Dan Kim

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What about illegitimate pastry granddaughters?? Are they legit?

Those ovens aren't ready to cake a cake yet, anon! Please stop! ;~;

If we want to make darkcake feel cheered up what can we do?

It's okay, anon. When Darkcake feels down she just picks herself up and does her work anyway! She doesn't whine and cry and wait for others to help her. Whatever happens, she just gets on with it-- like a real cake!

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How is it going Dan? This is the mother of Teacake. Don't you remember the one day you asked me to prepare the oven to 350? I'm the mother who said you are wonderful awesome person for knowing Haunting Grounds. Just letting you know Teacake is fine, but she wants to see you Dan.

oh god
Not again!
Look, just don't call the house. In fact, don't contact me again! BEEP BEEP YOU REACHED A WRONG NUMBER PLEASE PLEASE B A CAEK AND GO AWAY BEEP BOOP

Congratulations! You're the first post that comes up under the google search "fleshanoid"! How does that make you feel?

Liked by: Tryph Magical Minty

Dan, I'm starting to learn how to bake some pastries, partially because I think it's cool, partially because of you. No, really. I hope that one day my cakes and breads will have a spot in your heart, not those from Mr. Brad McFrat Hugehands' bakery that you live on top of.

Good luck with the pastries, anon!
When your cakes are delicious, please don't hesitate to mail them directly into my mouth.
I'll be waiting!

I'm sure Sakura will take it just fine. After all, you've accepted pancake even though she's not your dau... wait, what do you meant he doesn't know about that? Uh, nevermind. Forget I said anything.


Darkcake is an outcast, but is a very good girl, Cupcake is doted on and is a little shit. I think this tells us all we need to know about you and Sakura's parenting abilities. I think we're going to need to take Pancake into care before you ruin her too.

It's my fault more than Sakura's. She was off at her office job working all day and I left Cupcake to be raised by the internet while I drew cartoon butts at home... what a mistake...I am a bad dad...
Liked by: Hebiko (蛇子)

So why is Darkcake outcast from your family? It's obvious you respect her more than Cupcake.

Darkcake would break Sakura's heart. She can never learn the truth.

Do Darkcaek's teachers at least understand what a good girl she is ;~;?

Darkcake thinks it's wrong to get along with your teachers. They might treat you favourably and that's not fair! You should be graded on your work alone!

I have a very lively thing here in my pants I'd love to offer Algis... Half of a living thing after the musclehorn incident, but it's still very much alive!

She wants melons, anon -- not baby carrots!

I like to imagine darkcake's mouth gets meltier the more nervous she gets, so when other kids make fun of her it gets hard for her to even talk.

And she needs to bring a box of tissues to wipe up after herself in class. ;~;

...Wait. You actually live ABOVE a bakery? Do they know?! Aren't pastry predators like you suppose to register with the government and stay 500 yards away from places where fresh, hot, cooked-this-morning baked goods are made everyday?

Kukuku...! I ate a raisin danish this very morning, anon! Those tiny raisin were a true delight...
There are monsters like me lurking on every corner... Don't leave your cakes unattendedt, anon! Kukuku~!

Do Cupcake, Pancake, and Darkcake ever do like 'sister day out' days? Do the two even know about Darkcake? Does she ever get invited to family get togethers?

Cupcake knows about Darkcake and knows the truth. They hang out together whenever Cupcake has something she wants from Darkcake (money, cake, attention, a scapegoat, etc.)
Pancake has seen Darkcake but doesn't know the truth about their relationship.

Is apple cake the most hipster of the cakes?

I dunno. Rainbow cake has this "I'm such a nerd I watch sherlock and play with legos and have the scott pilgrim boxed set =3= muu" feeling to it. Is that hipster?
"Gourmet" donuts (like bacon chocolate or whatever) feel like something dreamed up on a Wednesday morning by two tattooed guys wearing tight-fitting pullovers in a vinyl record store.
I am very judgemental.

Hey Dan, what'll it take for you to let me... adopt Darkcake and Pancake? I don't care about the old busted one, but those two are too good for you.

Hey Dan whatll it take for you to let me adopt Darkcake and Pancake I dont care

Does Darkcake ever get made fun of because her skin smells like frosting?

She does. The kids at school make fun of her for her heart-shaped pupils and melty-mouth, too.

That looks less like vomit and more like a giant, sweaty penis. I'd be gagging if I tried to give that head, but I thought Darkcake would be used to it by now.

That looks less like vomit and more like a giant sweaty penis Id be gagging if I
Liked by: Leedah

I've heard that Darkcake is a great student! She aced her biology practical on the reproductive system just last week!

Ive heard that Darkcake is a great student She aced her biology practical on the


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