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How would you feel if you were your own thanksgiving turkey? How would you handle this inter dimensional paradox?

Well honestly, I feel PREPARED to answer this question. Teehaw. Anyway.
I'd be pretty angry getting stabbed with a fork so I'd use all my inner turkey core muscle to squeeze the fork that's being stabbed into me and I'd rip out the tines so there's a nice dental-related surprise for the people trying to consume me.

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Okay, you have 14 minutes until the big science fair and all you have is 3 sausage links, a map of Europe, a firehose and an increasingly disatisfied chinchilla. What do you do?

So to illustrate how a volcano errupts, I take the map of Europe and roll one side up, creating a volcano shape. I then put the increasingly dissatisfied chinchilla inside the volcano along with the hose and the sausage links. I will lightly spritz the chinchilla with the hose and this will make him angry, thus propelling him to throw the sausage links out of a fit of rage towards the sky and this is symbolic of lava exploding out of the top and then it falls to the outside of the volcano. Even better if the sausage links are hot because lava is, well, hot.

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if you were given a battery and a half of a sheep how would you survive on the surface of the sun?

It depends on which half of the sheep.
If I had the top half, I'd stick my head inside of it and I'd use the battery to keep me entertained until I officially died.
If I had the bottom half, I'm d stick my feet into the sheep and use it as a pair of shoes and then I'd try to find a way to fall off the surface of the sun and I'd use my battery either a.) wave around to get attention from distant satellites or b.) drop it and hope it kills someone stupid eventually.

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