Ask @downmansayman:

Yo

Baxter Truth
Damn, its been months since an entry. How you fuckerz doing? Seriously, I've been on here since late 2017 and just now I'm starting to get followers, crazy? Lol I never thought any of my shit was going to get read, but here you fuckerz are. Anyways, whats been going on with me? Same old same old. Still looking for that special someone and guess what!? I found her! She smells like roses, is fun to cuddle and listens to me as we sleep at night! Shes my bed. It's my bed. Lmao so yeah, in short I gave up on dating. Honestly, too many girls ignoring, unmatching and just ghosting me for nothing. Legit had a girl the other week with so much potential. She was cute, lived in my city and shared the same pessimistic behavior. Though she unmatched me months prior and forgotten who the hell I was, I still gave it a chance as I am very lonely man. Lol anyways, we bonded on tinder, were both looking for a relationship and went to snapchat where we joked every other day until I said "Hey, we should hang out!" To where she responded "DEFINTELY!" I overzealous and thought about how things were finally going right for me. But then she continued right after with "BTW I'm exclusive to someone right now..im dating someone else. Hope that won;t be a problem" Then I blocked her, ghosted her. The end. that felt good. bitch. Anyways, after that its just been terrible. With what ever hope I had left I swiped until I matched with a couple of potential girl. Could I say finally, at last? I could! Turns out, two unmatched me after 4 days and the other spoke with me for sometime than changed her bio and left me on reserved. Yeah, finally, after that I deleted this piece of shit app! lmao I'm sad now but better. It hurts thinking about that I might not find someone for a very long time or hell if ever. I'm hitting my 30s real soon, and I'm reclusive. These dating apps are pretty much all I had, so it feels like my love life is finally over and I got the bad ending. Cant restart this one. But, as pessimistic as I'm becoming, It feels better than putting my whole name and image up for these toxic ass bitches to laugh at. Honestly, I'd rather be lonely for the rest of my life than throw my self at loves filthy, cold hearted feet ever again. All that misery, chaining you down. Hurts to be alone, but I'm finally free at last. I guess that's all I want now. I don't want to fall in love again, but rather fall out of it. Too much pain. Anyways, thats whats been up with me. NGL I still see couples and pretty girls and silently wish it was me or hope well find eachother grabbing the same nutella jar late one night. Lol peace

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Don't Settle

Baxter Truth
Hey, how's it going, Ask? So, recently I've been doing my thing, you know, getting constantly rejected and all, typical. Anyways, the third batch of women are starting to come in from Tinder. Lol Yes, I know, that's how I've been labeling the girls I match with. Every two weeks I'll get on Tinder and mass swipe through about 1,500 hundred girl NO JOKE (Sad life, I know) But, afterwards, I'll sit and reap the rewards. So the women that come after the mass swipe is what I call a batch. This is going on my 4th or 3rd, can't exactly remember. Anyways, through out the 2,500 girls I swiped through in the past 3 months, I've gotten more than a handful of matches. Some where pretty, some I wasn't attracted to and some who lead me on or ignored me. Truth be, yeah, I haven't met one who was interested in being my gf, but If I learned anything it's that I shouldn't throw all my eggs into one basket just because I'm desperate. What I mean is keep searching until you find that girl that doesn't make you wonder if it'll work out. Search for that girl where you don't have to think about if you'd fuck her or not, or feel like if you're just desperate. I've been super liked by two beautiful girls in the past month. True, one replied and never spoke to me again, and the other is still sitting in my messages, but they were both good, well at least the second one because I already stalked out her insta LOL She's honestly wify material, and she super liked me!? So here I am, struggling to get a number from a 4 I'm not even interested in while an 8 is super liking me lol What I'm trying to say, fellas, is don't settle and don't give up hope. There is honestly the perfect person for you who'll match each others preference exact! True, it's hard finding her but there are women out there! Hell, Charles manson had a wife. Hell, Jefferey Dahmer still has GF's, can you believe that shit? Lol But don't settle my dudes, keep being you because you don't have to change a damn thing. I'm off being my self and this gal is interested in me!? There's no fate controlling your life, or who'll you'll end up with. That's on you.

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More Bullshit

Baxter Truth
Been away for sometime, but yeah, about a week ago, Jessi just upped and blocked me from snapchat. I'm not entirely sure if she blocked my number or not cuz I called and it rang twice, but I did leave her a mouth full of my emotions on this shit. Either way, she hasn't responded. Last time she did this she at least gave me a warning. This time, not so much. fucking whoree. She talked all that mess about missing me and feeling upset when she didn't get to speak to me and everything. Lol where the hoe at now? I think shes been cheating on her husband or something idk and I'm thinking she was trying to keep it lowkey or sum shit. Anyways, fuk the hoe, classless bitch. Today I matched with a new girl who actually super liked me! We have a lot in common and she's hot! Lol she's looking for something serious and she seems perfect. i messeged her and she replied with not much to go off. I'm a little upset cuz I sent a lot and she didn't have much to say. I mean, she did super match me on tinder. Her bio says shes looking for something serious and is tired of tinder not offering that. SHE DID SUPER LIKE ME. I swear if she ghosts me, unmatch me im done. I already had a couple of other girls the past two weeks ignore me. This one. No she seems like a real match. I'm going to be upset if the same happens with her. Honestly, I think all hope is lost when a girl super matches you, has everything in common to start and still doesn't want you. I should probably give up after that tho

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Roller Coaster

Baxter Truth
So, the past two days have been sort of depressing. I've been sensing Jessi has been becoming distant. Now, my mind tells me it's probably some other guy, or she's gotten over me; Hell, it's probably her husband. Maybe she loves the dude and she's just a whore. But I mean, is he honestly okay with that? Today she's been pretty silent and I asked her why. She told me it was 'His' birthday (an obvious sign that she can't admit in saying her husnband) Anyways, She sent me a nude this morning, so I guessed all was okay between us, but nothing will ever be okay between us. This was never work out. I don't know what she thinks is going on, but she wants more than FWB, she want a romance while she stays with her husband and it doesn't make sense. I'm starting to get upset because I honestly don't think they are actually much of anything anymore. Hence why they are open. Please, couples who are in a open relationship are doomed to fail and so I've been holding on because their separation is inevitable, but after today's shinanigans, it looks as though he'll let her get away with anything and so she'll run him dry. But everyone has a limit and he'll get there eventually. other than that, I started speaking to that Sally girl again. I was trying to have to see if she wanted to talk but she said she rather watch a movie. tbh, I'm a little bit salty as I thought we were having a hilarious conversation but evidently she doesn't want to make time for me when this is the only time we get. Besides, bitch made it clear to me she's just looking for friends, yet she found me on a dating app, where she's been swiping left on guys she doesn't find attractive. That doesn't sound like friend selection, that sounds like possible dating material in the future. So you tell me who's really in denial. Justg fed up with all this bull shit. I finally meet a couple of girls who are into me, yet a real connection isn't there. Not one. I honestly am starting to give up lol I give it about one more mass swiping and if nothing, I'm done, man. This is frustrating. But I'm still not over Ashley. Right when they disappear, she comes back.

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Idiot

Baxter Truth
So, I'm guessing Jessi is going to stop bothering me. I replied to her last night, then nothing. I sent her two cute love bitmojis this morning and nothing. She sent me two photos of her dog but they were also on her story so...Yeah, well, here it is. I knew this day was coming. I'm assuming she found someone else. I see her snapchat score go up every so often so she's snapping someone else, bet. But I mean, what did I expect? We aren't dating, so of course she's fucking around with someone else. Knew I was going to get hurt. I mean, it doesn't sting as bad but what hurts the most is just how hard it was to find someone who I matched with. But then, the shit part was she's married for starters. So, that's pathetic in itself really. Shows how desperate and gullible I am. Psh, the other candidates aren't into me and my only real options are Nancy, and Kristin. I like Kristin, but she doesn't seem all into me. We don't have a lot in common as it would seem and our styles are completely opposite. But she's really open minded and so am I, so I assume that's why we get on. I think she's cute but I'm not REALLY attracted to her like Jessi or Nancy. She's adorable. She seems self preserved and has a cute outlook on life and I really like that because it reminds me of me. On the other hand, I really like Nancy. She's gorgeous! Nerdy, and gets my sense of sarcasm and comedy. However, she doesn't speak to me. I don't think she's all that interested in me either, but that's who's left. There are two gals on my Tinder who are cute af but they probably are staying on tinder. Anyways, It just hurts because now I'm back, lonely thoughts and all and I'm starting to think about how just unwanted I am. Honestly, Ashley was supposedly madly in love with me, but it was lie. And now, Jessi admitted in being obsessed with me and I guess that's over. I really, really liked her, but that's life. That's my romantic luck, I guess. I'm just sad. These feelings have me not wanting to do anything. I wanted to get back outside today and jog, but now all I want to do is sit by the window and smoke a cigarette.

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18 to 4

Baxter Truth
Well, just got done sorting out through my tinder matches. Unmatched more than few as they weren't going to respond and plus, most of them where a lot more unattractive than they seemed (found some of their facbooks) Anyways, it's been about 4 days since Jessi and I have been hitting it off. Tbh, I said she would be the one to start catching feelings first, but slowly I'm starting to as well. It feels weird to finally say I have feelings developing for someone else other than Ashley, but that's the truth. Their coming naturally and I'm afraid. I understand that Jessi is married but I still feel as if it's turning into something different. I'm worried that in a month, she'll move on from all of this and either stay with her BF or find someone else. Tbh, I'm already starting to feel that way because she hasn't said goodnight nor good morning to me in two days. I feel like she's sexting and speaking to someone else. And yes, that's starting to bother me. I'm worried she'll dump me and then I'll be left here to rot and think about Ashley and how another girl who was into me didn't even want me. It hurts. So from now on I have to stay silent and only speak if she's willing because that's all this is. It's not a relationship, were just FWB. But at the same time, I worry that she also needs me to push back when she isn't. Like, that might be the turning factor into why and when she devotes to me completely. But, chances are she may be serious. This is probably nothing more than summer love. I need to keep my head on straight and understand that

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The Right Match

Baxter Truth
So, In all, I've matched with about 20 woman in the past two weeks. A couple of them I don't really want anything to do with, and the rest are all attractive; leaving about 5 who dating material, with 2 of them already in my snapchat but the others aren't speaking to me. Plus, I've been unmatched by a few cute girls. Anyways, That's my average. So far, there has been three cute girls I really want a relationship with. One of them is still on Tinder, hasn't replied to me in a week, though we had a few conversations. The other is Jessi and the one I really fancy is named is Nancy. She's beautiful. Open minded, and just looks like bae material to me. However, she doesn't seem that all into me. She will ignore me sometimes, and hasn't exactly given me enough to work with, but I feel like she's just hard to get. But that's probably not the case. I even asked her this morning if she was interested in me and she said "Lol Yes. Why?" But after that, it sure as hell doesn't feel like it. Anyways, Looks like I'm still on the search for the right match. It's like, I get so close but no dice. God, Jessi was so close, but she's in denial. Anyways, I matched with this cute girl today. We went to snapchat and I got her number. TBH, it doesn't look like we have a lot in common by her taste in shows, movies and life style, but for reason, she's still talking to me. She's really sweet and innocent because her fukn snap score was 17! Lol She's looking for a BF. I mean, i don't mind, but I'm not entirely sure if we'll get on and she may just be desperate idk but she's definitely a keeper, just i dont if we're for eachother.

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Hypocrite

Baxter Truth
So..What can I say. The past few days Jesse and I have been speaking, sexting, flirting and doing pretty much all the couple shit without actually being a couple. So, how is she feeling now that she seem's more into me? The exact same. I gave that bitch a dose of reality after she kept asking me was wrong because naturally, I started getting jealous. And yet again, she hit back with "but I'm married.." So in short, despite everything we've been going through, she means just fuk buddies. That includes fukn over her stupid ass husband. I was trying to let her know the truth, but then she was like "Sorry, I won't bother you anymore." She blocked me, unfriended me on Snapchat and made a big deal about unmatching her on Tinder. Stupif fuckkn cunt. The worst part is, I put my self into this shit because it turns out, getting nudes from a girl who doesn't want anything else but FWB is a lot better than being completely alone and still stuck on your ex. I made fool out of myself and I told her if we could still continue talking through one of my other SC accounts. She spoke to me through text but things may not be the same because, like I said, I git her with that truth..but anyways, I'm more salty over the fact that she didn't send me enough nudes like she said she was gunna. Because frankly, fuk it. If she wants a fuk buddie, then that's what she's going to get. No more emotionally invested conversations, no more intimate affection, if it can give me back those nudes and more, I'm done with her. I'm tired of my heart getting broken and I'm tired of feeling like this, but it's hard. I just need anything and anyone to get me through Ashley. Fuck it, she wants to be a whore and cuck stupid ass husband is completely blind, than so be it.

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THOughTs

Baxter Truth
So you remember that Jessi girlI was talking to? Well, I keep continue to talk to her Lol At first, I was like, nah, we don't want the same things. But now, It's clear that we don't want the same things. Through out the day she's been snapping me. It all started when I uploaded a photo because I was feeling myself, then she commented heart eyes on it. Naturally, I was thrilled because it's been so long since an attractive girl genuinely complimented me. So I bit, and we started flirting back and fourth. Then she was telling me that she was dying her and she wanted to show me. So she sent a vid..topless. Twas nice, but then she wanted to rant about something and so she called me. Pretty much, she explained how she was planning on seeing some dude on Sunday and how he was starting to frustrate her. She went about screen shoting his photo's and he freaked out, then he ignored her and than she explained how it was too much trouble dealing with some ugly dude..than she tried to justify that she wasn't a slut just because she sent him nudes he screenshoted..but that's exactly what she is. She's not the girl I'm looking for. She's not the girl my heart needs right now. I don't listen to my dick, I listen to my better judgment and it tells me that this girl is a mess. I shouldn't be involved with women like this, but yet, here I am. Why? I assume it's the attention. I thought about the possibility that perhaps she likes me a lot more than she wants to tell me and perhaps I have real relationship potential. But bluntly, the girls pretty much a whore and I need to open my eyes. I didn't win out this time, no. I was drawn in by attention and I'm not giving it out anymore. Though we a re sharing the same loneliness, we don't share the same morals. It's toxic for me and I need to see that. No matter how attractive she is, or how lonely I am, I don't need this in my life. It's a lonely road a head of me, but I'd rather that than live this bull shit. Peace.

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Not Changing

Baxter Truth
So Ashley texted me out of the blue today talking about a haunted place in SL. SecondLife is pretty much a game where a bunch of jobless adults who hit rock bottom go to escape their everyday shit lives, and so, thus, spawned Ashley. Now, I've been following her main account (Some trashy persona she developed) and today she invited me to hang out with her newly developed one. I asked about her main account and she didn't want me to have it cuz she was "starting all over"(Hence: My second one is filled with all the guys I fuck around with and is really slutty and I don't want you to know about it) Anyways, I was stoked when she texted as It meant she genuinely thought of me, but the truth is, she's still not talking to me. So I'm convinced she was bored and wanted to fuk around with an ex, or was very lonely and wanted to share something with someone with similar interest (Me) Either way, I don't think she means nothing more than boredom or loneliness. After everything we've been through, I can't believe she'd think I could stand next to all of this and condone it like a friend. That's what hurts the most. And she's still not being honest. I asked why she keeps the other one? And she responded "because I put a lot of money in this one and time" All she had to say was she flirts and is for finding guys and I would've completely understood. But no, that's not Ashley. For what ever reason she chooses to keep me in the dark about everything. Always has and always will.

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Once Again

Baxter Truth
Matched with two gorgeous girls earlier. Now, that makes my tally up to, like, 4 girls I've matched with the past week who've been more than attractive to me. Anyways, they are both HOT, and yes, they are real, I checked (Level 100 Stalker here) LOL
But, yet again, they've yet to respond. Knowing my statistics with pretty girls, they are either going to unmatch me by the morning or never speak to me. Anyways, I don't have my hopes up because they both can do better than me. I'm not being a negative person, but it's probably true. These girls honestly have a ton of guys to chose through, why me? My personality doesn't seem to win over anything to be honest. But hey, I will admit that I'm still speaking to Jessi (the married girl) NGL she's hot, too, but married. I'm looking for a relationship while she's looking to cuck out her hubby. She want a FWB and I'm not gunna lie, I feel my self slipping into that. I'm lonely. I want some kind of affection and she gives it to me

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Spoke to soon

Baxter Truth
Turns out, the girl I was really into actually isn't really into me. It's been a whole day and she didn't text me. I figure she was just lonely and needed someone to talk to. I deleted her number. Next was a girl I met last night. She was cute, weird and only a mile away. She unmatched me this morning. As for the Jesica girl? Still hasn't responded. I matched with another cute girl today! She's hot! But she hasn't responded to me, so I'm guessing she'll unmatch me by the morning. As for Jessi? She ruined things by talking about her 'hubby' We're nothing more than friends. There was also some cute fat chick I matched with and spoke to but she doesn't exactly seem interested in me. We talked for an instance, but that was all. Looks like the same shit for me. No luck. I'm seriously starting to think about Ashley again, and I don't want to. This was suppose to work out. One of these girls should of liked me more than friends. But I guess not. Turns out, the best match for me for the rest of my life didn't even want me. What makes these girls different. Ashley was really into me, and these girls cant even respond. No one wants me. I need to accept that now.

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The Right Place

Baxter Truth
So, after about a week of mass swiping on tinder (That's where I swipe right on every girl for as long as I can) I finally got some suitable matches! There's this one girl, who's cute and we hit it off well! Got her number and we've been texting for two days now. Shit load in common, and everything! However, there's always a down side. Yesterday, I found out she's still on about her Ex. She was upset when he didn't wish her happy birthday. I consolidated her and said everything will be fine. Since, things have been okay, but I can't help but feel she ins't that in to me. Plus, I don't know what her body yet loos like. That's always scary. Next, I matched with a cute girl named Jesica! She's perfect! Well, physically at least. I spoke to her once and she's only responded once. Things don't look very great, but she hasn't deleted me yet, so maybe there's still hope. And just today I matched with another cute girl! Everything seems okay and I even have her snapchat! Tho it was posted throughout her bio included with "I'm in an open relationship" warning. She's really cute, but she could just be sleazy. I don't yet, because usually, when a girl says she's in an open relationship it tends to mean two things. One, my boy friend can't satisfy me like I want and I'm looking for the next best thing to branch off to, but until then he's a package deal until you convince me otherwise. Or Two, Shit's difficult right now, we aren't dating but we live together so there's that and we are both looking to move on. Now, you see, I can understand that, however, not the first. Also, did I mention Jesica and this girl both have like, 7 kids together? JFC, that's a lot to deal with, but I mean, what other options do I really have? As long as we get on and there isn't baby daddy issues, I couldn't care less. I'm really hoping things work out with the first girl I'm speaking to because she's kidless, my age and great. I'm just hoping I like what I see.

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Do you agree that what's bad for your heart is good for your art?

Actually, yes..sadly, yes. Depression, heart break, all have been an inspiration to open my eyes towards a shallower world. My writings, drawing are all a testament towards loss. Anyways, I finally matched with three cute girls in the past two days! I messaged all three of them and only one responded. True, she may not be the first one I wanted to chose Lol but I do think she's cute and we are getting along perfectly! But still, one of the other girl was gorgeous but she got two kids that are like, 12. Anyways, we are actually bonding and things look good, mane. Now, the only problem is she lives about 206mls away! But still, it's a nice change for once! I finally have been answered! Even if we just speak on the phone that's good enough for me. However, I haven't seen her full body and I'm hoping she's not unfuckable! No offence, but just saying. Hell, when I first met Ashley, I didn't like her body until we met, but I actually do think Ashley is prettier..but than again, I wasn't real attracted to her at first. Anyways, I'm going to take this and go with it. I hope for the best and yes, I'm finally glad to have met someone to get my mind off Ashley!

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Another One

Baxter Truth
So once again I've been rejected by another fat bitch. The other week I got a like on Tinder and so I scoped the selection out swipe, by swipe because it's not often I get a like (Yes, the photos for your potential match is quite blurry, but you have no idea what a desperate man is able to decipher when he's lonely) So we match and I give it about two hours, nothing. Then I hit her with a "Hello, what's up!? :)" Generic, boring, I know, but who cares? Anything works if she's into you. (TBH I was not into her at first site. Just, not my type, but she seemed cool and I felt hat maybe if I stop being picky, I'll actually find a good girl. So I swiped on this gelatinous, 5'9 too tall for me bronie) Anyway, it didn't take her long to respond with "nm hbu?" to where I replied "Nothing much, just watching a movie and having dinner." Then things went silent. Skip a head three days and I replied to her again, to where I got another short answer. And again, skip a head about a week from there and I asked about her day. No response. Said Hey two days later, still no response. So then today I saw she uploaded a new photo (indicating she's still very much active) but didn't respond to me. I mean, I don't need no clearer sign to see she's obviously ignoring me. So I unmatched the chubby food chaser immediately. Same shit happened with another fat bitch before her. Seriously,the other bitch looked like a behemoth, but she unmatched me from nothing..smh This just comes to show you fellas that personality doesn't matter. You can be obese and evidently still picky. Ugly on the outside and ugly on the inside. Wow. Like, honestly, what men are they matching with men to deny me? Doubt they matching at all, but I still get rejected. Some advice for you followers out there. Don't settle. Fuck these fat bitches and their fat issues. Waste your time on girls you actually fancy and never lower your standards because there is trash down here as well.

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It's Labour Day! Are you going to do some work or relax today?

WTF? Is it, tho? Na, I'll relax once these picky, superficial women start learning their lesson and play fucking fair. JFC, so I matched with a girl just last night. She was cute NOT HOT. Top heavy, skinny, skinny legs. No ass and a bit chubby. She had had nice boobs tho, but who cares if that's all you got going for you sexually? Anyways, she fit my league exactly. Confident enough to take selfies, but insecure enough to let everyone know she has appearance issues. She was reserved, shy and weird. And she lives in my neighborhood! It seemed like fate calling, though she preferred to have put the phone on hold, it seems. So, It took me about an hour to think of and confidently open up with an intro. I mean, I really liked this one. I finally thought I had a break. Then I sent it to only realize that it would't make much sense as it was pertaining to her bio..She changed it after I sent it..coincidence? I don't know. So I went to sleep, walking up every now and then to see if she'd replied. Nothing. When I finally awoke, I went through her profile and low and behold, she changed it yet again too "yatta-yatta, etc. IF you're looking to hook up just be honest about it." Bleh, typical. looks as though her true intentions where seeping out. First off, I'm not on tinder for hook ups or any other sort of falsely guilty implication. Second, I'm not on tinder to be an option or back up. It was evidence enough that she was either keeping on wait, or seriously couldn't be bothered to message me back. I was already dealing with the same issues with another match. I put out a long, hilarious intro pertaining to her bio as she said "don't bother with just hey, or any other variant of the word" and so I didn't. I was unique and tried to be funny, yet here I am 6 days later..no reply. I know she's been on because she matched and then rejected my fake profile. Lol so what's going on...? Ah, I think I think I see it now. Could it be that they are searching for something better, while keeping me as back up? Lol bitches. I'm sorry, but you fuckers can tell me It's my attitude, or it's shit like the fake profile as to why I'm getting rejected but absolutely not. It's shit like that is why I'm seeing the truth. Girls are just as shitty. What's the difference? Pretending to be someone else, or pretending to anything else to not speak to you. At least I have the decency to not get involved with anything, or anyone, yet I'm here, excited for an opportunity and for what? Just to be put on reserved until who knows how long. I don't feel because they don't. I know not every women is like this, but damn, I'm fed up. Its hard enough for me to get a match. I'm just sick of these girls playing games with me. You think the next is going to be something special and them some will just pull the rug on ya. So forgive me for taking action. Forgive me for protecting my self in searching for the truth.But we don't have to trample over each other searching for the same thing.

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What I like least in a person is…

The ability to see past an age difference? Naw, jk. I bring it up because I've been lusting over one of my friends. You guys remember the friend from Twitter? Yeah, her Insta posts are getting damn good to where they are giving me a boner. Seriously, she's fucking absolutely attractive and I can't stand it. I know we are friends, and I know that it would be completely against the friend code to hit on her or show her any sign that I'm into her. Especially when she hasn't hinted any of the sort. Anyways, I understand the boundaries, but JFC, I can't keep lying to my self and others that I don't secretly undress her with my eyes or imagine sex scenarios cuz I do. Don't get me wrong, I don't and have never brought something like that up to her. This is a secret I will hold to my grave if I must and I shall always respect her as a friend first but ffs, I have thoughts. It's difficult because my feelings range from having a nice, hilarious back and fourth chat about out misfortunes and weekly battles to wanting to lie her face first onto her bed next to an open window on a cool rainy afternoon as I slam my cock in and out of her while the sweet music of ass slapping and bed squeaking echo over the drops of rain and sweet moans as she crosses her arms beneath a smile while I unload a toe curling, body buckling, soul releasing bucket of cum inside of her vagina. Then we cuddle ♥

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What’s the last thing you criticized?

Probably my shitty ex. I'm honestly so exhausted with explaining everything about us but the other day I finally found out she was seeing other people. Stupid ass actually had a public open diary. Like, TF? Dumb ass. She claims how private and ashamed she is about certain past events, and behavior, yet here she is publicly documenting every time she makes out with a guy. It's a fucking shame thought it took now to realize that I was always messing with a toxic bitch, but she didn't have to promise the things she did. I've been through so much with her, including her daughter. That little girl loved me and I felt the same. She swept the fucking rug from beneath both of us and has demonstrated how selfish, reckless and self destructive she can be. I see now that she has not grown up one bit since her teen years. Despite all the problems we've gone through, I was always learning, and trying to improve our flaws for us. so where was she? Well, exactly where she is now as has always been. I despise her so much for giving that little girl and I a promising future and snatching it away. We are the only one's who are hurt.

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"Game of Thrones" or "The Walking Dead"?

Neither, fuk you, ask. Anyways, I'm so fuking frustrated right now. I can not seem to match with any girls I'M into for any dating app I have. Seriously, I have Tinder, Match, Bumble, OkayCupid, meetme, Hot or Not, Clover..nothing. Quite honestly, it's rather sad that the odds have been beat lol The last girl I matched with and considered a relationship was with Ashley, but she wants nothing to do with me anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, but I have matched with a couple of girls that sort of get on with me, like these two girls from Bumble. Honestly, I find one of them kinda attractive but we've nothing hugely in common and she doesn't speak to me often, rarely if any. The second girl I've already hung out with, but I'm in no way attractive to her. Now, I know I shouldn't be picky, but I have had girls in the past I was happy in dating and I just don't get the same feelings with this girl :/ I'm still stuck on Ashey tbh and I desperately want to meet a girl I fancy for once. I'm starting to believe that I'll never find a girl I'm both physically and emotionally attracted to. FFS!!? Its been two years with dating apps!? Is it honestly this difficult to find something that simple? I mean, I'm not a picky guy, if I think you're pretty and we get on, that's it! Why the fuk is it becoming this hard, mane? I have dated women in the past that I was both physically and emotionally attracted to. I'm not that bad looking tbh, Im avarage or just a tad bit over. Maybe its my height? FFS tho, I need someone to get me through this fucking year. I want love man

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How do you usually express your emotions?

It's tough to say, really. There are so many moments in our lives when we experience anger, depression or happiness. We all have different ways of expressing our selves. Some write songs, others write letters and the one's with out anything to show shout and talk for hours with friends, to strangers or even to them selves. For me, depression, and heart break reach hit me the hardest......BUTT there's isn't nothing like a good old nostalgic, frustration fap 8)
Yup. Sadly, pathetically, masturbation does me the best results :'D When Hollie left me I sat there day in and day out, yanking it to the thought of getting that baby making on hahah. Strangely, it seemed to calm me down. It really helped me get over all the painful boners I had for her, imaging her having sex with another man. Unfortunately, this doesn't always seem the be the best method for moving on, as I my gf and I tend to do the same thing. 'Make up Sex' is what they call it. Even when times are hard, my dick is harder. I remember I ignored her for about a week and when she finally broke down and confronted me about it, all I had to say was "I want to bang you so bad" Previous to that day, I had been upset over an old condom I had found underneath her couch when I was cleaning her apartment. Truth be told, I couldn't stop thinking about nailing her, or how some hot fuking going on over that couch before me. Needless to say, she got angry at my advances and wasn't the least bit impressed. Sexual desire can ruin so much. Whether that be helping to move on for the future, or letting go of the past.

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Post a funny dance step!

Huh, man it's depressing. So, yesterday I finally got off my ass and accomplished a bit of work. I exercised, fully. 30 sit ups, 50 jumping jacks, 50 pushups and 500 jump ropes. I got pretty inspired after that and finally managed to clean my room. Well, mostly because my pc screen cracked when I dropped it; which means I have to now use it on the floor until I get a new one and I had to sweep my dirty carpet. But, I did it. Then I put the energy together to still take a shower, cook diner and take some new photos for Tinder. You can say I went to sleep feeling pretty good. Anyways, today's ending and it has been a downer. I mean, I was hoping for so much with the new pics, but nothing. After all time, and inspiration, I'm still fugly. I swiped to the limit on candidate matches today, but no avail. It's really heart breaking and spirit crushing when you were lifted so high with a positive attitude and optimism, but you come crashing back down when you actually see the truth. Man, all I fucking want is a girl who's cute and not obesely overweight. Is that really so much to ask??? huh..fuck. I see some of the ugliest fucks with girls and there's me. I don't understand what's so bad on my part. I cant believe I haven't matched with a girl I actually fancy yet

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Which female celebrity has a perfect body?

Seriously? I couldn't give a shit about famous celebrity bodies. They are all a bunch of fucking attention whoring, thirsty feeding, Facebook and Instagram casualty pleasers. Don't talk to me about which celebrities I have a crush on, because I don't give a fuck. The real beauties are those gorgeous girls you run into at the store, or catch coming home from work. The real one's are the hotties at the gym, working on the treadmill not for attention, or that girl thick girl in your college classroom. Those are the real MVP'S. Seeing real women, not actors portraying some on occasions. Celebrities try too hard to please everyone else, while those cuties on the street are focused on pleasing themselves. That's a lot hotter to me. Seeing a girl who wants to give it all to one man, rather one girl wanting to show their all to everyone.

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Which place do you find to be the most boring?

Been bored recently. About a week ago I found the Shantae series and I've been playing it like mad. Seriously, I've beaten the first three all in a week. That's primarily because I've been playing them back to back non stop, since. Anyways, after that, I haven't found anything else I've been interested in. The games are great. Super fun and challenging with some good looking girls in it to keep you wanting more. Great series in all, but I've completed it too fast. The last one I'm not able to run on my shitty pc, but I've been thinking of just watching a walk through on youtube. Though, I'd much rather experience the game for my self, but who knows when that could be? Thinking about it because that giga mermaid is looking fit af.

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