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Did you die?

Katy
If I Ever Become a Magical Girl:
1. I will find out if there is a less revealing
transformation sequence.
2. In the same vein, I will discover if there are other
clothing options besides a mini-skirt, as those tend to be
drafty.
3. I will invest in a good pair of sneakers, so as to
reduce the possibility of a twisted ankle due to my
boots/high heels/sandals.
4. If I see anything even remotely resembling tentacles on
the monster I'm fighting, I will immediately remove myself
from its striking range, and resort to large firearms.
5. If I have any attack sequence of more than two words and
single gesture, I will work to shorten that. If I cannot, I
will begin using alternate methods of attacking, such as
really big guns.
6. If the villain has a sudden change of heart, I will
immediately take him to an anonymous hotel room and watch
over him. Either he's faking it and will attempt to betray
me, at which point I will kill him; or he's serious, at
which point his former colleagues will attempt to kill him.
In either case, I will be certain to pump him for
information.
7. If my magical sidekick has a nasty habit of forgetting
important information until it's too late to act upon, I
will insist upon some kind of memory classes.
8. If I have a protector who swoops in, interrupts my fight
with the monster just for a motivational speech, and then
leaves me without helping in any other way, I will dump him
and look for a protector that will fight at my side.
9. No matter how ridiculous the villain may seem, I will
give him/her/it my full respect until proven otherwise.
10. Attacking from behind is NOT the act of a coward. It's
the act of a magical girl who wishes to minimize fights.
11. If an ally speaks only in riddles, I will give him/her
the chance to speak clearly. If he or she refuses, I will
find new allies.
12. If an ally claims to know the future, I will tell him
or her to quick speaking nonsense, and quote Yoda if I have
to.

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Language: English