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Im consitering suicide its just life is always aginst me i feel likr my back.is against the wall all the.time and i just want to take the cowards way out im broken amd beaten on the.inside and dont.know.how to escape it i just want to die and i feel like i cant take it anymore

We love you! And above all else, God loves you and values your life SO much. He's put something unique inside of you, something that no one else in the world has! It'd be a huge loss to the world to lose that. You are child of God, a product of His very self, and so, you are destined for greatness because God lives in you. You need to know that. But you also need to know that greatness does not come without challenges and obstacles. The enemy wants to destroy everything that is of God, including you - he wants your life when he knows you belong to God. You will feel like your back is against the wall, but this is why we fight the good fight of faith. It is a fight with a purpose bigger than ourselves. You are not a coward and your feelings and emotions do not have the last say. The only way for the enemy to destroy you is from the inside out. But God can heal you inside, He can take your brokenness and make you whole again. Many of us have been in your shoes, when you just feel like you want to go away, leave it all behind, what's the point... You may not feel like it now, or be able to see it, but this will pass. You have to make a decision, not relying on your feelings, to keep fighting - in spite of how it feels. The bible promises us that if we keep our mind stayed on Jesus, He will keep us in perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3). This peace doesn't mean that everything will go right, it just means that no matter what happens, if we believe and love God, we'll be happy with whatever happens, however it happens, because it doesn't determine our joy.

How do you escape? The bible tells us that we have to arrest every thought (that is contrary to God and His ways) and bring them under obedience to Christ. Understand that you are at war in your mind and your inner man. The only way to counter and defeat anti-God thoughts and with Godly thoughts. Get some worship music for your room or MP3 player, listen to it, let it set the atmosphere and cry out to God, tell Him your thoughts, talk (pray) to Him every day. Read your Word daily, and throughout the day, not just with any scriptures, but scriptures that speak to the thoughts and issues you are having in that moment. You have to fight this with the Word - you're at war. Anoint your head and your room for peace, and ask God to dwell there and in you. Find someone or 2 that you trust to confide in who will pray for you and walk with you through this. Remember, isolation is the enemy's turf. If he can isolate from the body Christ, he can pick you like a predator chasing prey. Surround yourself with Godly influences and people that will hold you up and speak life over you. Stay away from negative things that will feed negative voices and feelings (bad music, movies, people, etc). What you feed gets stronger.

If you want to talk further or want prayer, email us at weAre@ChoZenTeens.org. Please get an adult involved as well so that you can get the proper care you need. We're praying for you!

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How would you describe your style?

We ChoZen. 4 LIFE!!!

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What do you do when you've been cheated on and all u have done is be a good boyfriend?

You ask God to heal your heart so that you can continue to be a good and better boyfriend in the future. Don't hold onto this and allow it to make you bitter. Some people are only in your life for season and that's ok. Be very prayerful about who you choose to date, so that you can avoid the girls who don't have your best interest at heart. God knows who's best for us and that based on more than just how fine she is.

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I need to get over my ex! he has moved on but for some reason I can't and I don't know why but like I been praying so hard and it seems like everything has been getting worst by the minute! I do I let this go please help!!!

Although sometimes we say what we want on the outside, what we're really saying or wanting on the inside is far different. This can render our prayers ineffective when we're really secretly hoping for something on the inside that doesn't line up with what God wants, despite what we say and how we act outwardly. God sees our heart and always knows our true intention and motive. To move on first starts with really, really, wanting to move on, inwardly as well as outwardly—to want it more than you still want to be with that person. Philippians 3:12-14 reminds us that in order to move forward, we can't keep looking back, reminiscing over what was. Your mind has to have a picture of the future or it will continue to repeat the past. Envision yourself moving on, enjoying your life, and really embracing this next season and all that it has for you. Ask God in your prayers to help you to let go of what once was and to deliver you from any part of yourself that's still holding on, secretly, knowingly and unknowingly. Ask for the strength and courage to release it, to forgive, and a new mind to focus forward.

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why do parents fall short of their priorities once their children reach a certain age to adult hood? ages such as: 16-19 or almost 20 years old. why do parents stop doing what needs to be done for child(ren) at thus upcoming age of adulthood? why do they stop seeing things through?

It depends on what you consider their priorities to be, in terms of what needs to be done and what the needs are. Legally speaking, parents are only responsible for you until 18 years of age. Beyond that age, it's not unreasonable for parents to expect their children to assume some responsibility in the way of paying for their own expenses, food, clothes, and shelter. It's their job to teach their children how to live a responsible life and how to stand on their own throughout adulthood. This may be the preparation for that. Certain things that they did before because they wanted to or needed to, don't always apply as you get older. It really depends exactly on what the need and priority is—your original question didn't say. However with that said, the care and love of a parent has no age limit and they should always want to be a part of your walk and guidance, even through adulthood. Sometimes they don't and there are varying reasons for that. Perhaps it's a form of tough love, perhaps they're tired themselves. Maybe they even have issues of their own that are now taking center stage as they may feel like they've fulfilled their responsibilities with you. The reasons differ with every situation. You be prayerful about understanding why, and willing to see it from their side too. A respectful conversation how you really feel is always good place to start.

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what does it mean to be in a relationship? what does it mean when one person has more free-will than the other person that he/she is in a relationship with......in addition to doing more than the other?

Unfortunately today, a "relationship" can take on so many definitions and forms. To be in a "committed" relationship means that you have singly committed to be with one person, and only one person. That you have also committed your relational love and affection, so to speak, to them and no one else. When one person has more free will or "does more" in the relationship than the other, the 2 are not walking together in agreement. In other words, they're acting and living opposite to the goal of being in relationship with someone—which is to be in harmony. Relationships, like boats, must be balanced in order to stay afloat, each person doing their part, carrying their share, and making more deposits of love, affection, time, care, etc. than they're withdrawing. When one person of the relationship takes more than they give in the relationship, it becomes unbalanced and ultimately sinks or falls apart. They are self-centered, only thinking of themselves first and foremost. Relationships however, are about putting others first (including friendships). If they're not willing to do that, they're not ready for a relationship.

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he feels that his efforts 2 his blessings are in vain due 2 the obvious that I'm receiving the blessings he's working hard for,it's said repeatedly that God is not done with him yet & that he has 2 be consistent 2 giving his Time.Talent.&Treasure, I've fed him Gods word but I don't know what to do

All you can do is give people what God says and lead as God leads you. Most people don't understand that efforts don't necessarily bring about blessings. God is so much more interested in changing our hearts than our circumstances. The blessings are just a plus. Keep pushing him to be faithful and consistent, but ultimately, it's his decision to make.

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My ex and I broke up awhile ago but I can't seem to get over him. I can't even delete the messages in my phone because I don't want to delete all of the memories. What should I do to get over him?

You will never get over him if you're constantly reminding yourself of your past with him. To move forward, you must look forward, not backwards (Philippians 3:13). You have to allow yourself time to process, heal, pray and re-assess your life and priorities — without him in the picture at all. It's not realistic to say that your memories of him will just magically disappear, but you become what you focus upon. And as you begin to put away those message and memories and focus on Jesus, and your new life, you'll find that it will be easier to let go of him. You'll still remember, but the memories won't dominate your feelings and thoughts every day — that's the freedom that you want. It will be hard at first because relationships require so much investment of ourselves into a person. And when they're gone, there's a void. That void is even worse when we've allowed that person to occupy space in our time and hearts that belongs to God. You have to fill the void with God if you want it to be filled. Practically, you should cut all contact with him and remove pictures and things that stir up past memories and feelings. DELETE the messages in your phone because they are your past, not your future. And if you allow them to stay, you'll continue to read them and continually find comfort in the past and you won't be able to move forward in deliverance. Surround yourself with Godly people that can walk with you, have good fun, make new memories and help you be accountable during this weak period. Fill the void with God through prayer, fasting, worship, reading, physical/mental activities that better you and fellowship with Godly brothers and sisters that you can trust. When you let go of your ex, you're available for your next!

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Something that I am afraid of is failing…basically being something or becoming somebody that I don't want to be and that God don't want me to be and I be doubting myself because every time I try I always end up in the same place.

Failure by many perspectives is missing the goal that you set out for. So it goes that failure is largely defined by your perspective and especially in this case, what is God's perspective of failure and success for your life specifically? Not just the big picture and the end goal, but what are His perspectives about success for the steps along the way in your life? God cares just as much about the process as the end goal. Many times failure does not take into account what God is showing us and what we're learning along the way. Failure is often a platform to stand upon for where God is taking us next and more importantly, what He's doing in us. There is a saying that says there is no failure, you just keep repeating the lesson until you learn it. What are the lessons that you're learning? Look really hard at each one, each time you fell... When God is your goal, and your heart is set on pleasing Him first, and doing right second, failing by falling into in a place where He doesn't want you to be is just a non-issue — it becomes second nature and you'll do the right things. If you're always ending up in the same place, look around you and take a close look at your influences. What are you consuming and practicing that keeps leaving you defeated? Be honest with yourself and ask (pray) God to help you see what you've been missing. Ask Him to show you and keep trying. God honors diligence.

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Is twerking a sin

Does it attract or push away God? Does it attract or push others to or away from God? Above all else, does it honor God, in this case, with your body? Any form of dancing that stirs up sinful desires, in ourselves or in others is considered a sin. When the bible mentions dancing, it refers to dancing in praise to God (Psalm 149:3). Likewise, in all things we should honor God and dancing is no different. Dancing is meant to be fun and enjoyed but never to the point that it dishonors God by dishonoring your temple (body).

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what does it mean to be a good girlfriend

To be a good girlfriend means to first, be a good friend. It's said that "love is a choice, based on a commitment to the other person that naturally grows out of a healthy friendship." Cultivating a great friendship first and continually thereafter is important to the relationship's success. Being a good girlfriend also means being committed and supportive in every way that you can be that's healthy and appropriate for this stage of your relationship. As with any relationship, understanding and setting healthy expectations for you and them is also important for the relationship's success. Being a great listener, communicator and supporter (affirmation) are also great characteristics of a good girlfriend. Being a good girlfriend above all else means keeping God first in that relationship so that it has balance. When God is first in our life, it sets the order for everything else to follow. God wants us to enjoy healthy relationships that honor Him and bring us happiness too. So it goes that keeping Him first, praying for our relationships, praying for our mate and decisions that follow will help us to be the best boyfriend/girlfriend.

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I find myself making the wrong decisions or putting myself in situations that aren't good for me even when I try to do right. What should I do?

It's good that you recognize that there is problem and more importantly, that you have a heart to do what's right. The first step to overcoming is to recognize what needs to be dealt with and then be willing to do it - you're in a good place. Romans 7 and 8 speak exactly about your situation. Make sure you read them; the message translation explains it very well. He says here that, "I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions." And before this Paul says, "So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary." Romans 8 goes on to talk about living life in God's spirit.

These 2 chapters talk about the inherit sinful nature that competes against the spirit of God in us. It's an inward struggle (the sin in us vs. the God in us) that Paul writes about in Romans. And he says that God's direction becomes necessary for navigating those struggles - it takes the leading of His Spirit. When we're doing things God's way and walking by His leading, there is no such thing as wrong decisions or ending up in situations that we shouldn't. It's only when we stray from God, ignore His voice or just decide to do things our way that we make bad decisions. Discipline helps, but discipline is only as good knowing the "right" things to do. Discipline all dependent on your will. Being led by God's spirit is surrendering your will to His, even though you still have the choice to decide to do right or do wrong. The larger part of this is spiritual and you need to begin to battle this in prayer. Invite God's spirit in your heart and mind, asking Him daily in prayer to lead you and show you what situations are good and what ones aren't. Remember also that you can't be led by God without reading His Word and fasting (at some point), these are things that will help you to hear His voice, so that you can be lead in making the right decisions and avoiding the situations that cause you to go wrong. The question then becomes, once God's voice becomes clear and you can recognize His leading, are you/will you be willing to follow and obey Him? Even if the decision is hard, unpopular or uncomfortable? Your next prayer needs to be for strength and a hunger to do His will and put down your own.

Keep striving to do the right things but strive harder to hear God's voice and be willing to follow what He tells you at all costs. God will never led you into a wrong decision or situation, but you have to hear, follow and obey Him at His leading. He wants to lead you, not let you fall away. You're almost there, keep pressing in. Remember to read Romans 7 and 8 (message translation).

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Do you take the chance of dating someone who has been known to cheat or do you pass

Many people have made the poor decision to cheat as well as other mistakes that can be damaging to a relationship. It doesn't mean that they'll always be that way, but... You need to prayerfully look at this situation and ask if this person has made sincere efforts to turn away from that kind of lifestyle. If so, it's worth giving them a chance, after you've prayed about it. If they have not changed and continue to be a playboy or playgirl, leave them alone relationally.

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what does it mean to be willing to be saved

Willing to be saved means to be willing to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior, believing that He died for your sins, and that you can experience freedom in this life and share eternity with Him when you leave this life. If that's something you'd like to do, let us know and we can walk you through that! Email: weAre@ChoZenTeens.org

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Is it okay to meet up with ur ex that u have feelings for to talk when u have a boyfriend ?

This is not a good idea, especially considering that you still have feelings for your ex. The bible tells us in cases of temptation to "flee" (run away) from it (such as in 1st Corinthians 6:18). Because you're vulnerable, you have to be careful not to put yourself in a potentially tempting situation that could lead you to compromise against God, yourself or your new relationship. Our "feelings" cannot always be trusted and worse yet, they can open you up to being taken advantage of when you're vulnerable and still recovering. If you have to communicate with him for whatever reason, do so by phone, text or email during the day, not at night. Make sure you stand your ground about the boundaries of conversation for this meet up. If the relationship is really over, there is nothing wrong with being friends, but be careful to avoid flirting and discussion that might lead to something else or opening up past hurts.

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How do you know when you are dating a good guy? I've been talking to someone since April and everyone is saying he's gay because he hasn't tried to have sex with me. But we have been on like 20 dates (movies, dinner,etc.). I think he just respects women. Thoughts?

The "ultimate" goal of dating (or courting) should be to find your future wife or husband one day with the one you love, and not just a fling. In today's world, our motives are often selfish and not God-centered, and so we get into relationships and do things in relationships for all of the wrong reasons (like peer pressure). Because the goal of dating is ultimately to marry, the bible gives some relationship principles based on marriage, but that are also applicable during the dating phase. This is a chance to see what kind of husband (and man) he will be ultimately, by seeing what kind of boyfriend he is now. Some relationship principles and privileges like sex are strictly reserved for marriage and do not apply to dating. But one way is to look at what the bible says about how a husband should treat his wife. Although you are not his wife yet, many of these same principles (but not all) apply and are things to look for. The bible says that a good guy should "honor" his woman (1st Peter 3:7). Does he honor you and treat you with respect? There are some things he is not required to do, as you are not married, but he should always honor, care, respect and lift you up, his family and others. Does he spend time with you, love on you and give you priority (with respect to his family)? Does he go out of his way to make you feel special? Does he appreciate the time you spend together? How does he treat other people or people that can do nothing for him? Most importantly, does he have a relationship with Christ and does he honor Him? These are some things to look for in a good guy! And if these qualities check out good, don't worry about what his haters say about him.

You should feel good that he hasn't pressured you to have sex and you shouldn't see this as being strange like a lot of people do today. This could be an example of him honoring you, by respecting your relationship with Christ and your purity. Good guys get talked about a lot because they don't follow the norm of having more than one girl or trying to smash as many as they can. You should be an encouragement to him for respecting you, in spite of what people say about him. If you have doubts about his motives, or you feel something isn't right about what you are looking for in a good guy, have a honest discussion with him to share your heart. Good relationships are built on good communication!

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When a girl says i like you as a friend what does that mean?

This means that she's not interested being in a relationship with you beyond just being friends. She may not feel the same way about you or is not attracted to you in the same way as you are to her. If possible, agree to disagree and appreciate the friendship that you share. If you do, be careful to respect the boundaries of that friendship.

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why is sex only okay in marriage?

The bible says that we are married to Christ, and like we have a covenant with Christ, there must be a covenant before you have sex. When you have sex, you are exposed to emotional/spiritual exchanges like depression, anger, lust, greed, etc. These are the issues you cannot see or will not see while engaging in sex. Soul ties are very real and may not expire when you end the relationship (outside of marriage). The bible does not say not to have sex so we that can be unhappy and unfulfilled, but because God wants to protect us from the things that can harm us (soul ties). Sex was designed for marriage (covenant), and sex outside of marriage will always result in damaging effects.

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About ChoZen Teens:

The ChoZen Teens of Second Ebenezer Church is a unique group of teens who pride themselves on being different. We love God!

Detroit, MI