?

Ask him.

Is it lazy if a guy will take me where I want to go, but I have to give him the specifics (ie resty name, broadway show details, festival/event dates)? I feel like I do ALL of the planning and he just has to show up and (sometimes) pay.

He should plans sometimes as well. Tell him that.
He could be lazy or he could not know what to so. If you plan, he knows you'll like it, which is the goals. It's not always lazy.

Hi Belle. A guy I went out with recently accidentally called me his ex's name while at dinner. He was really apologetic. Honest mistake or something deeper?

Can't tell based on this.

I got a job offer in NYC that I couldn't refuse. Few days after accepting the job, my bf of 9mons started acting very distant. I confronted him and he ended breaking up with me cuz "he doesn't do long distance". I think if he loves me he should be willing to give it a try. should distance be a issue

Doesn't matter what it should be. Matters what it is.
BF doesn't want to do distance, and if there was no hesitation about accepting the job and he wasn't a factor in what to do, he feels he's not that important to you.
If he's not down to do distance, there's nothing you can do about it unfortunately.

I've been dating a guy for the last 8 months. Things are great but he still has a pic of him and his ex together in a pic on his fb page. I never let it bother me, thought he will remove it when we got more serious but still hasn't. It's been bothering me lately, should I tell him about it?

His main pic? A fresh pic? I see the problem.
But a pic in an old album on his page? Or he's tagged in an old pic that shows up?
Social media isn't going anywhere. We MUST stop expecting people to scrub clean their profiles like they had no life before us.
Additionally, he's not your man. You've been dating, and that's sweet, but you don't have leverage on this one. And if you had to go to the archives to find it, you'll sound nuts asking.

Engagement party protocol: gift or no gift? The invitation doesn't specify.

Not mandatory, especially if you're attending wedding.
General rule: whenever you're in doubt about taking a gift, take champagne or wine (assuming they partake). No one's ever NOT appreciated a bottle. It's nice enough for the couple to appreciate of they were quietly expecting something and a small enough gesture not to show up other people who came empty-handed.

Guy asks what Im looking 4 & I say: I want 2b married 1 day, but not rushing anything. When Gods time right I will meet the right guy, become friends, date & eventually marry. For now things are 1 day @ a time. Chilling & having a good is what life's about. Is my response to forward?

Too long. Summarize that.

I've just finished the chapter DATING CODE OF HONOR in your book. My ? is should you let your friend know in advance (after a reasonable time has passed) that you want to talk to it pursue they're ex/jumpoff

Yes.

So I have a makeup trial with someone I just met. I asked for photos during our consultation and she said she lost her cell which had recent pics. She sent me an invoice today for services which includes trial and day. Is it rude to insist I see pics before even doing the trial? It's not a cheap pkg

Not rude. Basic biz practice.

BF has a child. He was never dating the BM, it was a hookup situation several yrs ago. Now he walks on eggshells in regards to their relationship to avoid potential backlash w/ child support. Buys her cards, she sends pics for his compliments etc... seems a bit much?

Yes.

bf & I broke up he admits 2 being childish not 2 me of course. he threatened to call cops on me 4 wanting 2 talk & turning his chair around so i left. was i wrong? he wont speak 2 me ignores calls, texts & any form of communication. i never wanted out. never been treated like this b4 what am i to do

Stop calling him. Other than that? Do nothing. Start the process of moving on. You don't need this drama.
Him telling other people he was wrong doesn't matter since he's not telling you AND still ignoring you.
He threatened to call the cops on you and turned his back on you. I get how this could be confusing (assuming this isnt his regular behavior) and you want to know what happened for him to so that. But as someone who's been crapped on by a guy seemingly out the blue, stop calling and just let it go. He did you a favor by breaking up with you. If you insist on sticking around, it gets worse, not better, and you don't ever get a reasonable explanation, or better treatment.
He showed you who he is and what he's capable of. Believe him.
2
Liked by: Unchinked Armor Kartarajai Singh

Next

Language: English

4.1

1,266,418 reviews
© Ask.fm 2024