Can sexual preference= transphobia? Im a cis woman, almost exclusively attracted to AFAB ppl (incl women + NB ppl) So Im attracted to women, but since Im generally not attracted to AMAB bodies, this cld mean that I wouldnt be attracted to transwomen. (1/2)

q cont: "I see transwomen as women (which they are!) however I cant help having a sexual preference which favours + excludes certain different types of bodies. Therefore, is it transphobic to say 'I can be attracted to cis-women but generally not transwomen' ? (2/2)"

Firstly: you're assuming you know what a trans woman's body will look like. You assume you know what body parts she may or may not have. You need to have a serious think about why this is.

What is it about "AMAB bodies" that you aren't attracted to? Not all amab or afab people have the same bodies. There exist so many variations in people's physical characteristics that lumping bodies into those two categories is obsolete anyway. To assume that all amab or afab people will have certain characteristics, rather than just defining the characteristics you're attracted to, is kind of a weird way to go about it. It's inherently cissexist, transphobic, and buys into the concept of an infallible sex binary that just doesn't exist.

(Also: "cis women" with a space, but "transwomen" without one - why? "Trans" is an adjective just like "cis" is.)

I'm going to take a not-too-far leap and assume you're talking about being attracted, or not attracted, to certain genitalia. If so, examine your thought processes. When you see someone presenting feminine, does your mind immediately jump to what genitals they have before you consider whether or not you find them attractive? Or do you simply presume, based on other physical characteristics (what might be termed 'secondary sex characteristics')? If the latter, that's a cissexist presumption. Sure, we all do it. But we need to make sure we think twice.

Wanting to engage in certain sex acts, or interact with certain body parts, is a preference of sexual behaviour. It's not the same as attraction. If you met a cis woman who didn't want anyone to interact with her vagina, but loved anal sex, and you weren't into that, would you define yourself as not attracted to cis women because of that? You’re allowed to have preferences about what sex acts you want to indulge in and which ones you don’t, but don't conflate that with attraction.

Also: I'm sure you personally aren't violently transmisogynistic, but the same things that lead you to ask these questions are the things that lead to trans women's deaths. This sexuality related disgust is shared by men who treat trans women (especially trans women of colour) as sex objects. This disgust is by far the most common cause of their brutal murders.

I feel like you asked this question to be reassured that you're not transphobic/transmisogynistic. I'm not going to do that here. We /all/ are. We can't be uncritical about our assumptions and attractions. We all need to deconstruct the societal cissexism we've internalised.

Think about people, not bodies. Don't generalise physical characteristics to groups of people. And thanks for asking this question and being open to interrogating your own sexuality.

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CUSU LGBT+ Trans Campaign.

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