for me, discovering my sexuality was a very long, drawn-out process. some people know from a very early age and some people have to get married and have kids before they realize. looking back on my childhood, there were signs, but at the time i didn't pay much attention to them because there was all this other stuff going on in my life that made sexuality in general very dark and grim and evil. it wasn't until i was in middle school that i got my first girlfriend, so i started identifying as bisexual at 13. there was a lot of pressure from both sides. i was very aware of the lgbt community and was a hardcore activist for gay rights even at age 10, so homosexuality wasn't ever something that i was sheltered from or put against. anyway, when i reached high school, i dated both boys and girls and i made a lot of really bad decisions. then, last year, i started a relationship with one of my best friends, a boy, who i trusted and loved very much as a brother and confidant. it became very apparent very early on, however, that it wasn't what i wanted. i was past puberty. there were no hormones involved, i wasn't sexually charged, there wasn't any confusion. i was an adult and as an adult it became 100% clear to me that i was not and never would be sexually attracted to him. and that's when i knew.
View more