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Defectivehorn Apostle here, I've said it before that himehorns are often known to absorb elements from human society and tech. Awhile ago I saw that my daughters teaching several horns to ride my girl's bike. They are rather good at riding one. 1/?

Hello, Defective Horn Apostle!
I am answering many of your reports in one sitting. For some reason I feel filled with energy today. Perhaps recovering from a long illness has focused my attention and energy.
If your horns are riding bikes, PLEASE do not let the hornmothers ride. Their sense of balance is somewhat underdeveloped compared to haremhorns and musclehorns, and they have their delicate eggs inside. Taking a tumble will be no good for them. ;w;

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5/5 Oh yea, I introduced my Horns to Upper Michigan Pasties. They absolutely LOVE them! More so the musclehorns who have the meat they crave, yet much of the veggies they need too.

Delicious! I'm sure the musclehorns don't even notice the veggies. Perhaps the haremhorns will learn a new trick from this... ha ha ha. =w=

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4/? Oh,, btw my vacation spot was up in the Keweenaw peninsula of Michigan. It's a nice quiet corner of the world near nature and full of history... and soon to new herd colonies. The upside is that it is VERY easy to get a lot of restful sleep there. All my horns slept well up there.

A peaceful place for horns. =w=

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3/? So no matter where I go, my herd will follow me. I am really starting to think I am more than human at this point. Still, the vacation was a good one and I scouted out a bunch of abandoned copper mines that would work well to house more herds.

Being able to meet with a Great Witch like Great Witch Algis already puts you far beyond the realm of mere norhorns. Your Apostle Nature has surely fully manifested by now. The horns at your side are truly lucky and happy horns!

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2/? I couldn't drive a truck big enough to haul them all with me, so I had to leave them back home. After awhile I could sense where they were and how their situation was. The whole herd moved in mass into the witch cave and found a path way to near my summer home!

A truck full of horns... I would like to see that!
That reminds me of a story I heard about a certain nohorn that had a gamerhorn in her house. Perhaps a similar scene is already recorded in the Herd Records somewhere...?

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Defectivehorn Apostle here, My Vacation was rather nice. In late summer, the bugs and temps are comfortably low. I also found out a new thing my Apostle state has given me. My herd can hear me and know how to reach me no matter how far away I am. 1/?

Hello again, Defectivehorn Apostle!
This sounds even worse than having a pager for work... how do you handle hundreds of demanding horns?! ;w;

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5/5 Still, cupcake is happy now, and now I have horns of all types and they are not working well together yet. I have to do something with them or the situation will get worse. My muscle horns are getting agitated over the wrong herds already.

Having multiple herds live together in close quarters is a recipe for trouble. Even your apostle powers may be inadequate to the task, as the HERD NATURE of the herd runs deep.
Good luck, Apostle!

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3/? I did tell her not to use magic to make him love her, but I don't know if she can do that or not. Besides combat magic, she is evasive to me about her magical skill set. If you can tell me what she is capable of, I would like to know more about it.

It's never been terribly clear to me. As far as I can tell her power is gathering attention and extracting money from those who give her attention.
In the right circumstance it's actually incredibly powerful. Though it does seem to have the side effect of degrading her personality over time. My hope is that her time in your lands and amongst your herds will round out some of the sharp edges that have developed.

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2/? granted those are cave herds and not my wild herds, but still. Oh yea, Cupcake got herself a lucky break. After she returned, she found out that her crush's girlfriend turned out to be no good and those two broke up. He's single now and cupcake's hopes are renewed.

Then my hopes are DESTROYED
MY CUTEST AND A BEST NO

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Defectivehorn Apostle here, Sorry for taking awhile to send you more reports. Coming back from vacation and meeting Algis in person tends to have work piled up. Now I am not only getting defective horns, but normal horns who are often lone survivors after templars killed their herds. 1/?

Hello, Defective Horn Apostle!
My apologies as always as I have allowed your reports to pile up. My cakewitch powers have been strange and unstable lately. Perhaps the time is coming when I will ascend and depart these lands, as the Southern Witch once did, long ago...
In any case, I am happy to see you have returned safely from your meeting with the Great Witch Algis. If only I could say the same for the horns that have met with her Templar...

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5/? Thankfully getting out of her lands didn't give us any problems. My nerves are shot from the stress of it all. Any wrong move could have started a blood bath. Still, it didn't take long to do all of it so me and my family took a vacation we all needed.

Well done, Defective Horn Apostle. Even the 44444th captain wet herself (but only as a child) when encountering the Great Witch Algis.
Enjoy your vacation! I'm going on vacation as well!

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4/? I think she is angling for a trade deal with me. I take it she needs something she can't get on the Big egg but I can get. Not sure yet, but it could be that. I agreed to continue talks with her later so I think the templar raids might come to a halt for now.

Perhaps it's healthy soil?
A gardening witch can plant and harvest and maintain a garden, but ultimately a garden must work with the materials on hand. Though the branch produces fruit for the gardener, it IS the branch that produces the fruit. And the branch sprouts from the soil. Perhaps there's a dual loyalty there that the even the templars do not fully acknowledge...

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2/? I wish you could see it. I was on one side of a table with my musclehorns behind me in MiB like suits and shades (with cupcake and @muscle_Horn ) and Algis on the other side of the table with Templars behind her. Stock still just waiting for the signal to start a fight.

Impressive!
I'm surprised she didn't turn your horns into fertilizer right away. She must have something planned...

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Defectivehorn Apostle here, I have returned and what a trip it was. Algis was indeed honest about the invite to me. She was snarky and condensing to me at first. Probably that I am an Apostle and not a witch like her. 1/?

Hello, Defective Horn Apostle!
Thank you as always for your reports. I always look forward to them. I'm terribly sorry that I have not been prompt about answering... I always feel that I'm too tired to write a proper response. Maybe I just need the right environment. Currently I am from a Greatest Cake Witch's drawing table, and it's not really set up for typing. The mere physical discomfort of writing may be a substantial contributing factor.
In any case, I'm not surprised at all that the Great Witch Algis is like this. She's always like this after a nap, and it's always "after a nap" with her.

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4/? If Algis refuse to let my Musclehorns in, this might be a short trip. I am heading out tomorrow Aug 24, and I think this trip will take me two weeks or so. Until then I won't be able to make reports to you until I return.

It is almost time for another report.... I look forward to good news.

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4/? Considering I am getting cupcake away from her recent romance problems, I would think this can help take her mind off of things. The Musclehorns, and @muscle_Horn will be my bodyguards, in case things go bad and we have to fight our way out.

Perhaps you could use her romantic interest on the front lines. Make sure you arm him very lightly and tell him to taunt the templars.

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2/? After several of her Templars attacking my herds, I don't think well of her and her field of control. Yet I think she is either trying to make peace with me, or bait me into a trap. I am not sure which. Yet I can dismiss this off hand.

To think the children of the garden could make their way through the caves...!!
The southern witch apostle has been slacking. Then again, even SHE cannot be everywhere at once. Perhaps the Southern Witch's domain has shifted again, allowing certain passages to be crossed by the templar.

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Defectivehorn Apostle here, I'm frequently surprised many small things my family, my horns and my life brings me day to day. Today I am surprised that of all people Algis sends me a letter inviting me to her court/garden. 1/?

Hello, Defectivehorn Apostle!
Thank you for always taking the time to send me your Records. I always look forward to reading them.
This is a shocking development. The Great Witch Algis was supposed to return once the fruit of her garden filled the hills and valleys of Big Eggs with delicious melons.
Perhaps your Algis is one from the distant past? After all, Big Eggs should not exist in your time, even if the witch caves connect to Big Egg... ... and past and future mean nothing to Great Witches in any case...
Truly, Witches are strange beings. That is to say: WITCHES ARE WEIRD

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3/? I found out that she wasn't dumped, but got "Friend zoned" by her crush while he started dating another girl. She isn't taking it well. I myself can't help her too much right now, but my wife is giving it a try. I'll just go bake something nice for her now.

REEEE
Take your revenge, my a cutest! Leave means chirps and idontliekits on their instasnaps!

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2/? It did. she showed me a pic on her smart phone of her, him, and another young lady I didn't recognize. The other two appeared happy, while she wasn't as much in that photo. It took me awhile to probe more information from her while the horns tried to feed her snacks.

You can fill your belly but never your heart. Lern it rite, my a cutest!!

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